Signs The Hotel You Are Staying At Is In Trouble

I am a board member for a small local non-profit and this past weekend was our regional conference and meeting. We were booked to stay in a hotel that once was a Holiday Inn but had been sold to someone else who is obviously trying to refurbish and renovate the six story hotel in a low budget way. Here are some of the signs that things may not be going well for them.

1. When the only guests booked are from your small conference.
2. When the parking lot is totally empty except for a few state vehicles.
3. When you walk into the lobby and smell a strong sewer smell and the clerk cheerfully tells you, "Oh, it's only gas. Don't worry about it."
4. The halls and lobby aren't air-conditioned.
5. Your room has a spiritual feel to it because the furniture is "holey"
6. Your room has an HBO guide in it and the television guide says you can watch HBO on channel 67. Your TV only has 62 channels...
7. The clerk is still wearing her scrubs from her shift at the local hospital.
8. The waitress at the breakfast bar tells you they brew coffee only when it is needed so it may be a few minutes before she can get you a cup of coffee.
9. The Sports Bar is closed to licensing issues a few technocalities they have with the State.
10. Your maid service has only one cart for the whole hotel.
11. The soaps and shampoos don't match.
12. Your towels, which are supposed to be white, are all different shades of white.
13. The water in your shower starts off being the color of rust.
14. Pet hair is on the bedspread.
15. The air-conditioners in the rooms are on timers.
16. The complimentary newspaper has been stamped to say they have charged you .13 cents for the newspaper but if you don't read it, you can return it to the front desk for a .13 cents refund.
17. Your lobby furniture has been decorated with plastic flowers... not the nicer silk kind, but the dollar store kind.
18. The night time clerk wears kevlar.
19. There is a sign in the hall that says, "Please respect the privacy of other guests and take your gunfights outside."
20. The cockroach sitting on the toilet, reading your .13 newspaper while smoking a cigar, says, "How ya doing. If you want some coffee make it yourself. I made it last night. Now shut the door, I like my privacy."