Flailing Away with Frustrated

I'm moving...

2007-02-24T06:01:00.000-08:00

This is my last post on blogspot as I am being a good lemming and following everyone else to Wordpress for multiple reasons but the biggest is the wonderful editing and management options they provide which are much easier to use. All of the posts from this blog have been exported over to the new site. You can find me at the following link...

http://frustratedwriter.wordpress.com

Oy Vey, What a Day

2007-02-23T05:07:00.000-08:00

There are just some days, when you pause to think about them, make you shake your head and wonder. Was that a good day or was that a bad day? Case in point, yesterday.

Starts at 6 in the morning, getting final emails out to a possible funder and producing a document to be faxed.

7 a.m. - fax won't go through, emails are completed, and now you realize you will have to hand deliver the papers to be faxed.

7:30 a.m. - answer a telephone call from a lady who wants to come and work. Money isn't a problem, just wants to work with kids. I really think she should work on not slurring all of her words so early in the morning.

8 a.m. - have papers in an envelope, heading out of town to a meeting scheduled for 10.

8:30 - papers delivered and stop to fill tank of car. Things look like they will be going smooth. Talk on cell phone to dad, daughter, scheduler, funder, director of operations, school superintendent, and a friend.

9:45 a.m. - arrive in Sweetwater. Have accomplished the following - secured a place for my daughter's wedding, rehearsal dinner, and secured necessary items for decorations. Talked to the folks who can help fund her internship in Thailand. Talked to the funder, they will participate financially in 2007 (a wonderful thing), have a plan in place for transportation for our summer programs, and heard a great story from my friend. Things are looking good.

10-noon - have an excellent meeting, tour, and discussion about a possible new club in an extremely depressed area where a Club would be a wonderful answer to some of their concerns. Everyone seems to be excited and it looks to be a win/win for everyone. Stop to talk to local Chamber of Commerce about businesses/donors and then grab a hamburger and head back to Abilene.

1 p.m. - have enjoyed the trip back and was able to chat with my best friend for awhile as I head to finish up exemption papers for licensing. Starting to feel queasy and have a headache.

2:30 p.m. - papers completed and delivered. Get a call from a local foundation, yes, we have received a 50k grant for reading programs! Yeah! Head hurts worse, stomach is doing some strange things.

3 p.m. - into the office, sort through mail, check emails, and head over to do taxes for the community.

8 p.m. - head home. Feeling really strange, weak, and head is hurting terribly.

Rest of the night I am getting to enjoy my bathroom with multiple purges from the stomach, headaches galore, freezing, sweating, and fitful sleep. Feel like someone has run me over multiple times and there is a moment or two I think death might not be so bad.

This morning I am up and still feel like I should be shopping for coffins. Oh well, another day and if it gets worse from here, I'll call it a day and go back to bed.

So was it a good day or a bad day? Hmm... maybe it was a gad day... or egads! Welp, gotta run, the ol' gut is rebelling again, #$(&$%*!)$&#!

Thursday 13 for 2/22/07

2007-02-21T21:44:00.000-08:00

Thirteen Things That Frustrate Me Right Now

1. A best friend who has been harsh with one of my children.

2. An employee who can't stand on their own feet and face conflict.

3. Getting people to commit to a project.

4. The painfully slow process of getting help for a person you dearly love because the wheels of the government turn at a pace that would make a snail seem hyped up on meth.

5. Not having time to write like I want to.

6. Short sighted people who can't see the whole picture.

7. Selfish people who forget the mission of service to the kids.

8. Passive aggressive people. Cowards to the core.

9. A lack of time to do some fairly basic things.

10. Finances.

11. Unimaginative people.

12. My inability to express my feelings at important times.

13. This month is almost over and I feel like I've failed to accomplish 50% of my tasks to accomplish during February.

Thirteen Things That Make Me Smile

1. Watching kids play in the dirt.

2. Seeing bigger kids help little kids work in the Club gardens.

3. A really nice spread in a local magazine featuring our kids and their gardening projects.

4. The sound of a friendly voice on the other end of the phone.

5. Watching Jman make others laugh.

6. Teasing Twyla about Country music.

7. Talking with my kids on the phone.

8. Seeing a project almost completed.

9. Listening to a child at the Club today talk about their love of History and English and how much they hate Math. I could totally relate and smiled even more when they spoke with such great passion about reading.

10. Having lunch with the Ho's. They always pick up my spirits and make me laugh.

11. Reading fortunes from fortune cookies with the addition of "in bed" at the end of them.

12. Sitting outside on the porch and having a fun conversation with Jman. He keeps me laughing anyways but tonight he was extremely witty.

13. Finding sinus medicine when I thought I was out and was going to have to suffer. Ah, sweet relief!

Happy TT everyone!

Step 1

2007-02-21T03:54:00.000-08:00

Monday night at Al Anon was step 1 night, admitting we were powerless to control people, places, or circumstances. As I listened to the folks around the table talk I had to admit this is not an easy step to practice. I think we all admit we can't control other people and their actions, but that doesn't mean we like it or wouldn't like to try.

For me the tough part is accepting the thought of working on me and not worrying about them. I believe they call that the "fixer syndrome" and I know I suffer from it on a large scale.

Which brings me to the three sets of folks who I need to grasp this concept and incorporate it into my life:

1. Family

2. Employees

3. Friends

The consequences of not following this concept tends to be anger, frustration, and exhaustion. To many times I find I am a modern day Jonah, who in his inability to control the situation tells God, "Hey, just shoot me." Okay that is a paraphrase to the max as a) there were no firearms yet so it would've been kind of difficult unless an arrow was used and b) Jonah was much more dramatic than that. Still, the concept is the same as are the consequences when I can't seem to let go of the control.

Perhaps some of the issue is embedded in a deep distrust in people in general to get the job done and perhaps even more of the issue is from having a cynical heart. However, I am working on this step and on days I totally fail at it (yesterday would be a good example) I end the day making amends and go to sleep determined to do better on the morrow.

Sigh, the steps ain't so easy.

Your New and Improved Social Security Office

2007-02-21T03:39:00.000-08:00

I took a friend to the SS office yesterday and we were surprised to watch a lady walk into the building with a 40 oz. beer in her hand. Now I know the SS office is boasting a "friendlier and more accessible" atmosphere but oh my, they have really taken it to a whole new level. (We later decided she was actually throwing the bottle away, but for the purposes of this blog, I'll assume she was taking a swig or two from it as it was about 2/3 empty...)

It occurred to me there are multiple reasons they allow the beer in the office now:

1. It helps pass the time while you wait for an eternity to be served.

2. It makes that first rejection a little easier.

3. You can share some with the ultra-bored security officer who only passion in life is to play with all the locks in the office.

4. If someone happens to go ballistic, you know have a weapon in which to a) subdue them or b) throw at them as you run for the door.

5. Maybe it was being used for proof that the person is having to take beer for medicinal purposes.

6. It also might be SS's way of replacing Medicaid. "You do need some help so here is your 40 oz. for the day. Drink it quick and you'll forget all about your problems."

7. I would think the ultimate reason they would allow a 40 oz. into the SS office is for you to share a nip or two with the case officer who could probably use a drink about 2 in the afternoon...

Then I started to think of other government offices that should probably allow, no, supply 40 oz. bottles of beer to patrons.

1. The Post Office during the Christmas season. It would sure keep the grumbling down.

2. The DMV. Let's face it, you could consume two of those bad boys by the time they get to you and my, wouldn't your driver's license picture be much more fun to look at?

3. The Foodstamp office. It would be sort of cutting the middle man out for some folks, now wouldn't it?

4. The Health Clinic. Hey, I know I could use one before facing the needle. Sigh.

5. HUD. Would you really be all that upset with whatever house they gave you after #2 bottle had been consumed?

Maybe yesterday's woman was a trend setter, no, a pioneer of the times when it comes to dealing with the government. Perhaps we should put her face on the next dollar coin...

Why do they do this to me?

2007-02-20T05:23:00.000-08:00

Sitting in an executive meeting last week, one of the members asked another member if anyone had ever stumped him (he writes a newspaper article where people send in questions and he finds answers for them). He said "yes" and that he had one about "what is the name of Lincoln's chair that he sits on at the Lincoln Memorial?" and that he hadn't been able to find an answer.

Oh man, you know that doomed me to hours of Googling this weekend looking for the answer and so I have now come up with this quiz for you about the LM to see how much you know...

1. How many steps from the Mall floor to the top of the LM?

2. What is carved into the front of the seat of Lincoln?

3. What letters do his hands make (deaf alphabet)?

4. Who carved it?

5. What is written on the 36 pillars surrounding the monument?

Yeah, easy questions I'm sure but #2 I find the most interesting. The artist carved fasces, or Roman beating sticks tied into a bundle, for the front of the seat. I guess that is appropriate as Abe violated the Constitution more than any other president including forcing people to vote or holding Congress hostage until they passed a bill. So on a day to honor him I think we should all wear top hats, grow beards, and offer to buy a whole race of people and send them off to another country to ease tensions between the North and the South. (You know they actually offered this option to Jefferson Davis but it fell through because a) the South thought $800 per person was too cheap and b) Frederick Douglas opposed the proposal on the grounds they were Americans too. Fortunately the proposal fell through but unfortunately it would take another 100 years for full rights to be obtained.)

I hope you all had a fine Presidents' Day!

A Free Weekend!

2007-02-16T05:13:00.000-08:00

Wow! A free weekend without any obligations for work! Talk about a great time of just chillin' and resting. I really should've caught up on my blogging buddies and such but I have to tell you just doing a little laundry, fixin' supper, and watching a basketball game on TV was just pretty sweet!

Sunday I did have to attend a movie shown by our local Non-Profit Center but it was good and I went with some excellent friends which made it better. Afterwards we went bowling, followed by supper out at Chili's. I can't remember when such a weekend happened but I must say it was a thrill to chill.

Oh, one of my buddies even gave me two golf discs with Texas Longhorn logos on them, how cool is that?!?!?!?! Can't wait to go and try them out!

So the week is starting and it will be another hectic week but you know, I think I can knock this one in the head now that I have had a chance to recharge.

Happy Monday everyone!

Thursday 13 for 2/15/07

2007-02-14T20:54:00.000-08:00

Thirteen Thoughts Running Around in my Mind

1. Ever notice that Richard Harris looked like he was wearing blue eye shadow all through Camalot?

2. I wish they would bring in a brawling competition for the NBA All-Star weekend.

3. The weather is supposed to be nice this weekend. I can tune-up the car!

4. Think I will take Jman to a movie this weekend. There are some good ones out there.

5. Ever notice how fast you can move across a cold brick floor when you are trying to get coffee started in the morning?

6. How is it possible for the neighbor's cat to have time to leave paw prints on every car on the block but it doesn't have time to catch any mice?

7. If Iran is giving weapons to insurgents in Iraq, and Russia is giving weapons to Iran, and NATO gives weapons to Russia, and America is giving weapons to NATO, then should we declare war on ourselves?

8. Who decided you could get nuggets from a chicken and exactly what part of the chicken constitutes a nugget?

9. Why doesn't the IRS give extra deductions for people with multiple personalities? After all, aren't they dependant upon the person who has them?

10. I bet the statues in the parks are glad ostriches can't fly over or sit on them.

11. Looking at the coin that has been revealed with Cleopatra's face upon it I am now understanding why she put an asp to her breast. It seems like it was probably more an act of patriotism (sparing her countrymen from having to look at her) than an act of passion.

12. I had a long talk with a dwarf yesterday about dwarfism. I didn't know there was so much to know about the subject.

13. I wonder if anyone has realized lovers celebrate a day whose initials are VD? Hmm...

Have a great Thursday everyone!

Yeah, a Love Poem for Valentines Day

2007-02-14T03:36:00.000-08:00

I know this seems to contradicting my previous post but hey, who can pass up a chance to write a poem on a day that just oozes poetry? Not me...

I searched for a card that said
The feelings I have in my head
About how I want you to be mine
And how I think you are so fine.

But the cards didn't really say
What I felt on this lover's day
So I thought I would get candy
Since that is considered just dandy.

Alas, chocolate makes you break out
And your swelling looks like gout
So I thought "Why not a rose?"
"They're romantic, I suppose."

But who knew you once had fell
On a thorny rose covered knell
And the scratches became infected
Now pain with roses is connected.

I tried jewelry but who knew
What metals can do to you?
My wits end was quickly appearing
And romance seem to be disappearing.

Then Eros allowed me concession
Sating my romantic obsession
When you choked on dinner's entre'
And the Heimlich I did display

But I think the lovely sound
Of the water glass the particle found
Was perhaps my true love expression
Now demonstrated in a stomach compression.

Top that one Hallmark.

Excuse me. Do you have a card expressing desperation?

2007-02-14T02:59:00.000-08:00

Today is the day folks will celebrate a Saint who defied the law and secretly married couples who desperately wanted to be together. He went to prison and was later executed for his roguery but lucky for him some entreprenuer named Hallmark immortalized him in the form of a candy giving, card swapping, let's get together for a fancy meal holiday.

Think about it. It is a day for the desperate. A day when people will take a risk to express their feelings for another human being while hanging onto the slim hope the other person has recipricol feelings. It is a day when hearts are more often broken than bolstered.

I learned this the hard way. In fourth grade I had a terrible crush on Kim Storlie, a cute lass with pouty lips who could melt your heart with a demur smile. As fourth graders go, I thought myself to be a real catch since a) I made the best grades in the class, b) the teacher thought I was a heaven sent child in the midst of a bunch of rogues (especially when she was sober), and c) I had already had more than my fair share of girl friends during my illustrious school career. So on this ill fated Valentines Day as we all walked around the room and dropping our boxed set wonders of love's expressions into each others construction papered mail boxes, I slipped my biggest one into Kim's mailbox. How thrilling it was to sort through the twenty or so cards to find a nice one from Kim that actually had additional writing on the back that said, "I think you coot. Kiss me." Wow! She couldn't spell worth a darn but my oh my, I bet she could kiss!

So I go up to her during punch and cookies and with her card in hand say, "I think you are cute too and would love to give kissing a try!" She looked at the card, took it out of my hand and said, "That isn't your card, that is _____________'s card. What are you doing with it? Like I would ever want to give you a kiss." Yuppers, crush my heart you minx, I hope you get tonsilitis when you kiss _________.

Toss in a Sherry who tells me in eighth grade she is ditching me on Valentines Day because the silver tongued, velvet throated crooner Richard has smiled at her while playing his guitar and singing sappy love songs and she is pretty sure he has feelings only for her. I tell her to go and chase yon Richard and may she find happiness among the C and G chords while inwardly I thought someone was crushing my heart with a meat tenderizer. Four years later she would ask me to run away with her and to get married... Hmm, I wonder what happened to the song of the siren Richard?

In marriage I didn't fare any better with Valentines Day being a rather painful day until it was turned into a day to celebrate the kids. When that happened it became a marvelous affair as they really were the ultimate expression of what true love is; the giving of yourself for another human, or in this case four precious humans.

So it isn't any wonder that I had developed a cynical eye for this day of desperation. You find yourself wiping the tears from rejected children's eyes, listening to the heart wrenching stories of friends who suffer from unrequited love, or even worse, abusive love. You wonder just what was that guy thinking when he created a day to celebrate love, no, desperate love?

And yet... somehow we cynics find within us a glimmer of hope. A longing for all of our past pains and disappointments to become pavers on which we walk towards a carefully manicured garden where true love grows. A place where for the first time in our lives we discover tenderness instead of analytical harshness, affirmation in place of criticism, and most of all, a place where desperation has been weeded out to allow the expression of hearts to flourish in the gentle rain of shared dreams, the sunshine of celebrated victories, and deeply rooted in the belief your kindred spirits can truly meld into one.

It is that hope that suppresses the cynic in all of us and keeps us coming back, willingly exposing our hearts despite the lessons learned from our tortured pasts.

May this be the year hope wins over experience.

I can't sleep so I'm doing another meme...sigh.

2007-02-12T01:40:00.000-08:00

I stole this one from Rhodent's blog.

