Thirteen Rotten Things I Did as a Kid
Here is my Thursday Thirteen...
1. Tossed firecrackers underneath rocking cars with fogged windows at Southeast Park.
2. Gave a kid the wrong answers to tests. If they were too lazy to study then I was too lazy to give them the right answers.
3. Whacked a bull's testicles with a rock from my slingshot after being convinced by a brother and cousin this would be a fun thing to do. This one about got me killed. Bulls don't take such activities lightly.
4. Burned the clutch out of my grandparent's pick up doing donuts in a plowed field. Yeah, I had to help pay for a new one.
5. Convinced a neighborhood kid he had killed his older brother with a clod during a clod fight and that he should leave home immediately before the cops came and took him away forever. He almost made the highway before he saw his brother riding his bike...
6. Filled a kid's trombone with crushed ice. Interesting sound...
7. Covered a kid with tumbleweeds. I should say he was terrified of tumbleweeds.
8. Melted a kid's Tonka toy dump truck with gunpowder. Gunpowder burns extremely hot.
9. Convinced the potentially murderous neighborhood kid that we should build the world's largest Moltov Cocktail. We filled a 4 ft. flourescent light bulb with gas, but a rag in it, lit it and tossed it against the burn barrels. Took months for our eyebrows to grow back.
10. Ruined my brother's bike, Part I. Ran his Spyder bike at full speed into the garage door, busting the fork off of the main frame. The one time the brakes fail...
11. Ruined my brother's bike, Part II. After getting a haircut in town, I was riding home when I pulled off the sidewalk into the main street and was hit by a truck. Bikes don't do well when hit by trucks.
12. I took care of my neighbor's chickens when they were out of town. They had a rooster who loved to spur unsuspecting kids so I let him have it with an egg. Egg covered roosters get pecked by all of the other 100+ chickens...Ever seen a featherless rooster? He never spurred me again though...
13. Convinced a kid in the youth group that our parents would enjoy hearing his burping Jesus Loves Me on talent night. Who knew parents were so uptight about religious songs?
1. Tossed firecrackers underneath rocking cars with fogged windows at Southeast Park.
2. Gave a kid the wrong answers to tests. If they were too lazy to study then I was too lazy to give them the right answers.
3. Whacked a bull's testicles with a rock from my slingshot after being convinced by a brother and cousin this would be a fun thing to do. This one about got me killed. Bulls don't take such activities lightly.
4. Burned the clutch out of my grandparent's pick up doing donuts in a plowed field. Yeah, I had to help pay for a new one.
5. Convinced a neighborhood kid he had killed his older brother with a clod during a clod fight and that he should leave home immediately before the cops came and took him away forever. He almost made the highway before he saw his brother riding his bike...
6. Filled a kid's trombone with crushed ice. Interesting sound...
7. Covered a kid with tumbleweeds. I should say he was terrified of tumbleweeds.
8. Melted a kid's Tonka toy dump truck with gunpowder. Gunpowder burns extremely hot.
9. Convinced the potentially murderous neighborhood kid that we should build the world's largest Moltov Cocktail. We filled a 4 ft. flourescent light bulb with gas, but a rag in it, lit it and tossed it against the burn barrels. Took months for our eyebrows to grow back.
10. Ruined my brother's bike, Part I. Ran his Spyder bike at full speed into the garage door, busting the fork off of the main frame. The one time the brakes fail...
11. Ruined my brother's bike, Part II. After getting a haircut in town, I was riding home when I pulled off the sidewalk into the main street and was hit by a truck. Bikes don't do well when hit by trucks.
12. I took care of my neighbor's chickens when they were out of town. They had a rooster who loved to spur unsuspecting kids so I let him have it with an egg. Egg covered roosters get pecked by all of the other 100+ chickens...Ever seen a featherless rooster? He never spurred me again though...
13. Convinced a kid in the youth group that our parents would enjoy hearing his burping Jesus Loves Me on talent night. Who knew parents were so uptight about religious songs?
posted by Frustrated Writer | 6:17 AM
10 Comments:
LMAO!!! I love doing donuts, especially in parking lots that haven't been plowed.
your list reminds me of my family. when you live in a small town, you come up with creative ways of keeping entertained.
I can't even come up with a list of 13. Why is it usually boys who are doing rotten things?
Last time I heard Dad talk about any of the things you guys did when you were younger, I was in utter shock yall escaped prison time. Good stuff. I especially like the "Worlds Largest Molotov" bit.
Post of the week. Everyone can just stop writing!
Somehow I can picture all of this... perhaps your wicked past is why you are so straight-laced now! (har har)
Those clod finds can become brutal but this also shows your age they outlawed clod fights in 1969..
hilarious! I'm glad you lived through it all.
1. I need to start hanging out with you. Alot.
2. I need to keep my daughter as far away from you as possible.
Um, humans don't do as well getting hit by trucks either. Glad you're okay. Hilarious list.
Heheheee! What a mean widdle kid! LOL
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