Sweet Vindication
"Women don't read the back of cards!" I grinned on that one because I had seen too many women do it but it was a fun argument full of jests, points and counterpoints, and finally an admission from me that perhaps this one on my last Thursday Thirteen was a small jab at the feminine segment of our species.
Then tonight as we ate at Red Lobster the following conversation was overheard at the table next to us.
"How long did you spend looking for this card?" There is a moment of nervous silence as the man considers an answer. I am fighting down the temptation to scream, "Don't do it man, it's a trap!" but before I can warn him he answers.
"Fifteen minutes." I know he is thinking to himself, "Fifteen minutes is ample time to find an appropriate card for Valentines Day but au contraire, mon ami, it's not.
"Were you looking in the Hallmark section or the Cheap section?" Now is there really a good answer to this question? Again, I struggle to speak with a mouthful of salad, "Man, redirect! Redirect! Choke on something, have a heart attack! Abort! Abort!" Alas, not only does he forge ahead towards a swift relationship execution, I think he is making the noose out of his napkin.
"I thought it was a Hallmark card." Oooh, bad move, my man, they read the back of the card and the back of the card does not lie...
"No, see this? This says American Greetings, not Hallmark. They make some nice cards but not like Hallmark."
"I thought the card was cool." He caught me drinking my water and before I could swallow I heard her say, "No, my card was cool. This is a card you might buy for Peanut."
Okay, I don't know who Peanut is but I'm guessing Peanut is either not human or one of this guys buddies. Either way, it is obvious purchasing a Valentines Day card for either would be a step down from buying a card for your "ahem... Valentine."
About this time I am trying hard not to laugh out loud as my date looks at me with a shocked expression and says, "If I wasn't here to hear this conversation, I would've thought you were making this all up. I want to go over there and tell her she is giving all women a bad name."
Yes my friends, sweet vindication for my Thursday Thirteen! Whoever the poor man was that sat behind us I can only offer this advice, "Take Peanut and RUN!"
Then tonight as we ate at Red Lobster the following conversation was overheard at the table next to us.
"How long did you spend looking for this card?" There is a moment of nervous silence as the man considers an answer. I am fighting down the temptation to scream, "Don't do it man, it's a trap!" but before I can warn him he answers.
"Fifteen minutes." I know he is thinking to himself, "Fifteen minutes is ample time to find an appropriate card for Valentines Day but au contraire, mon ami, it's not.
"Were you looking in the Hallmark section or the Cheap section?" Now is there really a good answer to this question? Again, I struggle to speak with a mouthful of salad, "Man, redirect! Redirect! Choke on something, have a heart attack! Abort! Abort!" Alas, not only does he forge ahead towards a swift relationship execution, I think he is making the noose out of his napkin.
"I thought it was a Hallmark card." Oooh, bad move, my man, they read the back of the card and the back of the card does not lie...
"No, see this? This says American Greetings, not Hallmark. They make some nice cards but not like Hallmark."
"I thought the card was cool." He caught me drinking my water and before I could swallow I heard her say, "No, my card was cool. This is a card you might buy for Peanut."
Okay, I don't know who Peanut is but I'm guessing Peanut is either not human or one of this guys buddies. Either way, it is obvious purchasing a Valentines Day card for either would be a step down from buying a card for your "ahem... Valentine."
About this time I am trying hard not to laugh out loud as my date looks at me with a shocked expression and says, "If I wasn't here to hear this conversation, I would've thought you were making this all up. I want to go over there and tell her she is giving all women a bad name."
Yes my friends, sweet vindication for my Thursday Thirteen! Whoever the poor man was that sat behind us I can only offer this advice, "Take Peanut and RUN!"
Labels: Just stuff, Life
posted by Frustrated Writer | 12:42 AM
4 Comments:
oh my goodness. I've never looked at the back of a card. :-\ That woman is giving the rest of us a bad name and/or I'm not being true to my nature? (shudder)
Naaah. Valentine's day is a communist plot. All that red all over the place. Thats my story and I am sticking to it.
I admit to looking at the backs of the cards I'm buying, but never the ones I get. I guess I'm so blinded by the joy of actually receiving a card, nothing else matters.
I can't believe that conversation actually took place! that poor guy!
I showed this to the office staff and we all had a really good laugh. You are a good writer my friend
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