1. FIRST NAME?
Mark
2. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
My dad always said I was named after one of my mom's ex-boyfriends while mom always responded, "Who said he was an ex?" Okay, she never did say that but it would've been funny if she had.
3. BETTER TALKER OR LISTENER?
Generally a better listener although I do like to entertain... so maybe 50/50 on this one.
4. WHEN DID YOU LAST CRY?
Cry? There's no crying in blogging.
5. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
Nope.
6. WHAT IS YOU FAVORITE LUNCHMEAT?
Pastrami
7. KIDS?
4 - 3 girls, one boy
8. WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
Yes
9. DO YOU HAVE A JOURNAL?
Isn't that kind of what a blog is?
10. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT?
Moi? Moi?
11. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS?
Nope, gave them up for Lent.
12. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?
Only if Bungee was really short and could squat down really close to the floor.
13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL?
Cinamon Life
14. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?
Nope, untie them to put them on. Come on, if you happened to die during the night, that would have been a wasted effort to untie them. Only do what you have to do...
15. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG?
Well yeah, especially after working a couple of days in the hot sun without a shower
16. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR?
coffee
17. SHOE SIZE?
10 1/2
18. RED OR PINK?
Red
19. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF?
My hair disappearing
20. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST?
My brother
21. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO SEND THIS BACK TO YOU?
Only if they can't sleep or are bored at work
22. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES YOU ARE WEARING?
Well I am writing this early in the morning which means neither.
23. LAST THING YOU ATE?
Ice
24. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
TV
25. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?
Green
26. FAVORITE SMELL?
Coffee
27. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
Twyla
28. THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE YOU ARE ATTRACTED TO?
Oh like anyone is going to believe anything I say to this one because I am a guy and we are doomed to look only at one place because we apparantly can't raise our eyes above chest level so I will go with feet. Yeah, feet. See, you don't believe me, do you?
29. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU?
No one sent it to me but I do like Rhodent and I stole it from her blog.
30. FAVORITE DRINK?
Black Cherry Fresca
31. FAVORITE SPORT TO WATCH?
Football
32. HAIR COLOR?
Brown
33. EYE COLOR?
Hazel
34. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?
Sometimes when I know I won't be doing a lot of reading.
35. FAVORITE FOOD?
Mexican food
37. FAVORITE HYMN?
Flee As A Bird
38. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?
Hmm, flesh tone
39. PLAY AN INSTRUMENT?
Yes, but not exceptionally well
40. HUGS OR KISSES?
Hershey kisses are definitely superior
41. FAVORITE MOVIE?
The Man With One Red Shoe for a comedy, A Bridge Too Far for a drama
42. WINTER OR SUMMER OLYMPICS?
Summer
43. SUMMER OR WINTER WEATHER?
Fall
44. WHAT BOOKS ARE YOU READING?
I've got three in the works...
45. WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
University of Texas Longhorn at work, a Quest one at home
46. WHAT DID YOU WATCH LAST NIGHT ON TV?
Family Guy
47. FAVORITE HOBBY?
Reloading, hunting or fishing
48. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES?
Beatles
49. THE FURTHEST YOU BEEN FROM HOME?
Conneticut
50. FAVORITE STORE?
Harbor Freight
51. WHEN AND WHERE WERE YOU BORN?
May 4th in Stephenville, TX They still won't let me back in town.
52. SIBLINGS?
5 brothers
53. HEELS OR FLATS?
Hmm, I don't wear either, despite all the ugly rumors
54. SWEET OR UNSWEET TEA?
Unsweet, for sure
55. SPEAK ANOTHER LANGUAGE?
Yup, Bubba-ese

From the files of being an extra

2007-02-12T01:01:00.000-08:00

Sitting around the room and waiting for three hours gives you a chance to notice several things about the fine art of making a show for television. Some are obvious, some become even more so as the night wears on.

First rule of being an extra: Don't try to mingle with the stars... they have worth, you my friend are just background (they actually refer to you as that with phrases such as "Background, you need to do this or you need to that...") They will eat before you do, eat separately from you and no, they won't have their picture taken with you so don't ask.

Second rule of being an extra: Listen to the little man who is crawling around on his knees and yelling at you. If he says to cross over in front of the camera, then get your butt across the gym floor in a hurry! Don't dawdle or the crew will look at you like you just ran over their dog and laughed while you did it.

Third rule of being an extra: Don't overact. If they ask you to make a small reaction to the "stars" walking into the gym, then your reaction should be small. If you drop your jaw, raise your eyebrows and gape, then you will bring the cursed "CUT! CUT! CUT!" down from heaven and the cute actresses will all use the "F" word in ways that will make you wonder if they have ever studied anatomy or have they even noticed you possibly couldn't bend that way.

Fourth rule of being an extra: Don't lose your voucher. No voucher, no pay and you sure wouldn't want to miss out on $5.50 an hour.

Fifth rule of being an extra: Don't tell the wardrobe lady the flower she just pinned onto your suit, that is big enough to hide a large Chihuahua, is tacky. She tends to stab you with the pins.

Sixth rule of being an extra: Try to avoid clumping up with other extras. It just makes the killer instinct of the directors come out as they start to see you as frightened sheep bunching together in terror as you wait for the wolves to descend...

Seventh rule of being an extra: Don't volunteer for the entry shots if you don't enjoy walking around for an hour in freezing temperatures. Pretend your shoes aren't made for walking up steep inclines. TGBO had this one figured out and luckily we didn't fall into that trap!

Well there are seven rules to follow. Still a fun experience and plenty of blogging material to be had, which makes me very happy! Have a great Monday everyone!

Sweet Vindication

2007-02-12T00:42:00.000-08:00

"Women don't read the back of cards!" I grinned on that one because I had seen too many women do it but it was a fun argument full of jests, points and counterpoints, and finally an admission from me that perhaps this one on my last Thursday Thirteen was a small jab at the feminine segment of our species.

Then tonight as we ate at Red Lobster the following conversation was overheard at the table next to us.

"How long did you spend looking for this card?" There is a moment of nervous silence as the man considers an answer. I am fighting down the temptation to scream, "Don't do it man, it's a trap!" but before I can warn him he answers.

"Fifteen minutes." I know he is thinking to himself, "Fifteen minutes is ample time to find an appropriate card for Valentines Day but au contraire, mon ami, it's not.

"Were you looking in the Hallmark section or the Cheap section?" Now is there really a good answer to this question? Again, I struggle to speak with a mouthful of salad, "Man, redirect! Redirect! Choke on something, have a heart attack! Abort! Abort!" Alas, not only does he forge ahead towards a swift relationship execution, I think he is making the noose out of his napkin.

"I thought it was a Hallmark card." Oooh, bad move, my man, they read the back of the card and the back of the card does not lie...

"No, see this? This says American Greetings, not Hallmark. They make some nice cards but not like Hallmark."

"I thought the card was cool." He caught me drinking my water and before I could swallow I heard her say, "No, my card was cool. This is a card you might buy for Peanut."

Okay, I don't know who Peanut is but I'm guessing Peanut is either not human or one of this guys buddies. Either way, it is obvious purchasing a Valentines Day card for either would be a step down from buying a card for your "ahem... Valentine."

About this time I am trying hard not to laugh out loud as my date looks at me with a shocked expression and says, "If I wasn't here to hear this conversation, I would've thought you were making this all up. I want to go over there and tell her she is giving all women a bad name."

Yes my friends, sweet vindication for my Thursday Thirteen! Whoever the poor man was that sat behind us I can only offer this advice, "Take Peanut and RUN!"

EXTRA! EXTRA! Working as an Extra for Friday Night Lights

2007-02-10T04:56:00.000-08:00

I don't have much time to post today as I am getting ready for a day long fundraiser at the Mall. I will post sometime this weekend on my being part of the "background" for the TV show, Friday Night Lights. TGBO had called me and asked me if I would work with her as an extra for the Father/Daughter dance sequence and I agreed.

A short timeline for the whole event:

Noon - Leave Abilene for Austin

3:00 - Hit Austin traffic on I-35

3:45 - Arrive at the Texas School for the Deaf Campus

4:30 - Check in, fill out I-9s and paperwork

7:00 - After waiting for three hours, we are briefed on our roles as Father/Daughter dancers

11:00 - Four hours of dancing later, we are released to go home. It takes thirty more minutes to return props to wardrobe and to turn in your vouchers.

Midnight - Heading out of Austin for home

3 a.m. - Arrive home. Collapse on bed. Set alarms to wake me up at 6:15 so I can start Saturday early enough to prepare for the Diamond Dig fundraiser for our organization. I plan to sleep well tonight (the fundraiser ends tonight at 9)!

Have a good Saturday everyone! Will post more about the fun things that happen when you are an extra!

Thirteen Thoughts About Valentines

2007-02-08T04:46:00.000-08:00

With the holiday of lovers coming up, I thought I would share 13 thoughts about Valentines for the younger guys out there...

1. Chocolate is always a good choice. In fact chocolate covers a multitude of sins.

2. Look at the back of the card. Pay the extra bucks. They do look...

3. Roses are nice, but the florist use this event to financially rape you. I think roses away from Valentines, unexpected roses, are much more meaningful.

4. I opt for originality on Valentines Day. Creative thinking wins the day. Do something out of the ordinary.

5. Poetry is always good provided you can write it well. As for me, sigh, mine suffers a bit so lines such as "Your eyes are like glazed donuts in a bakery store window..." probably doesn't do my thoughts justice so if you are like me, go with the pros...

6. I find waiting in line for hours to get a table not so romantic. Make a reservation.

7. Jewelry is supposed to be the perfect gift but my past experiences haven't been so bueno, so perhaps we should avoid such gifts and stick with something meaningful.

8. I am pretty sure we should avoid lines such as "Hey, let's pick up some cheap wine and get wasted" since most women wouldn't consider that romantic.

9. Serenading your sweetheart is a nice touch provided a) you can sing and b) small amphibians won't come out in droves thinking mating season has started when they hear your heartfelt ballad.

10. Avoid making comments about sports on this one day. Yeah, I know, that seems a bit cruel but it is about showing attention to them, after all.

11. Try to look interested when they are telling you something. It even helps if you can pick up a phrase of two to repeat back at an opportune moment.

12. Don't take them to a sports bar for Valentines. Believe me, the temptations are too great and you run the risk of having a really good game on the screen when you should be paying attention to your date.

13. The best advice I can give you younger guys about Valentines Day is to make a list of all the reasons you want this person to be your Valentine. Look at the list often. Memorize it. There will be a test later and they don't grade on a curve.

Okay, there is my Thursday 13 for what it is worth. I probably should do a list for the ladies on what guys want for Valentines but it is a rather short list and I doubt I could find 13 ways to expound on the mentality of men so I will pass on that one. Happy TT everyone!

Tax Tango

2007-02-06T20:05:00.000-08:00

Filling out tax forms for folks you get some interesting scenarios and I have found you actually get to do a little dance with each one of them. You are both a bit shy at first, not quite sure who is going to lead but soon the music of numbers and W-2s takes over and you find both are pretty adept at this ritual.

"Do you know about the telephone tax credit?" they ask coyly.

"Yes, the program defaults automatically gives you the credit and we would have to manually remove it if you answered that you did not have any long distance services since 2003." They nod appreciately at the agileness of my move but quickly pull me back with,

"My mother lives with us and we provide food, shelter, and most of her medicine. Can we claim her?" There is a big smile as they believe they have started to twirl me around but I dodge the move with,

"Sure, if your mom hasn't already filed, doesn't claim herself, and hasn't already filed otherwise." The smile leaves their face as they race out the room to call mom to stop her from filing. I take a moment to hurriedly fill in the spaces before they return. As they file back in and sit down in front of the table, they are a bit more wary.

"We qualified for EITC last year and got lots of money back. We want to do that again this year." I nod enthusiastically because this is the primary reason the free tax service is offered, to increase the number of people who can take advantage of this benefit and to keep them from being gouged by instant refund services.

"No problem, let me get all of your information in and we will see what we can do."

The dance continues with questions and answers, sly sliding movements to avoid direct confrontation that might lead to their unhappiness but ultimately you find yourself heading to the grand finale where you will either dip them with a flourish or drop them on the floor with the thud of "I'm sorry, your refund is much less this year because a) you didn't work enough b) little Johnny has grown up and doesn't live with you any more and is now married and raising his own kids, or c) you can't claim your dogs, no matter what the tax preparer's in Wally World tell you."

Luckily, most of the time you are able to tell them they are getting a nice refund and the dance ends with everyone clapping and sweating appreciatively. Those dances are fun... it's the thud ending ones that break your heart.

I hope your dance with the IRS is a good one this year and that you have the chance to step on their toes as much as possible.

Televison Metamorphesis

2007-02-06T05:33:00.000-08:00

I can remember when I started my current position how nervous I would be whenever I had to get in front of a camera. The thought of the unanticipated question catching you off guard or even worse, having them take a sound bit and then slicing it where your statements are taken out of context was enough to have your stomach in knots. Those moments before live interviews would find me pacing anxiously and having to mentally calm myself down.

Now... hmm, I arrive at the station, chat with everyone, share jokes and swap stories with the studio people and feel totally at ease. Let them ask the unanticipated question, in fact, please ask it because it makes the interaction spontaneous and fun. Several I would even consider friends instead of acquaintances and can rely on them to step in and help out the Clubs for any events.

I guess time heals more than wounds, it heals fears too. That which used to twist me up now is considered fun.

Lyrics to the Daughter Song

2007-02-06T05:29:00.000-08:00

Slvr tells me she can't access the website so here are the lyrics to the Daughter Song by Tom Wilson.

She’s got long blonde hair running down her back
Pretty blue eyes and that’s a fact
Her nose is just perfect and her smile just gleams
She looks like a model in a magazine!
She’s got her itty bitty body in a teeny tiny skirt
You can see her belly button ‘neath her purple skimpy shirt
She’s a California beauty who can stop the show
But there’s one thing fellas you got to know,

She’s my daughter. That’s right, she’s my daughter
If you touch her, or hurt her or make her sad
I’m gonna hurt you twice as bad.

I’m the kind of guy that likes to have some fun
Drinkin’ lots of liquor and polishing my gun
You wanna mess around with my pussycat
I might just kill you with a baseball bat
I own a crowbar, steak knives, I got a hatchet man
But come one let’s face it, I could kill you with my bare hands
I catch you making moves on her I know just what to do
I’ll shove my foot so far up you I could wear you as a shoe

Yeah, yeah she’s my daughter
Oooo, ooooo, ooooo she's my daughter

I’ll sneak into your room where your mommy makes your bed
I’ll grab that stupid surfer necklace and beat your little head in
Come on over for dinner and meet us friendly folks
Just remember little fella, this song is not a joke
Steam roller baby, gonna roll all over you.

I've Done 124 out of 158 random things.

2007-02-05T12:48:00.000-08:00

I was tagged by Slvr on this one...

