The Slaughter of the Yellowjackets

Took my oldest with me out to the potential farm house with a case of wasp spray and we commenced the slaughter of the yellowjackets. I respect most things in nature and realize wasps do serve a purpose in the whole scheme of things, I am just a believer they can serve far away from me.

Cans of spray in hand, we knocked down a thousand nests or so (okay, maybe not a thousand, but it sure seemed like it) and removed the homes of the little blighters. I also had a nest of barn swallows on the porch, another dispicable creature that I totally adore someplace else beside the porch, who flew off when we approached. I had seen the little ones last week and they were just feathering over so I didn't disturb the nest. Now they can fly and the nest comes down.

My oldest, who is a vegetarian, was pondering if there was perhaps a certain plant I could put around the house that would keep the wasps away. I thought about that last night and have decided there are ten basic principles when it comes to yellowjackets...

1. Some things just need killin' and yellowjackets are one of them.
2. In the scheme of receiving pain and giving pain, I would much rather give them pain.
3. I had a friend who died from multiple yellowjacket stings. Call this revenge.
4. Yellowjackets travel in gangs... gangs are bad. If they could wear colors, I think they would be proudly displaying them.
5. I'm pretty sure that yellowjackets work for Al Quaida so this is a Homeland Security issue
6. I've yet to see a yellowjacket sit down to eat bisquits and gravy. That alone makes them a bit suspicious in my book.
7. I remember getting stung four times once when I picked up my mountain bike only to find they had built a nest underneath the seat. Obviously they were trying to keep me from excercising, hoping that I would be dorment enough to bring on a heart attack and then they would have eliminated me from the planet. So this is purely a self defense issue.
8. Ever notice how yellowjackets like to float in the water at the pool, obviously gawking at half dressed humans with evil intentions in their decadent waspy minds... so I am eliminating potential predators.
9. Yellowjackets eat your fruit off of the trees making these killings a preservation of property issue.
10. I am pretty sure yellowjackets buzz out the "Boomer Sooner" song and as a true Texas Longhorn fan, I am therefore obligated to smash them flat.

There are probably another 10 good reasons to kill yellowjackets but I really only need one... I hate them with a passion.

Wonder if I can get wasp spray in a 55 gallon drum?