How to Make a Minor Prophet
I just finished a class for a small church in a small town. We covered the ever popular Minor Prophets (one of my favorite group of books) who most folks can't even name, much less care what they had to say. One of the more popular statements/questions I heard was "Why did they make this so hard to read? Have you ever read any of this?" Hmm, yes I have and knowing you don't have enough time in thirteen weeks to get people to appreciate the nuances of the 12 books you work on getting the major themes covered. So tonight is the last night of the class and they know they will be coming in for a test.
Now I try to make my tests fun and try to make them fairly easy. To take away test anxiety, I split up the room into teams. Everyone works together on their team and the team that finishes first wins a prize. Below is a sample from the test. Try your luck and see if you get the answers right...
1. Haggai wanted the people to go to the mountains for what? A. To get wood for a doozy of a barbecue B. To reconnect with their inner being C. To get materials for the temple
2. What did the rejected shepherd of Zechariah do with the two staffs, Favor and Union(NIV)? A. He broke them B. He rubbed them together to make a fire C. He played fetch with his trained sheep named Earl.
3. In apocalyptic genres, we are to take the images and A. wash their mouths out with soap b. literally c. as symbolic.
4. Gomer was A. a marine who served under Sgt. Carter b. the prostitute who married Hosea c. Micah’s horse.
5. A typical locust plague lasted A. 5 months B. 5 years C. 5 nanoseconds
6. Who was robbing God? A. the temple priests B. Jesse and Frank James C. The I.R.S.
7. Edom was condemned in Obadiah for A. playing with a pair of loaded dice B. giving Judah grief during their time of trial C. for licking the center out of their Oreos
8. A "day of the Lord" meant A. everyone had a day off B. you could get 25% off on all items down at Achmed’s C. a day of judgment was coming.
9. Habakkuk was confident that God’s goodness would prevent him from A. using a foreign army to punish his people B. letting Achmed’s horse win at the Judah Derby C. making the people eat liver.
10. What did it cost Hosea to get his wife back? A. 15 shekels B. 15 minutes of fame C. his soul
Yeah, I know, way too easy although some folks might debate the answer on #10. If you are feeling cocky, here are another 8 for you to take a shot at...
1. God preferred justice, humility, and mercy over A. sacrifice B. chocolate C. a really cool ride.
2. Jonah wanted to die when A. the Assyrians were wearing white after September B. he consumed a bad burrito C. his vine got wormy.
3. In the locust plagues of Joel, the locusts keep eating until A. the cows come home B. all vegetation was gone C. there was nothing left to eat but liver (which is why they died after five months...ooooo a hint for a previous question!).
4. God’s displeasure at the priests in Malachi was shown when he threatened to A. cover them in honey and stake them to ant beds B. make them eat liver C. smear their faces in offal.
5. Amos said he wasn’t A. a prophet or the son of a prophet B. going to eat his lima beans and you couldn’t make him C. able to eat just one potato chip.
6. Obadiah said the people of Edom would be defeated despite their A. good looks B. living among the crags of their mountain fortress C. running the spread offense.
7. Zechariah had a vision of a woman A. in a basket B. being on time C. driving without stopping and asking for directions.
8. Because of Judah’s unfaithfulness, God broke A. bread with them B. his covenant with them C. a nail.
Well let me know how you did, you Minor Prophet scholars you...
Now I try to make my tests fun and try to make them fairly easy. To take away test anxiety, I split up the room into teams. Everyone works together on their team and the team that finishes first wins a prize. Below is a sample from the test. Try your luck and see if you get the answers right...
1. Haggai wanted the people to go to the mountains for what? A. To get wood for a doozy of a barbecue B. To reconnect with their inner being C. To get materials for the temple
2. What did the rejected shepherd of Zechariah do with the two staffs, Favor and Union(NIV)? A. He broke them B. He rubbed them together to make a fire C. He played fetch with his trained sheep named Earl.
3. In apocalyptic genres, we are to take the images and A. wash their mouths out with soap b. literally c. as symbolic.
4. Gomer was A. a marine who served under Sgt. Carter b. the prostitute who married Hosea c. Micah’s horse.
5. A typical locust plague lasted A. 5 months B. 5 years C. 5 nanoseconds
6. Who was robbing God? A. the temple priests B. Jesse and Frank James C. The I.R.S.
7. Edom was condemned in Obadiah for A. playing with a pair of loaded dice B. giving Judah grief during their time of trial C. for licking the center out of their Oreos
8. A "day of the Lord" meant A. everyone had a day off B. you could get 25% off on all items down at Achmed’s C. a day of judgment was coming.
9. Habakkuk was confident that God’s goodness would prevent him from A. using a foreign army to punish his people B. letting Achmed’s horse win at the Judah Derby C. making the people eat liver.
10. What did it cost Hosea to get his wife back? A. 15 shekels B. 15 minutes of fame C. his soul
Yeah, I know, way too easy although some folks might debate the answer on #10. If you are feeling cocky, here are another 8 for you to take a shot at...
1. God preferred justice, humility, and mercy over A. sacrifice B. chocolate C. a really cool ride.
2. Jonah wanted to die when A. the Assyrians were wearing white after September B. he consumed a bad burrito C. his vine got wormy.
3. In the locust plagues of Joel, the locusts keep eating until A. the cows come home B. all vegetation was gone C. there was nothing left to eat but liver (which is why they died after five months...ooooo a hint for a previous question!).
4. God’s displeasure at the priests in Malachi was shown when he threatened to A. cover them in honey and stake them to ant beds B. make them eat liver C. smear their faces in offal.
5. Amos said he wasn’t A. a prophet or the son of a prophet B. going to eat his lima beans and you couldn’t make him C. able to eat just one potato chip.
6. Obadiah said the people of Edom would be defeated despite their A. good looks B. living among the crags of their mountain fortress C. running the spread offense.
7. Zechariah had a vision of a woman A. in a basket B. being on time C. driving without stopping and asking for directions.
8. Because of Judah’s unfaithfulness, God broke A. bread with them B. his covenant with them C. a nail.
Well let me know how you did, you Minor Prophet scholars you...
posted by Frustrated Writer | 6:30 AM
5 Comments:
I'll give you a hint. The answer to #1 is C.
At least I know I got #1 right. I think I got a few others too, even though I've never read anything pertaining to what your lesson was about. Besides, I only want to make a major prophet...I'm in business for myself you know? (yes, I do know that it's a different spelling...come on!)
My answers for the first part are:
1.A, 2.C, 3.A, 4.A, 5.C, 6.C, 7.C, 8.B, 9.B, 10.B.
I'll have to think about doing part 2. There is a rumour going around that I spend too much time watching TCM and thus I might be a little rusty on a Bible quiz. Before I attempt your second Bible quiz, I will have to wait until the "elders" check my answers on the first one. That should happen as soon as several movies they want to see on AMC are over.
I must say tubby that you picked all of the fun answers which may be beneficial in the long run if you were smiling while doing so.
tim-tam - who doesn't want to make a major prophet?
You and our Director of REligious Ed would get along great! I will have to show these to her.
Post a Comment
<< Home