Level 1
(x) Smoked A Cigarette
(x) Smoked A Cigar
() Smoked Weed
(x) Kissed A Member Of The Same Sex (Used to kiss my son on the cheek all the time when he was little
(x) Drank Alcohol

SO FAR: 4

Level 2
(x) Are / Have Been In Love
(x) Been Dumped
(x) Shoplifted (There is quite a story behind this one involving getting back at a crooked shop keeper who took money from little kids who couldn't count... will have to post about it someday)
(x) Been Fired (It probably was more of a mutual agreement. We agreed I should leave before he died of fright from all of the cigarette loads I kept putting into his cigarettes...sheesh)
(x) Been In A Fist Fight

SO FAR: 9

Level 3
(x) Snuck Out Of A Parent's House
(x) Had Feelings For Someone Who Didn't Have Them Back
() Been Arrested
(x) Made Out With A Stranger (Okay, another interesting story but one that shouldn't be repeated)
(x) Gone Out On A Blind Date

SO FAR: 13

Level 4
(x) Had A Crush On An Older Person
(x) Skipped School
() Slept With A Fellow Student
(x) Seen Someone / Something Die
(x) Said a bad word

SO FAR: 17

Level 5
() Had / Have A Crush On One Of Your Facebook Friends
() Been To Paris
() Been To Spain
(x) Been On A Plane
() Thrown Up From Drinking

SO FAR: 18

Level 6
(x) Eaten Sushi
() Been Snowboarding
() Met Someone BECAUSE Of Facebook
() Been in a Mosh Pit
(x) Been on a road trip

SO FAR: 20

Level 7
(x) Been In An Abusive Relationship
(x) Taken Pain Killers (Who hasnt haha)
(x) Love/Like Loved/Liked Someone Who You Cant Have
(x) Laid On Your Back And Watched Cloud Shapes Go By
(x) Made A Snow Angel

SO FAR: 25

Level 8
(x) Had A Tea Party
(x) Flown A Kite
(x) Built A Sand Castle
(x) Gone Mudding/Offroading
(x) Played Dress Up (with my children... sheesh)
SO FAR: 30

Level 9
(x) Jumped Into A Pile Of Leaves
(x) Gone Sledding
(x) Cheated While Playing A Game
(x) Been Lonely
(x) Fallen Asleep At Work / School

SO FAR: 35

Level 10
(x) Watched The Sun Set
() Felt An Earthquake
(x) Killed A Snake
(x) Been in a fire
() Been in a hurricane

SO FAR: 38

Level 11
(x) Been Tickled
(x) Been Robbed / Vandalized
(x) Stole something (The candy in the desk next to me in the first grade)
(x) Been Misunderstood
(x) Been in a Tornado

SO FAR: 43

Level 12
(x) Won A Contest
() Been Suspended From School
() Had Detention
(x) Been In A Car / Motorcycle Accident
(x) Watched fireworks on the water

SO FAR: 46

Level 13
(x) Had / Have Braces
(x) Eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night
(x) Danced in the moonlight
(x) Ran in the rain
(x) Screamed at the top of your lungs

SO FAR: 51

Level 14
(x) Hated The Way You Looked
(x) Witnessed A Crime
() Pole Danced (I don't think I've ever danced with someone from Poland)
(x) Questioned Your Heart
(x) Been obsessed with post-it-notes (If people would quit taking them off of my desk I probably wouldn't be so obsessed)

SO FAR: 55

Level 15
(x) Squished Barefoot Through The Mud
(x) Been Lost
() Been To The Opposite Side Of The World (I have been to Arkansas and that is pretty close...)
(x) Swam In The Ocean
(x) Felt Like You Were Dying

SO FAR: 60

Level 16
() Cried Yourself To Sleep
(x) Played Cops And Robbers
(x) Recently Colored With Crayons / Colored Pencils / Markers
(x) Sang Karaoke
(x) Paid For A Meal With Only Coins

SO FAR: 64

Level 17
(x) Done Something You Told Yourself You Wouldn't
(x) Made Prank Phone Calls
(x) Laughed Until Some Kind Of Beverage Came Out Of Your Nose
(x) Kissed In The Rain
(x) Played Ping-pong

SO FAR: 69

Level 18
(x) Written A Letter To Santa Claus
(x) Been Kissed Under A Mistletoe
(x) Watched The Sun Set/ sun rise With Someone You Care / Cared About
(x) Blown Bubbles
(x) Made A Bonfire On The Beach or Anywhere

SO FAR: 74

Level 19
(x) Crashed A Party
(x) Have Traveled More Than 5 Days With A Car Full Of People
(x) Gone Rollerskating / Blading
(x) Had A Wish Come True
() Been Humped By A Monkey (Now who would ever admit to such a thing?)

SO FAR: 79

Level 20
() Worn Pearls
(x) Jumped Off A Bridge
() Swam With Dolphins
() Rode a Camel (I've smoked a Camel...)

SO FAR: 80

Level 22
(x) Got Your Tongue Stuck To A Pole/Freezer/Ice Cube
(x) Kissed A Fish (That bass was almost 9 pounds... who wouldn't have kissed it?)
(x) Worn The Opposite Sex's Clothes
(x) Sat On A Roof Top
() Kissed A Worm (Swallowed one on a dare one time, does that count?)

SO FAR: 84

Level 23
(x) Done / Attempted A One-Handed Cartwheel (I believe that call this "falling")
(x) Talked On The Phone For More Than 6 Hours
(x) Recently Pulled An All-Nighter
(x) Ridden a Ferriswheel

SO FAR: 88

Level 24
(x) Picked And Ate An Apple Right Off The Tree
(x) Climbed A Tree
(x) Had / Been In A Tree House
(x) Been scared To Watch Scary Movies Alone
(x) Peed your pants (I would think everyone has done this one as you once were in diapers...)

SO FAR: 93

Level 25
(x) Believed In Ghosts
() Have had More Then 30 Pairs Of Shoes
(x) Gone Streaking
(x) Visited Jail
(x) Scared of the dark (I think it was the sound of a hacked off rattlesnake that had me scared, but I'll give the dark the credit since I couldn't see it...)

SO FAR: 97

Level 26
(x) Played Chicken
(x) Been Pushed into a pool with all your clothes on
(x) Been Told You're Hot By A Complete Stranger
(x) Broken A Bone (finger during the Wheezer vs. Geezer game...)
(x) Been Easily Amused

SO FAR: 102

Level 27
(x) Caught A Fish Then Ate It Later
() Made A Porn Video/Got Asked To Make One
(x) Caught A Butterfly
(x) Laughed So Hard You Cried
() Cried So Hard You Laughed

SO FAR: 105

Level 28
(x) Mooned / Flashed Someone
(x) Had Someone Moon / Flash You
(x) Forgotten Someone's Name
(x) French Braided Someones Hair (Sigh, the bane of having three daughters... it wasn't pretty braiding either. I believe they learned quickly to braid each other's hair)
(x) Been Kicked Out Of Your House (Does leaving voluntarily count?)

SO FAR: 109

Level 29
(x) Rode A Roller Coaster
() Went Scuba-Diving / Snorkeling
(x) Had A Cavity
(x) Black-Mailed Someone (I like to think of it more as "managing brothers")
(x) Been Black Mailed

SO FAR: 114

Level 31
(x) Been Used
(x) Fell Going Up The Stairs
() Licked A Cat
(x) Bitten Someone
(x) Licked Someone

SO FAR : 119

Level 32
(x) Been Shot At/Held At Gunpoint (luckily he was using a shotgun and we all had a good fifty yard head start)
(x) Had Sex In The Rain (like this is anyone's business)
(x) Flattened Someone's Tires (It did help them get out of the mud)
(x) Rode your car/truck until the gas light came on (Every week...)
(x) Got five dollars or less worth of gas (duh, most folks only buy a gallon at a time for the lawnmower...)

Finished with 124

I won't tag anyone but have to admit I would find most of your lists interesting... and some of you will be wondering why this is called a "random" list since they all seem so natural to you...lol.

The Daughter Song

2007-02-05T06:24:00.000-08:00

Here is a song that most fathers would love to sing to those boys who come up to take their daughters out. Click the link and scroll down to click on the video... Tom Wilson from Back to the Future does a great job with this song!

Sorry, couldn't get blogger to link so copy and paste this into your address bar:

http://www.stupidity.org/video/1582

Thursday 13 for 2/1/07

2007-01-31T19:04:00.000-08:00

Thirteen Random Thoughts

1. My staff member called yesterday about his brother. They are waiting one more doctor to take a look and then they will remove the life support. He is 21.

2. My mom is in the hospital having tests run. I am reminded again that life is unpredictable at best.

3. If a red light is burned out in a traffic light, does that mean you can go anytime you wish?

4. Why is it when you honk at a bumper sticker that says "Honk if you love Jesus" you totally upset the owner of the car?

5. So we voted at my service club yesterday on whether we should raise the dues slightly, move to a better location, and avoid having meals served to us that are often presented with additional garnish that is still moving and wiggling on your plate. The move was voted down. I am wondering if they allowed the cockroaches to vote...

6. My neighbor's have a dog that is supposed to be guarding their drive. Every time I take out the trash I sneak up on him, place my trash in the bin, and get back beyond my fence before he even notices I've been within ten feet of him. I'm thinking they may want to get a more enthusiastic dog.

7. My friend is in the hospital for some tests. We went to visit him last night and what a thrill it was to see his smile, his happiness at having three visitors, and most of all, watching him at his social butterfly best. Some of the best moments in life are found in the most interesting places.

8. Took two of my favorite people out to Zuchinni's last night. What a treat to spend time with them!

9. I had a great chat with one of the club members about math. I personally hated math in school but always made good grades in it but this child loves math and went on and on about how she handled the more difficult math problems that third grade tosses her way. I think such enthusiasm gives me hope for the next generation.

10. I was watching the shadows of limbs being blown in the wind as they danced across my bedroom ceiling. They looked frazzled, harried, and panicked... if shadows can truly look frazzled, harried, and panicked.

11. Molly Ivins kicked the bucket yesterday. Huh.

12. Sometimes in the morning hours, when sleep in elusive, I wish I could find myself a nice soft patch of grass somewhere in the country where I could lay down and just stare up at the stars.

13. I thought about an old friend who has long since passed from this earth. Lincoln Lohn could always make me laugh, taught me some of the finer points of shooting (which was pretty important to a young boy), but most of all, taught me the tools of the trade in telling a good story. He died alone in a nursing home down in San Marcos. I always wished I could've been there with him, swapping stories and jokes with him until his final breath. He deserved nothing less.

A Steven Wright Sort of a Day

2007-01-30T05:00:00.000-08:00

Whenever I just want a smile I like to read Steven Wright quotes... here are a few of my favorites.

My theory of evolution is that Darwin was adopted.

On the other hand, you have different fingers.

Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time.

So, do you live around here often?

Some people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.

When I was crossing the border into Canada, they asked if I had any firearms with me. I said, "Well, what do you need?"

When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, "Did you sleep good?" I said "No, I made a few mistakes."

Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song? The guy who wrote that song wrote everything.

So who makes you grin?

Tradition One - Unity

2007-01-30T04:47:00.000-08:00

So last night was tradition night, a discussion of the twelve traditions that go along with the twelve steps. I really wasn't thrilled about having traditions when it is enough work just to do the steps but I am now realizing why they are there.

Unity is tradition one - the fact the AlAnon group is unified in an effort against a common foe, an uncontrolled life of living with someone who is an alcoholic, whether they be family or friend. I think that includes standing together against a common enemy of trying to control the world around you, something everyone in the group suffers from.

Welp, the group told stories, discussed battles won and lost, and explored heartaches and triumphs from their lives. It is a most interesting experience since I know I am witnessing a form of emotional nudity. No one is clothed in pretense, all come baring their souls, sharing their anger, hurt, hope, dispair, or whatever prevelant emotion is hammering them on this day. No one interrupts. No one judges. No one puts them down. They listen. They tell their own story. They stand unified.

Last night I witnessed this on a whole new level. A person coming off the street, thinking we were a church group so that he could ask for ten dollars for a fix. When he realized we were an AlAnon group, he sat down and worked the program, being honest about his intentions and stating what he really needed was a fix... a fix of coming together with a community who understood his addiction, would not feed it, but instead would help him not give into it. No one judged him, they instead embraced him. No, he didn't get the ten bucks, but he left smiling and for a moment he left sober.

So this morning I am wondering why it is our other "communities" are not so supportive. The community we work in every day, the churches we worship in, or even our community of family. Aren't they all full of adversity and challenge? Doesn't everyone deserve the security and hope of having people surround them to support them instead of judging them?

I'm thinking it is a tradition this whole world needs.

Time is the coin of your life.

2007-01-30T04:38:00.000-08:00

Time is the coin of your life. It is the only coin you have, and only you can determine how it will be spent. Be careful lest you let other people spend it for you.
Carl Sandburg

Go Carl! You hit this one on the head and these days it seems I am laying that coin down everywhere. Tonight we start doing taxes for people. Yesterday I received word I lost one of my two volunteers which means I am now going to cover one night a week by myself.

Next week we start a mentoring program for kids who want to go to college and help them fill out FAFSAs, hunt for scholarships, and apply for colleges.

I am pretty sure I now officially have no Saturdays free in February.

United Way proposals kick in during March which gives you weeks of late night and weekend sessions of assessing information, building cases for funding, and wrapping it up in a nice presentation for review.

Toss in three major fundraising events between now and the 4th of July...

I think I need a larger denomination of coin.

Hopefully there will be help soon.

A Harsh Reminder

2007-01-28T05:50:00.000-08:00

Friday a young man is in my office discussing his future, his dreams, hashing out his options. He has such great potential and talents the only obstacle in his way is himself. The future looks extremely bright for him.

Saturday he is calling me to tell me his brother was in an accident, not expected to make it. Suddenly the future is forgotten and the here and now has his full attention.

In a blink of an eye our perspective is transformed, our priorities changed.

If you are of the praying mindset, I know he and his family would appreciate your prayers.

An Excellent Song

2007-01-28T05:32:00.000-08:00

I've been listening to a lot of Nickel Creek lately and this is one of my favorites.

Tomorrow Is a Long Time

performed by Nickel Creek
written by Bob Dylan

If today was not an endless highway,
If tonight was not a crooked trail,
If tomorrow wasn't such a long time,
Then lonesome would mean nothing to you at all.
Yes, and only if my own true love was waitin',
Yes, and if I could hear her heart a-softly poundin',
Only if she was lyin' by me,
Then I'd lie in my bed once again.

I can't see my reflection in the waters,
I can't speak the sounds that show no pain,
I can't hear the echo of my footsteps,
Or can't remember the sound of my own name.
Yes, and only if my own true love was waitin',
Yes, and if I could hear her heart a-softly poundin',
Only if she was lyin' by me,
Then I'd lie in my bed once again.

There's beauty in the silver, singin' river,
There's beauty in the sunrise in the sky,
But none of these and nothing else can touch the beauty
That I remember in my true love's eyes.
Yes, and only if my own true love was waitin',
Yes, and if I could hear her heart a-softly poundin',
Only if she was lyin' by me,
Then I'd lie in my bed once again.

Two Good Flicks and a Song

2007-01-28T05:11:00.000-08:00

Saw We Are Marshall and The Freedom Writers last night and I must say both were good movies. Since they are true stories it tends to make them even better and more uplifting.

Freedom Writers really hit home. The kids we serve aren't in as desperate of a situation as the one in the movie as the gang violence isn't anything like that of the major cities in California, but we do get our share of negativism and a sense of there is no way out for so many of the youngsters. To see someone beleive in them and help them rise above the expected failure to become literate and to develop dreams beyond "I want to live until I'm 18" gives a person hope. Like I said, it caught my attention and was just the message I needed.

Last week we had a young girl killed in her bed during a drive by shooting. 3 young men are in custody and are looking at living out lives that are now officially ruined, if they get to live them. They committed this heinous act in a culture of vengence, where no one talks to the police because it would remove their opportunity to strike back. These may not be the streets of L.A. or Long Beach, but they are still dangerous nonetheless creating a sense of angst within the communities.

Last week I suffered another cynical attack when I spent some time before a meeting working puzzles with a bright six year old. She was quick, she picked up on the word recognition almost immediately and was a true joy to listen to and to instruct. Other kids at the table were soon doing puzzles and showing me how good they were at putting them together and pronouncing the words on them. With my whole heart I want everyone of them to beat the street and become viable and contributing citizens in their community but the cynicism strikes and you start to doubt that most will graduate or even secure good jobs.

I realize such doubt and cynicism is the greatest enemy of the kids in the street. It leads to writing them off and looking to put bandaids on gaping wounds. The movie last night was a great reminder that such thoughts have no place in our world and are only good for killing the spirit and the hope of those who need us most.

Do yourself a favor and go see the movie. You won't regret it.

I wish I knew how to do the whole song bit where you can hear them while you read the post, but I don't so I will just post these appropriate lyrics.

When In Rome
performed by Nickel Creek

Where can a sick man go
When he can't choke down the medicine the old doc knows
A specialist came to town, but he stays at home
Sayin', "No one knows, so I don't"
Honey, when in Rome

Where can a teacher go
Wherever she thinks people need the things she knows
Hey those books you gave us look good on the shelves at home
And they'll burn warm in the fireplace
Teacher, when in Rome

Grab a blanket, sister
We'll make smoke signals
Bring some new blood
It feels like we're alone

Grab a blanket, brother
So we don't catch cold
From one another
I wonder if we're stuck in Rome

Where can a dead man go
The question with an answer only dead men know
But I'm gonna bet they never really feel at home
If they spent a lifetime learning
How to live in Rome

Reggie Rag

2007-01-26T04:40:00.000-08:00

Gather 'round my friends and listen clear
'Cause we got a new dance for you my dear
It's called the Reggie Rag you know
In honor of him taking all that dough.

Kick those heels, make that flip
Reggie's family take another dip
For more bucks out of an agent's bag
Now we're doing the Reggie rag.

Live rent free in a mansion sweet
Cause we love your hands and feet
As they race to score once more
For ol' USC and agents galore.

Is it illegal, do we care?
That's a Heisman he's carrying there
And don't forget the championships
Courtesy of Reggie's elusive hips.

So kick those heels, make that flip
Reggie's family takes another dip
For more bucks out of an agent's bag
Now we're doing the Reggie rag.

