The Great Funeral Parlor War
During the tradio show, the war of the commercials was almost as fun as the show itself as two funeral parlors were really taking shots at each other. A few samples of their commercials are needed... I have changed the name of the funeral homes for obvious reasons.
"At Johnson's Funeral Home we bring you the latest in funeral home technology. You will receive the expert and professional service you expect out of a quality funeral home."
"Bubba's Funeral Home has been serving this community since 1946. You grown up knowing our fine service and excellent prices. Does the other funeral home offer a $1,000 casket like we do?"
"In those trying times of grief and sadness, you need a friend who will take care of all your funeral needs. At Johnson's Funeral Home our kind and compassionate staff will pay attention to every detail and promise to assist you in every way possible through quality personal service."
"Did you know you have to be given a list of expenses when you purchase a funeral plan? At Bubba's we let you know where every penny is being spent on a list you can understand. Do the new folks in town offer you that option? You've known us for a lifetime and trust we'll do you a good job. Come to Bubba's for all your funeral needs."
I have to admit I wish there were more to offer you but those are the ones I can remember. I absolutely love the "Does the other funeral home offer a $1,000 casket?" line. I think I could write copy for Bubba's and maybe should get in contact with them to offer the following;
"You've grown up with us so now let us do your burying."
"We've been planting bodies since 1946. We know the people, we know the cemeteries. Come and let us plant your loved one today!"
"Not every funeral home knows the importance of local compassionate service like you find at Bubba's. We are there to hold your hand, give you tissues, and will haul your loved one's carcass to the cemetery in our top of the line Cadillac hearse. Come and do your grieving where the fine folks of this parish have been grieving for ages. That would be Bubba's Funeral Parlor, where every customer is a good ol' boy. A dead good ol' boy, but a good ol' boy nonetheless."
"At Johnson's Funeral Home we bring you the latest in funeral home technology. You will receive the expert and professional service you expect out of a quality funeral home."
"Bubba's Funeral Home has been serving this community since 1946. You grown up knowing our fine service and excellent prices. Does the other funeral home offer a $1,000 casket like we do?"
"In those trying times of grief and sadness, you need a friend who will take care of all your funeral needs. At Johnson's Funeral Home our kind and compassionate staff will pay attention to every detail and promise to assist you in every way possible through quality personal service."
"Did you know you have to be given a list of expenses when you purchase a funeral plan? At Bubba's we let you know where every penny is being spent on a list you can understand. Do the new folks in town offer you that option? You've known us for a lifetime and trust we'll do you a good job. Come to Bubba's for all your funeral needs."
I have to admit I wish there were more to offer you but those are the ones I can remember. I absolutely love the "Does the other funeral home offer a $1,000 casket?" line. I think I could write copy for Bubba's and maybe should get in contact with them to offer the following;
"You've grown up with us so now let us do your burying."
"We've been planting bodies since 1946. We know the people, we know the cemeteries. Come and let us plant your loved one today!"
"Not every funeral home knows the importance of local compassionate service like you find at Bubba's. We are there to hold your hand, give you tissues, and will haul your loved one's carcass to the cemetery in our top of the line Cadillac hearse. Come and do your grieving where the fine folks of this parish have been grieving for ages. That would be Bubba's Funeral Parlor, where every customer is a good ol' boy. A dead good ol' boy, but a good ol' boy nonetheless."
posted by Frustrated Writer | 8:22 AM
3 Comments:
Holy cow!!! LOL! My grandfather would totally use Bubba's service for my grandmother. (She'd be eternally mortified).
I find it amusing to hear ads for funeral homes. Such an odd business to advertise - I mean, everyone will eventually need the services.
hello there stranger! heh heh heh.... my family has a history of funeral directors for some reason
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