Tuesday Tidbits 10/03/06
In a world of mass confusion, no one can shovel it faster than the Tuesday Tidbits...
International News
Russia Gets Miffed At Georgia
Georgia has released four Russian officers accused of spying on the small southern state. The governor of Georgia, Sonny Perdue, was quick to defend the recent arrests by pointing out "them reds can't be trusted." According to local law enforcement officer, Slim Jim Taliker, the suspected spies were caught writing down information from one of the displays at the Coca Cola museum.
"I caught 'em red handed. Scribbling down classified documents to take back home so they can steal the last stand of 'Merican capitalism, Coca-Cola. We don't take to kindly to no industrial sabatoge in these here parts and I think hanging is too good for 'em."
Russian emissaries are quick to ask if the document was classified, then why is it part of a museum display? Governor Sonny Perdue responded with "That's just like a Ruskie, trying to cloud the situation with useless facts. We gonna let all go home anyways so quit yer bellyachin'."
National News
Florida Rep. Mark Foley Checks Into Recovery Facility
Former Florida Rep. Mark Foley has placed himself into a rehab unit to help him overcome his addiction to alcohol and young male pages. After his explicit emails and text messages to teenage male pages were discovered, Foley resigned his office and said he was seeking treatment.
"I know I need professional help that is why I am going to the best in the business. This facility will address both my alcoholism and my penchant for young teenage boys. I'll see you all in 30 days."
Sources close to Foley say he will be treated at the Michael Jackson Center for Misunderstood Friends until the end of October.
State News
Terrell Owens Cleared of Suicide Attempt
In a report filed by a doctor who suspiciously looked like Terrell Owens agent, all charges of a possible suicide have been dropped.
"It seems there was a minor mistake made by Mr. Owens as he took some pain pills, playfully called his friends to tell them he was depressed, and took some more pain pills. You just have to know T.O. He always playing around like that."
Sources close to Mr. Owens aren't so sure. An anonymous source admitted "T gets dangerously depressed if he ain't the center of attention and last week he only made the papers twice and radio talk shows only talked about him four times. That is like starving a baby to death..."
Terrell Owens appears to have recovered quite nicely from the incident.
Editorial
After some thought about the previous editiorial, I removed it. So maybe the editorial for today should be about thinking out editorials before writing them down. Hmm, that would require me to actually stop and ponder how folks might react to the editiorial and therefore actually care what they think...nah, I'll just erase them when I think they are inappopriate.
Movie Review
The third installment of XMen comes out today with three alternate endings. I haven't seen this flic but something tells me it will be a definite three to four quill production. I will report on it next week.
As always, the Tuesday Tidbits is full of non truths and nonessential facts... sort of like a real newspaper. Quote at your own risk. P.S. Yes, I do realize the Georgia that took the four Russian officers into custody and then released them was the nation of Georgia, not the state. (heavy eyeroll here) Which is why there is a disclaimer to this post...
International News
Russia Gets Miffed At Georgia
Georgia has released four Russian officers accused of spying on the small southern state. The governor of Georgia, Sonny Perdue, was quick to defend the recent arrests by pointing out "them reds can't be trusted." According to local law enforcement officer, Slim Jim Taliker, the suspected spies were caught writing down information from one of the displays at the Coca Cola museum.
"I caught 'em red handed. Scribbling down classified documents to take back home so they can steal the last stand of 'Merican capitalism, Coca-Cola. We don't take to kindly to no industrial sabatoge in these here parts and I think hanging is too good for 'em."
Russian emissaries are quick to ask if the document was classified, then why is it part of a museum display? Governor Sonny Perdue responded with "That's just like a Ruskie, trying to cloud the situation with useless facts. We gonna let all go home anyways so quit yer bellyachin'."
National News
Florida Rep. Mark Foley Checks Into Recovery Facility
Former Florida Rep. Mark Foley has placed himself into a rehab unit to help him overcome his addiction to alcohol and young male pages. After his explicit emails and text messages to teenage male pages were discovered, Foley resigned his office and said he was seeking treatment.
"I know I need professional help that is why I am going to the best in the business. This facility will address both my alcoholism and my penchant for young teenage boys. I'll see you all in 30 days."
Sources close to Foley say he will be treated at the Michael Jackson Center for Misunderstood Friends until the end of October.
State News
Terrell Owens Cleared of Suicide Attempt
In a report filed by a doctor who suspiciously looked like Terrell Owens agent, all charges of a possible suicide have been dropped.
"It seems there was a minor mistake made by Mr. Owens as he took some pain pills, playfully called his friends to tell them he was depressed, and took some more pain pills. You just have to know T.O. He always playing around like that."
Sources close to Mr. Owens aren't so sure. An anonymous source admitted "T gets dangerously depressed if he ain't the center of attention and last week he only made the papers twice and radio talk shows only talked about him four times. That is like starving a baby to death..."
Terrell Owens appears to have recovered quite nicely from the incident.
Editorial
After some thought about the previous editiorial, I removed it. So maybe the editorial for today should be about thinking out editorials before writing them down. Hmm, that would require me to actually stop and ponder how folks might react to the editiorial and therefore actually care what they think...nah, I'll just erase them when I think they are inappopriate.
Movie Review
The third installment of XMen comes out today with three alternate endings. I haven't seen this flic but something tells me it will be a definite three to four quill production. I will report on it next week.
As always, the Tuesday Tidbits is full of non truths and nonessential facts... sort of like a real newspaper. Quote at your own risk. P.S. Yes, I do realize the Georgia that took the four Russian officers into custody and then released them was the nation of Georgia, not the state. (heavy eyeroll here) Which is why there is a disclaimer to this post...
posted by Frustrated Writer | 5:40 AM
1 Comments:
Always love the tidbits!
And, I'm glad a local author is covering the correct perspective on those russian, cola recipe thieves!
I'm extremely sad that I missed your editorial post, though... I assume it was offensive enough to tickle my fancy...?
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