As a big fan of college football, situations like these really get to you because it weakens the sport. There is an issue that needs to be addressed as far as compensation for the players who basically can't work because the sport they play is their work. But for now rules are rules and to put your team's accomplishments into jeopardy is just insane. I guess I am wondering what happens to the Heisman if he is found guilty. I know the team will be stripped of its championship, but has anyone considered how that will affect Will Farrel? We it make him do another asinine movie? These are consequences we must all consider.

Oh Reggie...

Thursday 13 for 1/25/07

2007-01-25T04:32:00.000-08:00

13 Reasons I should be President in 2008

1. I can smooze with the best of 'em.

2. I can eat almost anything, except liver, lima beans and any pudding that looks like it might have been the result of a really bad cold. I would be able to attend any State dinner.

3. I am from Texas. (Not sure why that matters but it makes me happy to say it.)

4. I am a true believer of the Constitution. I don't want anyone messing around with it for any reason (and yes, that definitely includes the 2nd Amendment).

5. I am a student of history. I figure I can take the best tricks, uh, I meant methods, of the best presidents and apply them.

6. I don't know Dick Cheney. I also wouldn't let anyone go hunting with Dick Cheney.

7. I would have a diversified cabinet. I don't care about your race, sex, creed, etc. I just care if you can get the job done. As I am not a party man, there would be no agendas of either mainstream party, just the agenda of what is good for America.

8. I would push for more wind energy, solar energy, and tell the oil companies to kiss my hybrid.

9. My foreign policy would fairly easy. If you're French, forget it. If you're a true ally, we'll help you. If you are going to spit on our face, welp, save your own butt.

10. My stance on the war in Iraq is fairly simple.

11. I have four kids who don't mind challenging me on anything political and cover the spectrum of political thought. I am fairly sure they would keep me straight.

12. My State of the Union addresses would always start with thirty minutes from the Blue Collar Comedy team, just to keep folks interested to hear the important stuff. Might even insert them between points...

13. After four years, I would leave and go fishing, play with grandkids, and pull practical jokes on the SS detail assigned to me. I would only attend important funerals and would promise to stay off CNN, FOX News, and all the Sunday morning news shows.

The Disapproving Song

2007-01-23T05:07:00.000-08:00

I worked a charity event last night for my service club and couldn't help but notice a couple of older folks who were "looking down" at all of the kids coming in and out of the basketball arena. Statements like "did you see her? Pregnant and no wedding ring..." "Well what do you expect?" "Somebody is paying good money so they can act the fool..."

So in their honor, the disapproving song...

Hey, pregnant girl walking
Can't you hear us talking?
We see your belly hanging low
No wedding ring do you show
You're just another tragedy
Another social malady.

In judgment we sit mightily
Whispering our gossip spitefully
Pointing our fingers without risk
Shaking our heads, saying "Tsk, Tsk, Tsk."

Hey young men covered in paint
Covering areas your own clothes ain't
You play the fool while Daddy pays
I bet you lay around all day
Being another lazy tragedy
Happy to be a social malady.

In judgment we sit mightily
Whispering our gossip spitefully
Pointing our fingers without risk
Shaking our heads, saying "Tsk, Tsk, Tsk."

Hey kids, you should be like us
Balding and fat, making a fuss
Stuffing our faces while we judge
Wishing someone had brought fudge
But at least we ain't no tragedy
Or contributing to a social malady.

In judment we sit mightily
Whispering our gossip spitefully
Pointing our fingers without risk
Shaking our heads, saying "Tsk, Tsk, Tsk."

Judge on my friends, judge on. You're doing your generation proud.

(Yes, I know writing this post makes me just like them but hey, I sit in judgment mightily, writing my rantings spitefully, pointing my fingers without risk, shaking my head saying tsk, tsk, tsk...")

Another religious gimmick?

2007-01-21T16:11:00.000-08:00

Visited a church this morning with a friend and enjoyed the services but there is one thing that bugged me. In the middle of the sermon, they break away for a commercial promoting a self-discovery ministry called PLACE. Below is the description from their web site.

The P in PLACE is for Personality Discovery. Participants use the unique assessments to discover their Personality based on the DISC model. (Having taken this test and being rated a D, the ol' dominating personality, then I would assume my "place in ministry" will be dominating other folks. Cool, forget humility, domination is my gift and I need to be using it!)

The L represents Learning Spiritual Gifts. PLACE promotes a scripture-based, 16-gift model using our comprehensive 112 question assessment. (Well, this becomes a little more difficult since there really aren't any scriptures supporting domination tendencies, so maybe I will re-assess my gifts and go for something fun, like miracle making. We all could use that talent, right?)

The A stands for Abilities Awareness. Here, participants complete an assessment to discover the most effective environment for them to comfortably serve. (I find I work best in a football environment. Can I do all of my ministering at Buffalo Wild Wings with a basket of wings, cold drinks, and a game on the big tube?)

The C is for Connecting Passion with Ministry. PLACE’s unique curriculum helps Christians identify their passions for ministries and people, and discover how they best demonstrate passion. (You should see me at a football game, I get pretty passionate then. Does this mean I need to be spending all of my development at the local stadium? I could sure grow my passion there...)

The E in PLACE deals with Experiences of Life. This session allows individuals to explore the effects of their past experiences and how those experiences play a vital role in finding their place of service. (Hmm, maybe if I did all of this examinating at Buffalo Wild Wings I could really find those life experiences to match my passion. I am thinking I can skip the classes and go straight to BWW and start feeling my gifts grow.)

Okay, I am not much of a gimmick person. I didn't jump up and slap a WWJD bracelet on or even buy a Tshirt. I sure didn't buy into the Prayer of Jabez, or even got excited over the 40 Days...

Perhaps if folks would spend more time serving the hurting, poor, hungry, and sick instead of wasting all our time trying to figure out our purpose, our talent, our whatever the hot item is, maybe we would actually make progress in our communities.

Now excuse me, I think I need to go explore my gifts at BWW.

The Oscars!

2007-01-21T15:58:00.000-08:00

I know the Oscar nominations are coming out on Tuesday and being an avid movie watcher I should weigh in and make some predictions of who I think will get nominated... Okay, I haven't seen any of the films that are the buzz, but having watched a few trailers, reading a few reviews, and listening to folks talk about them, I am going to venture a totally non-educated guess that is based upon pure calculated wild guessing.

Best Picture - I am going with Little Miss Sunshine (I actually did see this one and loved it...) I am thinking probably Dreamgirls or Departed will probably win.

Best Actor - Leonardo DiCappicino... I think he is due.

Best Actress - Meryl Streep for The Devil Wears Prada. Her other six are so lonely...

Best Supporting Actor - Eddie Murphy will probably get it for Dreamgirls and I'm cool with that but I am hoping it is Steve Carrell from Little Miss Sunshine.

Best Supporting Actress - Hmm, I will pick Meryl Streep for this category for A Prairie Home Companion. No, it isn't that great of a movie but she sure was cute in it.

Best Director - Clint Eastwood for Flags of our Fathers. Hey, I like Clint and anytime you can give Dirty Harry another piece of hardware, you should do it.

Best Song - Did anyone use a Nitty Gritty Dirt Band song this year? What? No? Then this category really doesn't matter, does it?

I know that probably none of these picks will even make the nomination but since I am just whistling in the dark and have already admitted total ignorance, then I will feel like a genius if any of them make it. A genius!

It was a good date...

2007-01-21T15:56:00.000-08:00

Okay, I know some of you are dying to know how the date went. It was great!

I think I will leave it at that...

Engaged!

2007-01-19T05:50:00.000-08:00

Slvr is engaged, officially! You can go to her blog and read all about it. You would think this would get easier for fathers... hmm.

A Dreary Day

2007-01-19T05:42:00.000-08:00

This morning is one of those mornings when the temptation to crawl back under the covers is strong. The weather is miserable, the air is damp, and a dreariness is draped over the skyline, bringing me back to the desire to bury myself under the covers. If I had a fireplace, I would light a fire... if I had a chance to hop a plane to someplace where the sun was shining, I think I would.

But no. Obligations beckon me to get up, get dressed, and hit the bricks. I guess I will spend the day doing what I am supposed to but deep in my heart I will be envying some lucky sap who is waking up to a brilliant sunrise, the bright sky caressing his psyche, filling his day full of hope.

No, I'm not depressed but dreary days make me sad. Sigh.

Thirteen Things About My Life Today

2007-01-18T05:34:00.000-08:00

January 18, 2007

1. The temperature outside has finally risen above freezing. What a treat, we are at 33 degrees and should hit the forties today...only to have another front hit tonight that will bring more ice and snow, keeping us frozen into next week.

2. I have a date for Saturday night... if it doesn't get frozen out from all the predicted moisture. I hope not... sigh.

3. Had a chance to spend some time with two of the Ho's yesterday. What a great time and wonderful reminder of how precious friendship is. They kept me laughing, a good thing!

4. Slvr called last night to tell me the Boy had officially proposed and she had officially accepted. Congrats!

5. Talked with my mom and dad last night for an hour or so. They are doing much better and are in great spirits because they are finally getting past some of the pain, the bones are mending nicely, and they are half way through with their six weeks of no activity.

6. Talked with my oldest daughter, Cryss, last night and we had some lively conversation about so many different topics. We ended the conversation with what each other was cooking for supper; she was making a vegan taco salad (soy bean meat? oh please, kill me...) and I was making bisquits and gravy. I know my cardiologist would love my meal more...

7. I did all this talking on my new Blue Tooth! Yeah, finally got it in! It was a gift from my kids for Christmas. I love it! It is great to be hands free in the car.

8. Must remember to keep the cell phone with me when chatting on the Blue Tooth as it tends to disconnect when you walk out of range of the phone.

9. We have new computers in the office. I am still trying to get files and such transferred but they are exceptionally fast with fantastic RAM and processors! It is so great to work with 21st century equipment!

10. I have been fighting allergies. I am so ready for the cedars to stop popping!

11. I am reading a book called "First Break All the Rules." Good stuff!

12. Planning on cleaning the house top to bottom on Saturday morning. Purchased cleaning supplies from Wally World late last night and was thinking... "If you are getting excited about house cleaning then maybe you need a little more excitement in your life..."

13. Hmm, this is my first Thursday Thirteen that is just about what is going on in my life. It wasn't as painful as I thought it would be.

Happy TT everyone!

Interview with a resistance fighter

2007-01-17T05:52:00.000-08:00

I walked down the snow covered ally looking for the dock bay my mysterious phone caller had directed me to. Stepping over frozen garbage and sidestepping a mangy cat, I arrived at the slightly slanted incline that led to a half raised sliding door. Glancing down at my notes and confirming this was the place I call out, "Mr. X?"

"Shhh, man, keep it low. There are people out there who would love to take me out." I could barely make out an image inside the gloomy interior of an abandoned warehouse.

"Oh, sorry. My bad. Can I come inside?"

"Sure, come on in. You will have to slide under the door. You might want to watch your clothes though, this floor ain't the cleanest." I pull myself up onto the dock bay and roll under the door. Standing up I glance around at a warehouse full of pallets, boxes filled with scrap parts from ancient pieces of long dead machinery. Mr. X glances around with me and then smiles, "It ain't much, but it is home to the Freedom Allows Guys to Smoke resistance movement. We meet here several times a day to light one up, plan our strategy for defeating the smoking ban and Sally Klingerman. That woman and her hoarde of second hand smoke alarmists are Satan's own creation. They can't die from lung cancer quick enough as far as the Freedom movement is concerned."

I am scribbling down this information furiously when I pause to look up at Mr. X. "You realize your acronym spells FAGS, right?"

"Yeah, I came up with that one myself. Kinda catchy, ain't it? FAGS are cigarettes in London so it is a play on words. When people see us walking down the street with a cigarette burning brightly as we inhale that glorious nicotine enriched smoke, they are going to point at us and say, 'Hey, there goes a bunch of FAGS!' Wait, that doesn't sound quite right."

"This is Texas you know, and FAGS doesn't quite mean the same here."

Mr. X had a puzzled look on his face as he shook out a Marlboro from a hard pack, scrounged around in the front pocket of his jeans, produced a lighter and lit his cigarette. "I think we might be changing the name for our resistance movement."

As he pulled on his cigarette, I took a mental inventory of Mr. X. His wrinkled face seemed to be permanently drawn into a thoughtful pose as his nicotine stained fingers held the cigarette against his lips. He was slight in build almost to the point of being scrawny. The greasy hair that graced his head was slowly fading from a jet black to a salt and pepper phase and the thick glasses resting on his nose seem to scream for a good cleaning.

"So tell me Alan, what is the overall strategy of the smoking ban resistance movement? Do you have a plan? How organized are you guys?"

"Well, hey wait a minute, how did you know my name?"

"You forgot to take off your Wal-Mart nametag... and you also have it monogrammed onto your Wal-Mart vest. So are you guys organized or are you just meeting here to smoke in a semi-public way to make a statement against a city wide smoking ban?"

He snatched the name tag off of his vest and took a moment to reverse the vest so that all I could see was "nalA" which was to throw me off of the track. I was beginning to question his intelligence.

"We are organized! We meet here four times a day, before work starts, during lunch, during our afternoon breaks, and after work. We talk and plan on how we can take out the evil smoking ban woman, Sally Klingerman. We have a few ideas we are working on."

"So basically you guys are taking smoking breaks and sitting around in this abandoned warehouse, out of sight, out of the public eye, smoking cigarettes and shooting the bull. Is that about right?"

"No, it is much more than that! Why we have even taken action against the city and Klingerman. Last Friday night we drove by her house and threw empty cigarette packs onto her lawn and stuck a sign into the ground that said, 'Americans are free to get cancer if they want to!'"

"Well that is a catchy phrase, I guess. How many FAGS are there?"

"Our numbers are increasing daily. We started off with four of us and we have grown over the past two weeks to six. We are just the beginning and invision a day when we will have the largest group of FAGS in the state."

"Six guys. Hmm, so basically you litter, post signs, and smoke in private with five other guys. Help me out here Alan, I don't see much of a resistance movement."

"It's Mr. X and if you can't see the upswelling of discontent between these walls then you must have already been blinded by the propaganda of the second hand smoke machine. Get out of here, you make me sick."

"Okay, I'll leave but I have to tell you I really don't have much of a story here. Call me back when you have 20 guys and you've changed your name. Somehow I don't think my editor will buy a headline that reads 'A Bunch of FAGS Caught Smoking in Abandoned Warehouse.'"

"You make us sound so dirty! Get out!"

So I did. I slipped back under the door, made my way out of the ally and stepped out into the parking lot of Wal-Mart. Breathing deeply, I embraced the fresh air of carbon monoxide infused molecules produced from petro-chemical driven vehicles and smiled knowing that the second hand smoke of cigarettes wouldn't be touching me today.

Honoring a Gentle Giant

2007-01-16T05:54:00.000-08:00

Today I will be officiating a memorial service for a friend who has been released from his suffering. A successful man by anyone's standards, he was able to work 40 years for the same company, climb the corporate ladder, and end his working career in a job he absolutely loved. While talking with his family and looking over the awards he received during his career, it was obvious the greatest acheivements of this man were not accomplished in the oil field, but in his life outside of the petroleum world.

He was a gentle man and a loving father. Walking and living among alcoholics, he was the refuge for so many of his family during the periods of stormy conflict. He constantly kept busy helping others, fixing up places, finding another project to keep people involved in to help them in their own personal growth.

He spent his retirement years building camps for kids, churches for poor communities, or helping out his own children and grandchildren. The kindness and gentleness he brought to so many is apparant by the happiness of so many that he was finally released from Lewisbody Disease, a long slow deterioration of the mind.

Much like its cousin Alzheimers, this disease brings on aggression, regression, and cessation of sociatal controls. For the last four years his family has watched his demeanor change, to see the frustration in his face as he realized he was slowly slipping from reality. Words he never would have spoken came from his lips, angry thoughts expressed, and for the first time in his 80+ years, a form of meaness was expressed. He ceased to be the man they knew and loved and became a victim of a terrible transforming illness.

Today we will celebrate his healthy years, the years full of warm memories from his compassionate gentleness... the years when he was the refuge, not the conflict.

Ice

2007-01-14T17:57:00.000-08:00

We are iced in for a few days. The roads have been bad enough for plenty of wrecks but not bad enough to totaly shut down the town. I was worried for the kids as they headed back to school but they made it just fine. I am thinking being iced in isn't all that bad as it has been a chance to sit back and relax, catch up on some writing and reading, plus just kicking back and watch some football.

I did get a healthy dose of humility when I went to the gun show and slipped on the ice. Did a nice heels over head back flop, much to the delight of other gun nuts who were making their way into the building. Didn't hurt anything but my pride but luckily I did get a score of 9.3 for style and technical form from the laughing judges. Hey if you are going to make a fool out of yourself, do it with style, right?

So tonight I will curl up under the covers and watch Monk, maybe the Hula Bowl later. Yuppers, just laying here and enjoying the ice...

The Blessing...

2007-01-14T17:38:00.000-08:00

So there we were in the kitchen, my daughter's boyfriend and me, working on making ratones when he asked,

"Can I ask you something personal?" Hmm, now that can be a loaded question because when someone requests to ask you something personal you immediately think they are about to ask you something... well, personal.

"Sure. Fire away."

"I would like to propose to Slvr but would like to have your blessing first."

"Sure, you have my blessing."

"Do you have any reservations?"

Hmm, now another loaded question has been laid down because what father doesn't have reservations about any lad who comes to ask for his daughter's hand in marriage? Add to that list of reservations a healthy dose of cynicism and you have a roadmap to a disastrous conversation in which no one is going to come back in one piece.

"One day when you have a daughter you will understand that there will always be reservations when it comes to your child. Fortunately I trust Slvr and her decisions so we don't need to go into my reservations."

Afterwards we had a good discussion about dating, marriage, etc. I was shown the ring the next day before they left for school. He hasn't officially proposed yet but he does have my blessing, something he didn't have to ask for but I appreciate his asking anyway.

Tax Time

2007-01-12T06:11:00.000-08:00

I will be attending a tax seminar today and tomorrow so I can once again be qualified to give free tax services to the people we serve. We will do all basic 1040's for free, file them, and make sure the refunds are put in the proper bank/savings account or delivered to the folks' home.

What does that mean? It means it is time to do some IRS lovin' baby!

Things I Learned from Leadership Class

2007-01-12T05:55:00.000-08:00

I am in a Leadership class sponsored by the local Chamber of Commerce which means every month I am spending a Thursday being educated by a different segment of our city. Yesterday we learned about the Healthcare Community. So here is what I learned am now passing on to you as sage advice or simple observations.

1. Health care costs are high and will continue to rise at twice the rate of inflation.

2. There are 47 million uninsured people in America. 12 million of them live in Texas. Wow, it is sooooo cool to be #1 in something... isn't it? Everyone should move to Texas immediately to be a part of this wonderful trend.

3. The State of Texas spends more money on healthcare issues than it does on education which means we want to be a healthy ignorant people. Hey, you can come to Texas and enjoy a marvelous level of healthy ignorance.

4. There are some pretty impressive pieces of technology out there. The demonstration at the cancer center on how they isolate a brain tumor and ensure they don't radiate the wrong part of the brain was mind boggling...to say the least. I wonder if they can perform lobotomies with the radiation technology?

5. All that technology is expensive but fortunately they can pass the cost onto us, the consumer.

6. Hospitals do not like insurance companies. Nay, they hate, despise, abhor and hold them in utter contempt.

7. There is a nursing shortage in this nation. Hmm, I always thought it was a woman's perogative on whether she wanted to breast feed or not. Oh well, what do I know?

8. Larva therapy is pretty cool. The use of maggots to aid with chronic open wounds is amazing. It seems they are working on developing a better maggot. They should check out the Texas A&M football team and coach... I think they will find three excellent maggots there.

9. Hospital's overcharge to cover the non-paying folks. Insurance companies underpay the procedures. The insured worker is then treated to a double whammy of having health care costs stuck to them. It is sort of a manage'a trois of financial rapists...with you being the unwilling third party.

10. The #1 important item I learned yesterday was.... DON'T GET SICK! It will kill you.

Thursday Thirteen for 1/11/07

2007-01-10T19:19:00.000-08:00

13 Favorite Movie Lines (I'll let you guess what movie they're from)

1. "That's bold talk for a one-eyed fat man."

2. "Put the bunny back in the box."

3. "I'm your huckleberry."

4. "Don't let your brain interfere with your heart."

5. "There's no fighting in the War Room!"

6. "You rush a miracle man, you get rotten miracles."

7. "There's no crying in baseball!"

8. "What we got here is a failure to communicate."

9. "If my answers frighten you then you should cease asking scary questions."

10. "Remember the turkey!"

11. "Are you boys gonna pull those guns are start whistlin' Dixie?"

12. "Badges, we don't need no stinkin' badges."

13. "I suppose the life of an anorexic duck doesn't amount to much in the broad scheme of things."

Have a great Thursday!

Gators Greedily Gobble Glory in Championship

2007-01-09T06:57:00.000-08:00

Welp, there you have it. The mighty Ohio State Buckeyes were plucked, peeled, and plastered all over the field as Florida gave them a butt stomping that would make a masochist flinch.

I think this game proves three things:

1. There is too much of a layover from the end of the season to the Championship Game.

2. We need a playoff system and it should be completed on January 1.

3. No matter what it looks like on paper, you have to play the game and after the last 7 years where the #2 has won six out of seven times, you would think folks would understand that one principle.

My hat is off to the Gators. They were impressive in their overwhelming of the Buckeyes in every phase of the game.

Step #9

2007-01-09T06:49:00.000-08:00

We discussed step #9 last night at Al-Anon, the fun little step where you make amends to those who you have harmed in word, thought, or deed. Amends taking the meaning of "a change" has now taken place in your behavior. This is not one of more favorite of the twelve steps since some are much easier to handle and do not require actual contact with other folks. However, I am thinking it is the most satisfying of the steps as it brings closure to past hurts and allows you to suture your wounds and begin the healing process.

Interestingly, I had a chance to work #9 yesterday with a person who had taken great delight in my past failures. It came in the form of a request from another person who knew this person was struggling with a painful situation. Against my better judgment I went and sat with them, talking out many of the painful conflicts that had occurred between us. It was two hours well spent and worth the time for me to make my amends with them, changing from having bitter thoughts to understanding the hard times they have been through. I would like to think yesterday provided release from bitterness on my part and began the rebuilding of a friendship I had missed.

Step #9 ain't easy, but the work is worth it.

Hunting Dialogue

2007-01-06T09:14:00.000-08:00

There I was, laying on a beach, wearing nothing but a smile and caressing the soft silky skin... of my journal as I penned the final words to a best seller when the definitive sound of the opening strains to Sweet Home Alabama break up the revelry.

"Mornin'"

"Just thought you would want to know an armed man is sitting in your driveway."

"Oh man, my alarm didn't go off. Give me five minutes."

"No problem. Maybe I'll see something while I'm waiting."

I move my mouse to glance at the temperature. Oh great, 37 degrees, 20 miles an hour wind. Not sure what that figures out to but I'm thinking the wind chill is in the 20's. I put on the ol' longjohns, thermal shirts, hunting jacket, gloves, and ski mask.

"Sheesh Pete, do you know how cold it is?"

"It's a bit chilly. Will make the deer move."

"Ya think? Somehow I think they'll be hunkered down staying warm. Warm would be the operative word there." We drive out to the place, get out and load our guns, start walking. Walking into the wind, I find the joy of trying to manuever through prickly pear and mesquites with fogged up glasses. We make a pass through one pasture, climb a fence, make a run through the next pasture, climb a fence, and finally finish when we have completed the distance of the place.

"We should go down by the creek bed and see if we can jump something up there."

"Uh sure, the creek bed. It can't be all that wet and cold." So I follow Pete to the creek bed and we start to make a pass. We decide I should be the one who actually slides down the creek bank and work my way up the creek. My first step takes me plummeting down the bank.

"Can you be a little more noisy down there?"

"I'm alright. Luckily the briars broke my fall and I'm pretty sure all the skin ripped off my face will grow back with minimal scarring."

"Are you gonna stay down there whinin' or are you gonna start hunting?"

We make it down the creek with only a few struggles to get through the briars. Coming out on the other side of the property, we decide we should circle back towards Pete's truck which means we traverse the whole place again and cross another three fences. The great part is my frontside is now thawing out while my backside is frozen.

The trip back is unsuccessful and as we unload our guns, strip off jackets and buckle up, I hear words of doom come across the cab.

"Wanna try again this afternoon. It is supposed to get up to 47 and the wind isn't supposed to be blowing more than 30 miles an hour." I'm thinking, "are you crazy?" but I hear, with great horror,

"Sure, I'll see you around 3:30."

No deer.

No sense.

No problem.

Sigh.

Parental Update

2007-01-05T22:47:00.000-08:00

Welpers, my dad had ankle surgery today and it went well. He is off his feet for at least six weeks but the good news is that he will be able to recuperate and hopefully not lose any strength in his legs.

My mom, broken toes and all, will be toughing it out until they are healed. However we are thrilled they are up and alive, a true blessing.

If Willy Shakespeare Were Writing Today

2007-01-04T22:37:00.000-08:00

If Willy Shakespeare wrote today
Tapping his faithful keyboard,
Just what would Willy have to say
That would fancy both rich and poor?
Would he write spine tingling thrillers
Or would he be a man of mystery?
Perhaps he would cast Ben Stiller
For the lead in his life's history.
I have no doubt he would produce
A play that would bring down the house.
Provided he could reduce
His temptations to plagerize Faust.

Of Relationships and Regrets

2007-01-04T22:12:00.000-08:00

One of the more painful experiences a parent has is watching their young enter into and exit from relationships. It doesn't matter the gender or the age, the pain they experience appears to be expotentially increased for the parental unit observing it. I have yet to feel anything burn worse than the tears of my child on my neck as I hug them close or more painful than the tortured looks brought on by their hearts breaking. Can anything stir your ire as quickly as seeing them hurt by another's insensitivity?

I would love to give them advice on how to protect their hearts, shroud their feelings, guarding against such relational inspired maiming but sadly I have nothing to give because when it comes to my past relationships... let's just say I wouldn't be batting cleanup.

Those failures of mine have been gracious enough to bring a truck load of regret along with them that keep me second guessing life, love, and relationships in general. However, to dwell in those regrets is die a rather slow inconsequential death that only lends itself to self pity and whining.

Luckily I have been blessed with a guide who has enlightened me on such matters. My mentor has shown me that when it comes to the affairs of the heart, to avoid pain through protecting and masking your own heart, you have robbed yourself of any chance to experience the best of life. Like baseball you can avoid the humiliation of striking out by never going to the plate to take a pitch... but by doing so you have cheated yourself out of the thrill of hitting one out of the park.

So I can only stand by and watch my offspring go to the plate of relationships and give it their best shot. They may strike out. They may only get to first base. They might even hit the big one and experience the euphoria of a true love, an actual soulmate.

As for the parental spectator, I guess all we can do is to be ready to applaud or comfort them when their time at the plate is through. That my friend is freakin' hard.

A Year in Review Meme

2007-01-03T20:44:00.000-08:00

Stole this from Beth's blog...

1. What did you do in 2006 that you'd never done before?
Got a divorce.

2. Did you keep your New Year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
Yes, I did! I resolved to watch football, smoke a cigar every now and again, and to blog at least once a week. Already have made more resolutions that I will be capable of keeping.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth or adopt?
Depends on how you define "birth"

4. Did anyone close to you die?
Yes.

5. What countries did you visit?
Yankee Land.

6. What would you like to have in 2007 that you lacked in 2006?
No debt.

7. What dates from 2006 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
February 14 (filed for divorce) May 8th (divorce final) June 3-8 (Vacation in Arizona mountains) July 4th (big event was a smashing success) December 15th.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Keeping the clubs flush and building towards operating in the black.

9. What was your biggest failure?
Hmm, is it failure if you learned from it?

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Nothing fatal...

11. What was the best thing you bought?
My Ipod

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
M's. He has really gained ground.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Hmm, I can't think of anyone off the top of my head.

14. Where did most of your money go?
Bills.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Arizona.

16. What song will always remind you of 2006?
It's Morning!

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder?
Happier, definitely.
b) thinner or fatter?
Unfortunately, fatter. But... I'm working on it.
c) richer or poorer?
Richer, but still poor.

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Fishing.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Moving.

20. How will you be spending Christmas?
Since Christmas is past, I guess I will say I spent it with my parents and two of the kids.

21. What was your favorite TV program?
The Office.

22. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
Nope

23. What was the best book you read?
Knowing Your Strengths

24. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Night at Woody Creek by the NGDB

25. What did you want and get?
The right staff in the right place to give the maximum performance in serving the kids we serve.

26. What did you want and not get?
A '68 Camero

27. What was your favorite film of this year?
Lucky # Slevin

28. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Ending the year with a year's operation cost in the bank.

29. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2006?
Business practical and comfortable.

30. What kept you sane?
Friends.

31. What celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Rene Zellwigger (hope I spelled her name correctly)

32. What political issue stirred you the most?
Iraq

33. Who did you miss?
Vince Young

34. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2006.
It is okay to delegate, micromanaging will kill you.

35. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
"If we're ever gonna see a rainbow, we have to stand a little rain" NGDB

Hmm, time warp

2007-01-03T20:41:00.000-08:00

Here it is Wednesday and I was so proud of myself this morning getting my Thursday Thirteen completed... and I realize I was a day early. Hmm... that probably means something but I'm not sure what.

I guess there will be no TT for Thursday afterall.

Sigh.

Wedding Bits

2007-01-03T06:30:00.000-08:00

I officiated a wedding for a young woman who I've known since she was born. Weddings are wonderful places to find blogging material and this one wasn't any different. So here are some of the favorite quotes or scenes taken in during the wedding....

"Man, we should've checked the hog traps before we came up here. I think we had time." (Groom to a groomsman "Uh, it is your wedding day and wouldn't it be the pits to have to decide whether you want to take this really nice pig or try to get to the church in time for the wedding?")

"Now when you attend formal occasions such as this, check out the room first to find all the good looking guys but remember, sometimes the ugly ones are the ones with the money." (Advice from a mom to her preteen daughter..."I'm thinking someone should warn all the preteen boys about this one.")

"Hey, this isn't a race and I'm wearing heels. Slow down or go down that aisle by yourself!" (one frustrated bridesmaid... "Let 'em have it sister! Slap him twice to get his attention!")

"Should someone pick up the veil?" (said by a bridesmaid after the bride lost her long gauzy trail covering...I'm thinking, "Yeah, someone should since all of you have to walk over it to leave the auditorium.")

All in all it was a great wedding. The Groom and groomsmen were in faded blue jeans and white shirts (some patterned, some just plain white shirts) with athletic shoes. The Bride was in a traditional dress and her bridesmaids were in fancy gowns. It looked a bit different but what mattered was the two folks getting married were happy and had a great time. The reception was sandwiches and fruit, the cakes were red velvet and German chocolate.

Best part of the wedding was being accompanied by Slvr and getting a chance to chat with her during the reception. I always think a wedding without gun play or bloodshed is a good wedding.

Thursday 13 for 1/3/07

2007-01-03T06:19:00.000-08:00

Thirteen Favorite Singer(s) or Groups

I love my Ipod and having an Ihome in the office sure allows me to listen to my favs and here are just 13 singers or groups you are likely to hear when you enter the office this week...

1. Nitty Gritty Dirt Band

2. Lynard Skynard

3. Alison Krause and Union Station

4. Clannad

5. The Eagles (I also have Don Henley and Joe Walsh playing solo stuff)

6. Chicago

7. Kansas

8. The Cranberries

9. Nora Jones

10. Bob Segar

11. Billy Joel

12. Enya

13. Joanie Madden

New Year's Resolutions

2007-01-01T06:52:00.000-08:00

Once again Frustrated resolves to do the following:

I resolve to eat right. Yuppers, eat only those really tasty foods soaked in butter.

I resolve to speak only kind words about everyone... on every day that ends in Z.

I resolve to find the Blue Bird of Happiness and barbecue that sucker.

I resolve to enjoy my life, my kids, my work, and my friends.

I resolve to blog at least once a week.

I resolve to not break any of these resolutions for at least 24 hours. Now where can I find that Blue Bird of Happiness?

Happy New Years!

2007-01-01T06:44:00.000-08:00

The ball has fallen
The champagne drunk
A New Year's callin'
We're minus one skunk.
I hope it's good
I hope you're happy
You know you should
Avoid all that's crappy.
So we get
Another shot at life
But it's a safe bet
There will be some strife.
But I hope you escape
From the worst of it all
Taking life by the nape
And shake it till it squalls.

Happy New Year everybody!

Plumbing Blues

2006-12-30T06:45:00.000-08:00

So I'm putting in the kids' Christmas present to their mother and horror of horrors, the job that should take two hour max ends up taking all day. Plumbing never comes easy and sure enough, one pipe breaks, another is weak, and before you know it I am revamping all of the pipes underneath the house.

This morning I am sore from bumps, scratches, and having been in positions that would have made a yoga guru proud.

So a poem is bubbling out... I just feel it!

Why is it that projects simple
Seldom work out like we plan
And become the proverbial pimple
On the butt of frustrated man?

I offer you plumbing
As an example quaint
Cause it is quite numbing
When what should be, ain't.

Chasing one problem after another
You find your project grows
And you'll be crying "mother"
Fighting your plumbing woes.

So what is the lesson taught
As you are feeling dumber?
You should do as you ought
Spend the bucks, pay a plumber.

A Bit of Relief

2006-12-30T06:35:00.000-08:00

My parents were in a serious wreck last night. At the time of this writing they have been checked over and my dad has a chipped ankle and a sprained wrist while my mom has six broken toes and they are running xrays of her chest.

They were the lucky ones.

The car that they hit was out of control and sliding across the bridge when they hit them broadside. One woman, not buckled in, died at the scene. Another is not expected to live through the night. The driver is in serious condition too.

The kicker. The folks they hit were heading to a drug pickup (they left messages on their cell phones) and the driver is looking at two counts of manslaughter.

As for my parents, I am so grateful they are in as good as shape as they are in. I can only imagine what thoughts are going through their minds and I know they will be hurting for some time. For the folks in the other car, I am sympathetic to their families. I hate the fact they were engaged in the activity that had them out on an icy road and that those who live will never be the same.

It just reminds that in a blink of an eye our lives can be transformed forever.

Hanging Out with Saddam

2006-12-30T06:30:00.000-08:00

So you've had your trial
You've made your peace
And in a little while
Your life will cease.
So at the end
Of a new rope
Your nation will send
Up cheers of hope.
So Mr. Butcher of Bagdad
As you drop through
We won't be sad
To be rid of you.
While scholars are debating
I must secretly confess
I hope the 70 virgins waiting
All have PMS.

Thirteen Things to Do on the Thursday After Christmas

2006-12-28T08:41:00.000-08:00

Take down the Christmas tree.
Drink the last bit of egg nog, double strength.
Pack away decorations
Sip some of the nog, minus the egg.
Put all of the furniture back into place.
Forget the nog, go straight to double shots of bourbon.
Start writing the thank you notes.
Purchase more bourbon.
Sort through the Christmas bills.
Work on interesting mixtures with vodka, bourbon, and rum.
Vacuum the floor.
Sip on the concoction you recently created
Hope you don't fall into the neatly packed decorations...

A Christmas Blessing

2006-12-25T01:39:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas everyone!

May the day be blessed
May you find a bit of peace
May you be free of stress
And may anxieties cease.

May you be surrounded
By family and friends
And may you not be pounded
By the Christmas blues fiends.

May you end this day
With a contented sigh
And may your head lay
With loved ones near by.

Merry Christmas from Frustrated and mi familia!

May The Man in the Red Suit be Good to Ya!

2006-12-24T15:14:00.000-08:00

Just a quick "Merry Christmas!" to all my friends, blogging buddies, and family. May the big guy in red be kind to you!

Taking some time off...

2006-12-22T05:12:00.000-08:00

Next week I am actually going to take three to four days off from work. I am so looking forward to having the time to sit back and chill with the kids, my parents, and a few of my siblings. It will be a blessed break from the long hours and hard pressed days.

I hope all of you get the same opportunity!

So in celebration of those days away, a poem.

I Ain't Gonna Be There

Don't call me at work
Thinking you will get me
'Cause I have a perk
Called "days off" you see.
I'll be kickin' back
Sippin' coffee and such
Losing complete track
Not thinking about much.
So if you search for moi
Wanting my time so rare
Don't look at work Francois
'Cause I ain't gonna be there.

Taking careful aim, Frustrated slams a shot into the wrong goal...

2006-12-22T05:05:00.000-08:00

Took the kids out for pizza and air hockey last night. It was one of those moments when a dad and his kids take out some quality time to learn those important lessons of life; dads rule when it comes to air hockey so come along and get your butt waxed.

I know, I know, I should be easy on them because it is Christmas. I want you to know I had promised to keep the gloating to a minimum and wouldn't even tell people how badly I beat them until...

Until...

Until... they whipped me like a red headed step child. I couldn't win a game to save my life. Three times we played me against the both of them and I would have demanding three point leads (6-3 in a seven point game) only to watch them come back and win. Twice I hit the shot that ricocheted back into my own goal. Jman was quick to add that I had indeed hit the winning shot...sigh.

So I'm thinking maybe I should've talked to them about the meaning of Christmas and the reason we should all give and not worry about the receiving the adulation of the air hockey masses during this special time of the year.

Nah, I will just wax them next time.

Yes, there will be a next time!

Crank it up!

2006-12-22T05:00:00.000-08:00

Christmas is getting close and it is time to crank it up! Woohoo!

All the Christmas parties are over at the clubs and everything went oh so smoothly. Yesterday big grants came in that I was waiting for and that is like, yeah baby! Now today I will play Santa for the last time this year and deliver gifts to the folks who have mental retardation at a local state facility. They really enjoy the jolly old man in the red suit so it will be a thrill.

Saturday I have my two friends over from the same facility to have Christmas with them and my kids at my house. This will be such a kick and I am happy my kids are so eager to share with them.

Last minute shopping sprees...

Embracing the call of Wally World at 2 a.m.

Oh baby, it is definitely time to crank it up!

Thirteen Things I Believe About Christmas

2006-12-21T06:22:00.000-08:00

I believe Santa Clause should be witty, fun, and a pleasant experience for the kids.
I believe if the child is terrified and doesn't want to sit in a strange man's suit, especially if he is wearing a fake wig, hair, and a smarmy red suit, then you shouldn't make them.
I believe kids are getting more and more cynical about Christmas. Wonder where that comes from...?
I believe Christmas music is great stuff. They should play it all year.
I believe the chestnuts have roasted over the open fire long enough. Time to bury that song.
I believe singing to a Christmas Tree is fairly close to singing to a fire hydrant. Neither one makes sense to me.
I believe adults who sit on Santa's lap and ask for a) husband b) girl/boy friend or c) fiance' are probably destined to live sad lonely lives.
I believe fruitcakes should be labeled as hazardous materials.
I believe Salvation Army bell ringers who harass shoppers probably don't get the same amount of donations as the quieter ones who graciously say, "thank you" when you toss money into the pot.
I believe Rudolph is a prima donna and most likely a cross dresser.
I believe people are more generous at Christmas and that is a good thing. I wish they would stay that generous all year.
I believe that the spirit of Christmas does exist, most often in the hearts of small children or the elderly.
I believe everyone should pause for a few minutes, enjoying a moment of quiet reflection on the true meaning of Christmas, and then in the spirit of generosity, write the ol' Frustrated a rather large check. Money orders and cash are also accepted.

Merry Christmas Ya'll!

Last Call

2006-12-19T07:17:00.000-08:00

Sorry I haven't been able to post lately but life is past crazy with activities... just yesterday afternoon I had five events to get to within two hours... aaayyyyeeeeee!

Anyhoo, I am sending out the Christmas Stories so if you haven't emailed me your address, do it today! I need to get them off by tomorrow.

Have a great Tuesday!

Another reminder

2006-12-13T23:01:00.000-08:00

Don't forget, if you want a Frustrated Christmas story delivered to your doorstep then you need to email me your mailing address.

Also, for this year only, I will send to first time recipients my book of Christmas stories I wrote my kids when they were younger. I will even autograph it for you so your parokeets can have an original Frustrated autograph to defecate on after you have perused the book. For that matter I will send a book to anyone who requests one.

You can send your mailing address to: derrickhallwithcowsandmolly@yahoo.com

There is no charge for either. It will let me get rid of the few copies I have left.

Singing Voicemails

2006-12-13T22:59:00.000-08:00

Okay, my kids think I've lost it but this holiday season I am singing my voicemails to Christmas tunes. Call me strange, eccentric, or just plain nuts but I consider it my small part to spread a little Christmas cheer. Besides, I find so many people like to sing their message back to me... so it is like a musical in the making.

Thursday Thirteen 12/14/06

2006-12-13T22:40:00.000-08:00

Thirteen Things You Shouldn't Say to Kids When You Are Playing Santa...

I saw the naughty list kid and this year I will be taking toys back from you...
Nope, there aren't any elves at the North Pole any more. I replaced them with Malaysian sweat shop laborers.
Wow, you're lucky Santa doesn't care if you're ugly or not.
Yeah so I told Ms. Claus, "Hey, I can't be taking viagra the day before I have to go down all those chimneys!"
An Xbox 360? Yeah you and a million other kids want one. Tell your parents to try Ebay.
Hey kid, this year skip the cookies and milk. Leave a shot of bourbon and beef jerky, okay?
Sorry kid, we are out of Bratz dolls. I do have a rather nice collection of blow up dolls...
Man, that Rudolph is such a ho...
Wanna pull Santa's finger?
Sheesh, I think Santa needs to bring someone here a bar of soap for Christmas.
You saw me over at the mall? Really? I wasn't at the mall, I was right here. Go tell that fake s.o.b. to stop impersonating me, okay?
Yeah, I was kissing your mommy under the mistletoe last night and let me tell you kid, it wasn't all that great.
You don't have a chimney? Whew, that's another house I can mark off the list.

May Santa Bring You Peace for Christmas

2006-12-13T08:12:00.000-08:00

I was pulling into an empty lane of traffic when a SUV, hundreds of yards down the road, accelerates, begins to honk its horn, and continues the incessant honking until they catch up with me, 20 seconds later, pulls along side of me, gives me dirty looks, and then continues its honking as the SUV demon speeds up, whips in front of me, and then tailgates everyone in front of her.

Okay, if you want to be the Christmas Ass, then by all means, do it. If you are in that much of a hurry to get to McDonald's to feed your face, then hey, act the fool, put everyone's life at risk because you, after all, have an SUV which makes you THE INTIMIDATOR when you run down small cars. It is all about you and the world should revolve around your selfish, small minded, megomaniacal whims.

For you, oh speed demon, I hope this year Santa climbs down your chimney and leaves you something special... something to give you peace of mind... or at least to tone down the rage you obviously are experiencing. Valium comes to mind as a rather nice present but it would truly only be effective if you took the whole bottle at one time, washing it down with a pint of whiskey. If that isn't fast enough for you, I could think of some other mind blowing treatments that will deliver that all self serving peace you obviously need.

I hope Santa comes early before you kill someone.

Good Gracious Gracie, Grab Gobs of Gifts!

2006-12-11T19:34:00.000-08:00

I was able to deliver my first set of Christmas presents today; picture frames for the Ho's with our picture in them. It was good to have a moment to enjoy watching them open their presents and I was appreciative they didn't toss them into the trash until after I left the building.

Life is good.

So what do you do with the unwanted gift? I find this is a dilemma some folks really struggle with, especially those who don't utilize such gifts for target practice. Hmm, I always give mine to charity and let them worry about it. I have to admit there is seldom a gift I don't like since someone took the time to pick something out for me (okay, the suspicious 7-11 tags on some of them have made me pause for just a moment and wonder how much they actually thought about the gift...) so why wouldn't I like it?

I guess if I had to choose the most unusual and bad gift it would be an old license plate given to me. Yup, an old license plate from some foreign country (I think it was from New Mexico) that had no meaning at all to me. I'm thinking it was one of those moments when the gifter was cleaning out his garage and thought, "What the heck? I really need to get rid of this old thing but hate to throw it away... I know, I'll give it to Frustrated!" Well, Frustrated wasn't all that thrilled with it but I did find it made a fabulous target...

So what is the one gift you wanted to take a shot at?

Character Defects

2006-12-11T19:15:00.000-08:00

The meeting tonight had us discuss Step #7 where you humbly admit your character defects and ask the Higher Power to remove them. Hoo boy, admitting to a group of people that you have character flaws... especially when I'm pretty sure I am just a shade off of that level of perfection most humans lust after. Okay, make that a whole lot of shades off that level, but still, having to expose yourself to the group is rather risky but hey, why go if you aren't in for a penny, in for a pound?

"Wulp... my character defect I'm working on is bitterness and frankly, I'm a bit bitter I am still having to work on it..."

There, I got it out in the open. Whew, my turn is over and I can just relax and listen to everyone else. Wait, they want to go around again and mention another character defect? What? My bitterness isn't good enough for you, you want more? Sheesh, what slave drivers!

"Okay, I have a fear of failure that drives me to be controlling at times..." Whew, that wasn't so bad. I hope I passed their litmus test...

Double sheesh.

More Christmas Carols...

2006-12-10T21:57:00.000-08:00

These Christmas lyrics are from Sarah McLauchlan and her CD Wintersong... I think she captures how sad Christmas time can be for some folks... yeah, almost depressing. I like the songs and the style she uses so I'm postin' 'em! (Please don't go sucking on a .44 after reading them...)

"River"

It's coming on Christmas
They're cutting down trees
They're putting up reindeer
And singing songs of joy and peace
Oh I wish I had a riverI could skate away on
But it don't snow here
It stays pretty green
I'm going to make a lot of money
Then I'm going to quit this crazy scene
I wish I had a riverI could skate away on
I wish I had a river so long
I would teach my feet to fly
Oh I wish I had a riverI could skate away on
I made my baby cry
He tried hard to help me
You know, he put me at ease
And he loved me so naughty
Made me weak in the knees
Oh I wish I had a riverI could skate away on
I'm so hard to handle
I'm selfish and I'm sad
Now I've gone and lost the best baby
That I ever had
Oh I wish I had a riverI could skate away on
I wish I had a river so long
I would teach my feet to fly
Oh I wish I had a river
I made my baby say goodbye
It's coming on Christmas
They're cutting down trees
They're putting up reindeer
And singing songs of joy and peace
I wish I had a riverI could skate away on

"Song For A Winter's Night"
[Written and first sung by Gordon Lightfoot in 1975]

The lamp is burnin' low upon my table top
The snow is softly fallin'
The air is still within the silence of my room
I hear your voice softly callin'
If I could only have you near
To breathe a sigh or two
I would be happy just to hold the hands I love
Upon this winter night with you
The smoke is rising in the shadows overhead
My glass is almost empty
I read again between the lines upon the page
The words of love you sent me
If I could know within my heart
That you were lonely too
I would be happy just to hold the hands I love
Upon this winter night with you
The fire is dying now, my lamp is growing dim
The shades of night are liftin'
The mornin' light steals across my windowpane
Where webs of snow are driftin'
If I could only have you near
To breathe a sigh or two
I would be happy just to hold the hands I love
And to be once again with with you
To be once again with with you

Catching up on photos

2006-12-10T06:31:00.000-08:00

Thought I would post some photos I had in the ol' camera and haven't printed yet...

This one is what the Texas Panhandle looks like north of Amarillo. Funny, when you are heading home and you cross over into Texas to see this sight, it is rather heartwarming. I think Panhandle folks probably are the only folks who can appreciate the desolateness of the Panhandle but hey, it is the only way you can survive.

Sorry about this one being on it's side but I'm in a hurry and don't have to time to fix it. This is Jman doing the ice skating thing. He is an excellent skater, unlike his pop who prays he can make it around the rink without breaking something...

This is a night shot of the flag field that was put up in front of my office building for the Veteran's Day weekend. I know the light blurs are a bit distracting but I liked the look of the pic and decided to keep it...

Hope everyone has a great Sunday.

First Annual Ho Xmas Dinner

2006-12-10T06:14:00.000-08:00

I used to work with the best bunch of cow0rkers ever and we called ourselves the Ho's. No, the three women here were the original Ho's and I was later brought into the group as a Ho when one of the original Ho's moved on to bigger and better things (no pun intended).

Since I have moved on from the previous place of employment we have tried to have lunch regularly (doesn't happen often enough) and so this year we planned the first Ho Xmas Dinner. The menu was Mexican food with Debbie Ho making two different types of enchiladas, Susan Ho bringing the guac, Cindy Ho supplying rice, pico, and roasted jalepenos, and the Frustrated Ho bringing Mexican Corn Casserole. We had Debbie Ho's daughter present to take the Ho pictures as she is a lot of fun and understands the Ho mentality. Thanks Amanda!

So here is the Christmas Ho pic... one of is our natural state and one with us just being ho's...

Timopheus

2006-12-09T03:00:00.000-08:00

Bright eyes, face swallowing grin, and spunky, Patrick Timothy came into the world with everything against him; the child of a raped mother, a victim of a rare disease, and a host of doctors saying he had no chance of surviving. On that December 8th the outlook for this sickly child was grim and most folks would've started to consider burial options but not the woman who was called in to be his foster mother. For her it was a chance to give a baby love even if the child's journey through this life was short.

We didn't see much of my mom the next six months as she spent every waking hour in the hospital with Tim, or "Timopheus", as she affectionately called him. He was frightening to look at; tubes running in and out of his head and he seemed so fragile but mom was confident he would be just fine. A trip to Galveston to see a specialist, a medical regimine prescribed and the little guy who shouldn't have lived through the night, much less the week, survived.

Survive doesn't seem adequate to describe his life because Tim thrived. When he finally got clear of hospital beds, he took off in his development. He walked, ran, and plunged headlong into the terrible twos. By the time he was three you couldn't seperate him from dad and for most of his life he was affectionately called "little Dale" by those of us who knew him best. He was the only brother who was brave (or should I say foolish) enough to run from dad when he was about to be punished. He could always have dad laughing so hard by the time he caught him I think the punishments were greatly diminished.

We watched him play football, work beside us, and finally find a joy in life in the form of his wife and in a career he loved. He was a great uncle, a wonderful brother, and one of the most compassionate men you would ever meet.

He enjoyed life for 32 years until the disease caught up with him and he died of adrenal failure, collapsing in a field outside of Friona, TX. He left a young widow, five brothers, two marvelous parents, a host of friends, and numerous nieces and nephews.

I know yesterday my mom wept for her "Timopheus" and I'm sure my dad went about his business with a heavy heart. He and my youngest brother Scott were such a blessing to them and even now Scott looks after them.

Speaking as a brother, I salute Tim and his short life. May we all learn to squeeze as much happiness out of life as he did in whatever time we are given upon this world.

Friday finally

2006-12-08T04:03:00.000-08:00

It is Friday morning, early, and I'm looking towards some quality writing time so I can finish up grants that are due today. A Board meeting at noon... Laundry to pick up... Lights to hang... Food to cook for a meal ... if that doesn't inspire poetry, nothing else will...

Friday Lament

Well it is Friday, my friend
A week of utter insanity
I hoped someone would extend
A chance to re-enter humanity.

People have demanded my time
Appointments out the wahzoo
I wonder if it would be a crime
If I snuck off and hung with you.

A moment to get away from it all
And let my mind wash clear
Of deadlines, reports and pitfalls
Just hanging with a friend so dear.

Oh well the clock is ticking
Another day of challenges to meet
But if I was doing the picking
Friday, we'd be hitting the street.

Hope your Friday and weekend are good ones!

Twisted Christmas Carols

2006-12-07T04:10:00.000-08:00

Today's submission for not often sung Christmas carols is from the Bob River's collection of twisted tunes... a couple of my favorities that are never heard on the radio...

Walking Around in Women's Underwear
by Bob Rivers

"Lacey things, the wife is missing.
Didn't ask, for her permission
I'm wearing her clothes, her silk panty hose.
Walking around in women's underwear.
In the store, there's a teddy.
With little straps, like spagetti.
It holds me so tight, like handcuffs at night.
Walking around in womens underwear
In the office there's a guy named Melvin.
He pretends that I am Murphy Brown.
He'll say "Are you ready?"
I'll say, "Woah man!
Lets wait untill the wife is out of town."
Later on, if you wanna,
We can dress, like Madonna.
Put on some eye shade, and join the parade.
Walking around in women's underwear.
Lacey things, missing.
Didn't ask, permission.
Wearing her clothes, silk panty hose.
Walking around in women's underwear.
Walking around in women's underwear.
Walking around in women's underwear......"

The Restroom Door Said Gentlemen
by Bob Rivers

The restroom door said gentleman so I just walked inside,
I took two steps and realized I've been taken for a ride.
I heard high voices, turned and found the place was occupied,
By two nuns, three old ladies and a nurse.
What could be worse?
Than two nuns, three old ladies and a nurse.

The restroom door said gentleman it must have been a gag,
As soon as I walked in there I ran into some old hag.
She sprayed me with a can of mase and smacked me with her bag,
I could tell, this wouldn't be my day.
What can I say?
It just wasn't turning out to be my day.

The restroom door said gentleman and I'd would like to find,
The crummy little CREEP who had the nerve to switch the signs.
'Cause I got two black eyes and one high heel up my behind,
Now I can't, sit with comfort and joy.
Boy oh boy.
Now I'll never sit with comfort and joy.

Staff Christmas Party

2006-12-07T04:02:00.000-08:00

We had our staff Christmas party last night and I am now the proud owner of:

A coffee mug (it will go nicely with the other hundred mugs I have)

A stress ball (this is actually a totally cool item)

Another rat to put on the wall of shame (oh this one is completely hideous)

A pipe cleaner snowflake.

I did come in third in our five minute pool tournament. Simple rules... five minute games and whoever is ahead at the end of the five minutes moves on to the next round. If you scratch, you automatically lose... I was three balls up when I scratched. Sigh.

Best part was getting to hang with the staff in a relaxed setting.

Hope everyone is having a great week...

Thursday Thirteen for December 7, 2006

2006-12-07T03:40:00.000-08:00

Thirteen Useful Applications for Fruitcake

I love the Christmas Season but will admit I am not fond of the scourge of the season, fruitcake. However, I have thought up 13 wonderful ways to use those fruitcakes that show up in the mail...

Use them as pavers for a nice colorful walk in your back yard.
Toss them at Impatient Grouches who honk in parking lots. It's Christmas. It's the Mall... It's gonna be busy...Have a fruit cake and Merry !$%#$)#^)* Christmas to you too!
Use them for target practice. Heaven knows they are indestructible.
Send them to Iraq so I soldiers can use them as weapons of mass destruction. Just the morale busting qualities of being given a fruitcake should have the insurgents surrendering in a week.
Use them to hold down tarps on windy days.
Use them for science fair projects and let the kids try to figure out what the green and orange lumps are inside of them.
Lay them down on busy streets and use them for speed bumps.
Take them on your next camping trip. I'm pretty sure they're combustible.
Use them as decoys in the airport. Security will be so busy trying to figure what kind of hideous device you were trying to take onto the plane that they'll never notice you taking shampoo that isn't inside a baggie.
Carry them when you are walking alone at night. You can brain muggers with them.
Have them all forwarded to your exes or their divorce lawyers. They took everything else so they definitely should have the fruitcakes too.
Hold on to them and send them back to the sender for their birthday. See how they like it.
Hollow them out to hide valuables in such as keys, cash, or jewelry. Believe me, if someone breaks into your home to burglarize it, the last thing they are going to look at or steal is the fruitcake.

More Favorite Not Often Played Christmas Carols...

2006-12-05T01:18:00.000-08:00

Today's Christmas carols come courtesy of the Nitty Gritty Dirt Band...

I really debated about posting the third song since it really brings out the pain of children at Christmas time because of divorce. As this is my first year in this situation I realize that Christmas won't be the same for the kids and so I am posting it because it is always better to confront those feelings the kids must have and not let my own personal pride get in the way.

Remember, if you want a Christmas card, email me your mailing address. Send it to derrickhallwithcowsandmolly@yahoo.com

First two are just good sing along songs...

"Colorado Christmas"
(S. Goodman)

Lookin' out the window of this Hollywood hotel
You'd never know that it was Christmas Eve
The billboards and the neon took the place of silver bells
And the temperature is eighty-four degrees
I can hear the traffic on the crowded strip below
As the palm trees poke their heads above the scene
But there's not a single reindeer and it hardly ever snows
And Santa drives a Rolls Royce limousine

But all along the Rockies you can feel it in the air
From Telluride to Boulder down below
The closest thing to Heaven on this planet anywhere
Is a quiet Christmas morning in the Colorado snow

I remember Christmases when I was just a boy
In the morning I would run to see the tree
And the carolers on the hillside sang their songs of Christmas joy
Well, I always thought they sang them just for me
But now the sun is setting in the California sky
And I can't find the spirit anywhere
So I think it's time for me to tell Los Angeles goodbye
I'm going back home to look for Christmas there

But all along the Rockies you can feel it in the air
From Telluride to Boulder down below
The closest thing to Heaven on this planet anywhere
Is a quiet Christmas morning in the Colorado snow

It's a quiet Christmas morning in the Colorado snow

"Love Has Brought Him Here"
(B. Carpenter, T. Kell)

In the crowded streets of this desert town
I've heard the rumor going 'round
But it doesn't seem the time or place
For a Savior child to bring His grace
There's too much trouble, greed and tears
Who could greet Him, conscience clear?
And who among us would believe

Till the trumpets sound His song
That the promised one has come
Then a star came out and the cattle low
And the street turned bright with a manger's glow
I thought I heard the message clear
That love has brought Him here

Who are these people, peasant poor
Who sit inside the stable door
Where is the sense in such a choice
What have we waited for
Seems a King should have much more
Then the star turned bright and the mother smiled
At this gift of life her precious child
I saw right then the message clear
That love has brought Him here

Then the star came out and the cattle low
And the street shone bright with a manger's glow
And this old world will one day know
The love that's brought Him here
The love that's brought Him here
The love that's brought Him here

"One Christmas Tree"
(J. Hanna, J. Ibbotson)

The season is on us when all our dreams come true
And for a while the spirit of giving is renewed
And children wonder about the truth of things
That they say at church or hear the angels sing
Our kids have two trees, one at each of our homes
Yours with antique balls and mine with dime store globes
Their Christmas wish is as simple as it's clear
Let their parents pride and anger disappear

So this year at Yuletide, here's how we'll do it
We'll put up one Christmas tree
Then gather 'round it, sing hallelujah
Peace on earth and to our family

The kids swear they remember loving years before
When they heard the neighbors caroling at our door
And mom and dad were both snuggled in one chair
Watching wrapping paper flying everywhere

So this year at Yuletide, here's how we'll do it
We'll put up one Christmas tree
Then gather 'round it, sing hallelujah
Peace on earth and to our family
And to our family
Peace on earth to our family
Peace on earth and to our family

Xmas Xtras Xcellent Xercise

2006-12-05T00:49:00.000-08:00

As all you folks from the nonprofit realm know the Christmas season is total madness for your organization. You have parties to plan, fundraisers to put in place and the ever so popular Christmas Appeal that must go out because everyone in the city is going to get 200 of the suckers and you are competing for the same dollars.

I have to say I'm really happy with this year's Christmas Card (appeal) and having my brother, the graphic designer, do the work pro bono is an added blessing. I kept it simple but hopefully the message is easy to grasp and folks will want to donate. The designing of the card is fun, it is the rush to print, cut, fold, stuff, and address the envelopes that gets tedious at time. I worked quite a bit this weekend on the card and fortunately had a great friend and volunteer help out so the work went even quicker. Time to get them puppies into the mail and hope for the best.

Now the fun part, planning parties for 600 kids. Buying gifts, working up activities, organizing the cookouts and snacks, and last but not least, getting the logistics down to transport them to and from the ice rink during your operation's hours. Fun, but oh so tiring.

Staff Christmas party to host and plan. It is tomorrow night and I think I am down for meat and cheese trays, a veggie tray, and responsible for the games. I wonder if I should start working on that soon... hmm. It is a white elephant gift party and if there is one thing I can do, it is picking out a white elephant gift!

Board Party in a week. Luckily I just have to find a suitable piece of art for matting and framing for the outgoing President. A breeze.

Two grants to finish by Friday. No sweat. I think I can have them done by Thursday.

Friday night is a special night with friends.

Saturday morning is Board Orientation.

Saturday afternoon is the State 3A Semi-finals at Shotwell Stadium, my Canyon Eagles are playing!

Saturday night I play Santa at Christmas Lane.

Sunday I think I will rest. Hopefully I will have a chance to hang with my two friends at the State School.

Next Monday... we start it all over again.

I'm reminded of line from "Bowlegs" by the NGDB - "Run on a treadmill and you'll get tired alot (puff, puff)."

Here is to running and getting tired. Cheers!

Christmas Carols Cause Contentment

2006-12-03T08:05:00.000-08:00

Okay, I admit it. I love Christmas carols and have quite a collection of them. Some of my favorite are not traditional and do not get a lot of play time on radio stations but I thought I would share some of the lyrics as this Christmas season gets into full swing. Today I'll post two of my favorites from John Denver and the Muppets, A Christmas Together

The Peace Carol
by Bob Beers

The garment of life, be it tattered and torn
The cloak of the soldier is withered and worn
But what child is this that was poverty-born
The peace of Christmas Day

CHORUS: The branch that bears the bright holly
The dove that rests in yonder tree
The light that shines for all to see
The peace of Christmas Day

Verse 2: The hope that has slumbered for 2000 years
The promise that silenced 1000 fears
A faith that can hobble an ocean of tears
The peace of Christmas Day

(chorus)

Verse 3: Add all the grief that people may bear
Total the strife, the troubles and care
Put them in columns and leave them right there
The peace of Christmas Day

(chorus twice)

It's In Everyone of Us
the Hollies
(The lyrics posted in italics are the ones sung on the CD, those in regular script are the ones that are not.)
It's in everyone of us
To be wise
Find your heart
Open up both your eyes
We can all know everything
Without ever knowing why
It's in everyone of us
By and by (repeat)

It's in everyone of us
I just remembered
It's like I've been sleepin' forty years
I'm not awake as I can be
but my seein's better
I can see, through the tears
And I've been realisin' bad
I bought this ticket
And watching only half of the show
But there is scenery and lights
And a cast of thousands
You all know (you all know)
what I know (what I know)
And it's good
That it's so
It's in everyone of us
To be wise
Find your heart
Open up both your eyes
We can all know everything
Without ever knowing why
It's in everyone of us
By and by and
It's in everyone of us
By and by

Time to do some housecleaning...

2006-12-03T07:53:00.000-08:00

I have finally gotten around to clean up my blog buddies links. I have added Tubby and Random Speak. I also updated Alisa's new blog site that I have been so delinquint in doing... which meant if you clicked on it you went to her old site, totally frustrating.

I removed some others who have stopped blogging. When they come back to the world of blogging, I will add them again.

Now for the question I know is burning in everyone's brain...

"Will Frustrated produce another Christmas Story Card?" The answer my friends is "yes" and again if you want the card to be sent to you then email me your mailing address by December 20th so I can get the card to you in time for Christmas. You can email me at:

derrickhallwithcowsandmolly@yahoo.com

I hope you have a marvelous weekend.

Hunting with wild cows

2006-12-03T07:06:00.000-08:00

Went hunting for the first time in two years on Saturday. I know many folks in Texas call sitting in a blind and waiting for a deer to show up at a feeder hunting, but my buddy Pete and I do it the old fashioned way; we walk and stalk. Frankly, sitting in a blind waiting for deer to walk up and shooting them with a scoped rifle falls more into the realm of butchering an animal as there really isn't any challenge involved, but hey, if that is how you want to hunt, more power to you but I think I'll stick to the walking method.

Walking into the wind, stepping lightly, constantly searching for any movement that might be a deer. We saw plenty in the cold morning twilight but they were too far away (I hunt with a .44 magnum pistol which means you have to get extremely close to take a shot). The walk through the brush takes about two hours and right when we thought the day was going to be a bust, I spotted three does on the other side of a draw, standing between two cedar clumps. Caught in mid-step, I had to try to balance while I took aim.

I fired.

I missed.

The does flee and immediately there is an explosion in a clump of cedars to the left of me. A red brangus cow and her calf come flying out and charge at me, then turn to enter the draw and disappear into the brush. I can feel my heart pounding and shake my head in wonder at what had just happened. About the time I start to think about the three does I am shocked to see them reappear in the same clearing and looking straight at me. I snap off another shot and in my excitement overshot the biggest one. They take off down the draw and about the time I start after them I hear more crashing through the brush and find the cow and calf have returned with a determined look (if cows can truly look determined) and run past me in the opposite direction.

Pete walks up shortly, laughing. He tells me his dad had just bought that cow and her calf and she is pretty wild. Won't run with the other cows in the herd but seems happy to roam around the place with just her calf. He can't figure out her behavior either since most cows just meander away from us and typically ignore our intrusion.

No venison for the freezer but I did take the time to go and practice my shooting. It goes to show you what happens when you fail to keep in practice. Two missed shots at 50 yards. Inexcusable. Oh well, Pete at least had a good laugh at my expense.

I do have to think hunting with wild cows does give the deer an added advantage as you have to make sure you aren't run over by a focused brangus who has who knows what on her brain. Maybe this should be a requirement for all hunts...

Some days you probably should stay in bed

2006-12-01T05:26:00.000-08:00

Yesterday started off with a bang; snow, ice, and cancellations by the score. We even closed the clubs for the day so the kids wouldn't be endangered getting to and from them. This made work a productive day as no one is in the office and there is little if any disturbance.

Great day, right? Sure... sort of... okay, it didn't end so well.

Had an appointment cancelled without notice.

Get home and while I'm carrying a TV upstairs, I trip. Some yahoo had dusted the wooden stairs with Pledge, it is like ice now (okay, I'm that yahoo but still...) My knee is killing me and my other leg is just sore. I know this will take some time to work all the stiffness out. Oh, don't worry about the TV, it made it up the stairs unharmed. Go figure.

The day did end well though with a friend dropping by to chat and Jman and I finishing up the evening having breakfast (served my world famous fried eggs seasoned with toasted garlic, pepper, and olive oil. okay, they might not be world famous but I've never had a complaint yet)

Sore but well fed, I crawled up the stairs and called it an early evening. Was in bed by 9.

Today will be a better day.

Baby It's Cold Outside

2006-11-30T04:50:00.000-08:00

Well finally we've got some snow on the ground and the thermometer shows a brisk 25 degrees outside with a wind chill of 12 degrees. Yes! I am sipping coffee and watching the snow fall, what a treat!

I'm hoping the white stuff sticks around for the rest of the day. I needs me some snow!

So to celebrate the cold and the snow, a little ditty...

I likes me some white stuff
Falling from the sky
It doesn't stay long enough
For this cold weather guy.
I like to see covered trees
And crystals on the glass
As long as pipes don't freeze
Or I have to get my car gas.
Let it snow my good fellow
We'll toss a snowball or two
Just don't use snow that's yellow
Or smelly snow that sticks to shoes.

Keep warm everyone!

13 Things on my Christmas List

2006-11-30T04:30:00.000-08:00

I know you all are just dying to get the Christmas shopping done so here is my list of 13, in no particular order, that will make me ecstatic on Christmas morning...

World Peace (while I doubt you can deliver on this one, I thought I would toss it in just to win some points with Santa)
Ruger .480
Longhorns winning their Bowl Game
Complete funding for all the Clubs
World Peace (oops, did I already mention that one? See how good I'm being Santa?)
A new banjo
A blue tooth for my Razor
A publisher for my books
A check that would pay off all the bills. Better yet, a winning lottery ticket, I'll take care of the rest.
Oh, World Peace (why yes Santa, I've been very good)
A measure of good health for family and friends
All of my loved ones sitting around the tree, sipping hot chocolate or coffee, enjoying each other's company.
And #1 on my list... Piece of the World (Just in case you can't deliver on World Peace, I'll take a piece of the world. Bavaria looks good...)

Christmas Parade of Lights

2006-11-28T22:01:00.000-08:00

Tonight was the annual Parade of Lights downtown where 100 floats (decorated trailers) promoting nonprofits, businesses, or service clubs weave their way through the throngs of people leading the way for Santa (who arrives in a horse drawn wagon) and kick off the holiday season. I brought twelve kids from one of the clubs to ride on the trailer from my service club and I discovered some interesting truths;

The words "No, we aren't going to do that" increases the resolve of twelve year old ornery boys to do exactly what was forbidden.
The fear of children's safety rises exponentially by number of children factored with the number of wheels in motion.
Flashlights, kids, Santa hats, and suckers are the ingredients for a nice little dish we call "bedlam".
Telling kids to stop sucking on the straw from the hay will never have the impact of telling them that rats, skunks, raccoons, and snakes use that hay for nests and also for their own personal porta-potties.
Older folks stop considering kids "cute" about five minutes into the parade.
Nothing is more fascinating to city kids than watching a horse make social commentary onto the pavement.
Perhaps the only thing more fascinating to kids than watching horses defecate is watching people walk through the newly produced parade obstacle.
Kids love to be in parades because it gives them another opportunity to drive adults a little closer to the edge...

It was a great parade and the kids did have a great time. I am thrilled there won't be another one until next year...

A Visit to Al-Anon

2006-11-27T20:29:00.000-08:00

Went to an Al-Anon meeting tonight and after an hour was impressed at the personal introspection and healing that takes place through their program. It ain't about fixin' the other person, it's about fixin' yourself.

In my case there isn't even an alcoholic involved but there are so many involved in the lives of the kids I serve so I thought maybe they could give me some insight into how I could help them. Lo and behold, it isn't "them" that needs the help, it is me. It was a great experience and worthy of a second glance.

Post Thanksgiving

2006-11-27T20:25:00.000-08:00

The bird's been 'et
The folks have run
Lest we forget
There's dishes to be done.

Mind Sets

2006-11-27T20:07:00.000-08:00

When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares. -Henri Nouwen

After a long discussion with someone I dearly love and would gladly take a bullet for, I was reminded of several truths about relationships and the human mind.

The mind is a terrible thing to play games with.
Physical injuries heal in days, mental ones take lifetimes and even then, there is no guarantee of healing.
A wounded mind = a fragile life.
Holding the wounded in your arms while they get through a crises probably does more to sooth the holder than the holdee.
There is a helplessness that consumes you when you desperately want to protect/heal/deliver the person who is crying out for release of inner torments.
My hurts cannot begin to compare to the hurt I feel from watching a child in anguish.
Laying in the dark trying to find the way to help the one you love is a lonely vigil.

I also know Henri Nouwen is right but have to admit this part of the phrase saddens and frustrates me...

"...who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares"

I know it is because I want to fix it and make it better that there is such frustration and a sense of helplessness, but just because I know that to be true doesn't make it any easier.

Iraquis Take Healing to a New Level

2006-11-25T21:06:00.000-08:00

So we take out your dictator, remove a tyrant, his sons, and give you a chance to run the country in a democracy if you wish. Two years later we have you "healing" like a big dog... Why your Iraqui police are quite adept at keeping the peace... provided they don't have to do more than avert their eyes while the people burn Sunnis alive, or insurgents take electric drills to people before decapitating them.

This is supposed to be a time of healing. You know, let's all get together and put aside differences to experience a little freedom and maybe even enjoy a night or two of sleeping without the fear of Royal Guards busting in and killing your family in the middle of the night. Healing... you know, getting better, improving your lot... changing your world... healing.

Well tan our hides and mount us to a T60 tank 'cause the whole healing concept has seemed to fail to register in your minds. Are you even paying attention? Since when did killing and maiming fall under the heading of TLC? Maybe our concept of liberty and freedom doesn't groove with your idea of the same. Perhaps we have the mistaken idea of liberty being equality distributed among citizens as they respect each other's rights... you know, those rights that include breathing and keeping your head attached to your neck. Hey, I think even the right to keep your innards inside of you would also qualify.

So listen you morons, straighten up or tell us you are quite happy killing each other off and that we should go home. Forget summits and resolutions, get straight to thinking with some part of your body that isn't swollen and itching in the anal region.

You know, a couple of thousand US citizens have died trying to give you freedom and a fresh start. Time for us to leave and let you folks kill each other off in you own little practice of mass insanity.

Oh, lay off the torture and decapitations... cruelty has never been cool in any setting and you just show the world just how backwards and moronic you are.

A frustrating day ends less so...

2006-11-25T20:54:00.000-08:00

Worked all day long on Slvr's car today. We started off to work on the master cylinder but she mentioned electrical problems which means you get to chase all sorts of rabbits to finally nail the problem down. We made numerous trips to the autoparts store but the car wouldn't start. Just to give you an idea:

Change out left tail-light lamp. Busted. Assembly is holding water.
Unplug drain from light assembly.
Light works, yeah!
Pulled battery. Cleaned posts, cables, and box.
Put battery back in, car won't turn over.
Shut hood, alarm goes off.
Disconnect cables.
Replace the terminal heads on the battery cables. Purchased the wrong ones first, another trip to get the right ones. Still have to modify.
Pull Starter Relay and check five autoparts stores. No one has it in stock. Will be Monday before they can order it.
Get to the dealer, no relay in stock but suggested I try the ignition switch instead since relays seldom if ever go out.
Search for ignition switch after removing underdash to make sure ignition swith won't require special tools. Nope, easily accessible.
Get to parts store, look at universal switch. Only three wires. Bright light goes off in my thick skull... especially after conversation with sales clerk.
Get connection splices to reconnect the auto alarm system that I cut to keep the horn from going off. Duh... auto kill switch to the starter!
Fix splice.
Try several methods to reset alarm system. None work.
Slvr looks all over her car and finds a manual to the alarm system.
Reset the system.
Car runs perfect. A day has passed.
Kids want to go to the drive in theatre.
Take kids to the drive in.
Watch Happy Feet and Flushed Away. Both excellent.
Return home to do laundry and wash dishes.
Ready to go to bed.

This was the first time the kids had ever been to a drive-in movie. They enjoyed the experience! Sort of a dull day, but at least Slvr's car is up and running again. I only feel partially stupid...

I've been tagged

2006-11-24T06:14:00.000-08:00

I have been tagged by a couple of folks to do the Meme thing and because it is a holiday, I'm gonna do it 'cause who wants to think on a holiday while licking their wounds? Not me...

I won't tag anyone but feel free to do these. Tubby, still working on the song title one...

One word description- yeah, you can only use one word...for some of us that is almost impossible!

1. Yourself: Insightful
2. Your spouse: None
3. Your hair: Leaving
4. Your mother: Happy
5. Your father: Kind
6. Your favorite item: Banjos
7. Your dream last night: None
8. Your favorite drink: Fresca
9. Your dream car: Camero
10. The room you are in: bedroom
11. Your ex: Ha!
12. Your fear: Failing
13. What you want to be in 10 years: Happy
14. Who you hung out with last night: Family
15. What you're not: Dead
16. Muffins: Blueberry
17: One of your wish list items: Funding
18: Time: Morning
19. The last thing you did: Mopped
20. What you are wearing: Smile
21. Your favorite weather: crisp
22. Your favorite book: PrayerforOwenMeany
23. The last thing you ate: Pie
24. Your life: Fun
25. Your mood: Upbeat
26. Your best friend: Fanatstic
27. What you're thinking about right now: Showering
28. Your car: Chevy
29. What you are doing at the moment: Stretching
30. Your summer: Hot
31. Your relationship status: Hopeful
32. What is on your TV: DVD player
33. What is the weather like: Crisp
34. When was the last time you laughed: Yesterday

Whew, made it it. Have a great post Thanksgiving!

It Was Bound to Happen

2006-11-24T05:58:00.000-08:00

I checked and all the planets were still in spinning around in orbit, following their ancient celestial paths as they fly around our sun.

Birds woke up the world this morning with their morning songs of celebration.

The sun did come up this morning.

I even checked to see if America was still a free nation, and we are.

You would've thought after such a cataclysmic event as the Geezers losing to the Wheezers for the first time ever....that the universe would be reeling from the shock of it all. Sigh.

It was a great game despite early injuries (Slvr had to leave the game after a pass when someone grabbed her by the shoulder and spun her to the ground as she passed by, twisting her toe, which is now an ugly shade of purple. Okay that someone was me, but seriously, it was unintentional and the simple laws of physics took over... really.) Tied up as the sun is going down and there is a quick agreement that each team gets one play. Whoever makes the most yardage in their one play wins the game. Our quarterback takes the ball and hikes it, we all take to our patterns... then the unthinkable happens. Our quarterback is sacked by Jman. All the Wheezers have to do is catch a pass for positive yardage and the game is over. A quick hike, a soft pass to Jman and history has been made.

Today I think I will sit in a dark room, lick my wounds (jammed three fingers and twisted an ankle) and dream of revenge or maybe dream of a day when the Geezers were younger, faster, and smarter. Congrats to the Wheezers for their victory and for playing an excellent game.

Ode to a Turkey

2006-11-23T03:50:00.000-08:00

Oh Mr. Turkey all juicy and fat
Cooking nicely in the roaster.
Surrounded by dressing that goes splat
Made from old bread toasted.

You had such a cute name, I recall
When wrapped in netted white.
We lovingly called you "Butterball"
Looking forward to a feasting delight.

Now you're a gorgeous brown
Smelling like heaven has descended
Folks are starting to gather round
To devour you as intended.

So on this day of giving thanks
I thank you Mr. Turkey
For being there for our hungry ranks
And not being made of tofurkey.

Thursday 13 for Thanksgiving Day, 2006

2006-11-23T03:44:00.000-08:00

Thirteen Things I'm Thankful for in no particular order;

My kids.
My friends.
My brothers.
My parents.
My blogging buddies.
Having a job where I can serve others.
Living in the US of A.
Any talent/gift I might've been blessed with.
Hope for the future.
A small abatement in my cynical tendencies.
Living in the Great State of Texas.
Grilled armadillo salad (just seeing if you are paying attention).
Freedom and those who served/died giving it to me.

Happy Thanksgiving!

More great recipes

2006-11-21T06:21:00.000-08:00

I know everyone is excited about the Raccoon on a Stick recipe so I thought I would post a salad recipe and a dessert today.

Grilled Armadillo Tossed Salad

Harvest an armadillo. (I would suggest you avoid getting a road killed armadillo since the shells tend to be cracked and don't hold the sauce and salad so well.)
Pick some lamb's quarter. (Leaves only, the stalks are waaaay to woody.)
For the really adventurous soul, fresh spinach is a nice touch. (Ecoli is just an urban myth.... besides, grilled armadillo will knock out any little virus that might kill off the faint of heart.)
Grab manderin oranges too.

Dress out your armadillo. Set the now empty shell aside to wash and bleach later. Wash the meat, filet the meat off the bone and grill over a nice heap of mesquite coals. When the meat turns white, take it off the grill, slice it into manageable bites and set aside on a paper towel.

Wash your salad greens. Peel and seperate manderin orange wedges. Mix all of them together in a bowl. Pour on a healthy heaping of your favorite vinegarette sauce, add armadillo, and mix until there is a nice shiny coat to all of it.

Hopefully you have taken the time to wash the shell and let a little bleach water set in it. Rinse thoroughly, wash again, rinse again, coat inside of the shell lightly with olive oil. Take your salad fixings and set them inside the shell. Set the shell in the middle of the table so all of your folks can oooh and aaaah at the festive edible centerpiece.

Dessert time folks, I'm thinking pecan pie.

Pecan Pie

Pick up pecans from underneath the trees.
Shell pecans.
Munch on pecans while shelling.
Share shelled pecans with other family members.
Realize you have eaten all of the pecans.
Trot down to your local bakery and purchase a pecan pie.
Serve with coffee.

Easy, huh?

Tomorrow I'll be bringing you some of the more festive side dishes for Thanksgiving. You won't want to miss it!

Let me help you out...

2006-11-20T05:36:00.000-08:00

Since Thanksgiving is upon us, I thought I would help you folks out with some killer recipes over the next few days that will surely please the family when they gather around table to feast upon the turkey and dressing.

For my vegetarian friends I thought I would start off with a personal favorite of mine.

Tofu Turkey Joy

Purchase a tofu turkey.
Purchase a case of 9mm rounds.
Place the tofu turkey into an aluminum roasting pan.
Place pan 25 yards from the back porch, preferably on an old tree stump.
Have the family lock and load.
On the given signal, everyone empties their 9mm's into the tofu turkey until nothing is left but miniscule pieces of tofu.
Go inside and eat a real turkey.
(Caution: Be sure when you place the tofu turkey on the stump there are not any houses, animals of worth, or people you care about, behind the roasting pan. However, you can have in-laws you aren't so fond of stand behind the tofu turkey to catch stray bullets...).

Raccoon on a Stick

Catch a small raccoon. Two if you are expecting a large crowd.
Skin the raccoon. Field dress the raccoon (that would be removing the guts and other non-edibles)
Wash the meat.
Get a stick.
Skewer the raccoon.
Baste the raccoon in your favorite pre-smoking sauce.
Place the raccoon and stick into your smoker.
Smoke for six hours.
Pull the raccoon into nice even portions, skewer with smaller sticks
Set on table and step back. Watch the eating frenzy...

Okay, there are your first two. Will post desserts next.