Thoughts crossing my mind waiting in line at the grocery store
"Man, I wonder if he is going to drink all that beer by himself."
"Oh my, that is one sticky glob of kid there. Must be two or three suckers worth of stickiness on him. Hope he can get out of that basket. Probably take the chrome off he is so sticky."
"Man that guy looks miserable. Well no wonder, that lady hasn't stopped griping at him since the frozen food section. Wonder if it is hormonal."
"Hmm, they have Reese's Peanut Butter Cups on sale which means I could feed a bad habit at an economic rate making me impending heart attack less expensive in the long run since it didn't cost me as much to get to the surgeon's table.... I'll think I'll take a bag. No, be good... be good... where is the fruit when you need it? It must be providence that there is no fruit in sight. I'll take the small bag."
"Now that is one ugly tattoo. Must have been a heck of a party before they started burning that one on."
"Ooooh, cleavage."
"Oh man, the lady checker I like is leaving and that snotty nosed kid with the oozing pimple is going to check me out. I wonder if that is the same pimple from last time. If it is, why doesn't he just pop it? You know, a quick squeeze, a huge squishy ploop and wallah, no ugly white oozing stuff. Wonder if he would be offended if I poked at it with my pen."
"Ooooh, that kid almost didn't make it out of the basket cause of all that stickiness. Wait, mom is giving him another sucker? Yikes, why would you add another layer of sugarized velcro onto the mess you already have? Look, the checker is trying not to gag. This might be fun."
"$45.92? Are you charging me by the ounce?"
"Lady, your sticky kid is reaching for me, lady.... watch the kid, watch the kid... eeeeeewwwwww, I hope this will come out of my shirt. Oh man, now my shirt is sticking to my skin. Probably have baby cooties now. Sheesh. Probably couldn've handled that better. Maybe I shouldn't have screamed when the kid touched me. I think mom just questioned my heritage. Time to pay pimple boy and leave... quickly..."
"Oh my, that is one sticky glob of kid there. Must be two or three suckers worth of stickiness on him. Hope he can get out of that basket. Probably take the chrome off he is so sticky."
"Man that guy looks miserable. Well no wonder, that lady hasn't stopped griping at him since the frozen food section. Wonder if it is hormonal."
"Hmm, they have Reese's Peanut Butter Cups on sale which means I could feed a bad habit at an economic rate making me impending heart attack less expensive in the long run since it didn't cost me as much to get to the surgeon's table.... I'll think I'll take a bag. No, be good... be good... where is the fruit when you need it? It must be providence that there is no fruit in sight. I'll take the small bag."
"Now that is one ugly tattoo. Must have been a heck of a party before they started burning that one on."
"Ooooh, cleavage."
"Oh man, the lady checker I like is leaving and that snotty nosed kid with the oozing pimple is going to check me out. I wonder if that is the same pimple from last time. If it is, why doesn't he just pop it? You know, a quick squeeze, a huge squishy ploop and wallah, no ugly white oozing stuff. Wonder if he would be offended if I poked at it with my pen."
"Ooooh, that kid almost didn't make it out of the basket cause of all that stickiness. Wait, mom is giving him another sucker? Yikes, why would you add another layer of sugarized velcro onto the mess you already have? Look, the checker is trying not to gag. This might be fun."
"$45.92? Are you charging me by the ounce?"
"Lady, your sticky kid is reaching for me, lady.... watch the kid, watch the kid... eeeeeewwwwww, I hope this will come out of my shirt. Oh man, now my shirt is sticking to my skin. Probably have baby cooties now. Sheesh. Probably couldn've handled that better. Maybe I shouldn't have screamed when the kid touched me. I think mom just questioned my heritage. Time to pay pimple boy and leave... quickly..."
posted by Frustrated Writer | 5:23 PM
8 Comments:
Hehe! I think sucker boy would make a great character for a horror/comedy flick. Along the lines of Jason or Chucky...
There you are, making out with your fling in the forest when BAM! there's sticky sucker-licker with a baseball bat!
oh man! remind me to not look up next time I'm at the grocery store. I can do without sticky kids and oozing zits.
hey! i was that pimply cash dude! no, i wouldn't've minded at all if you stuck a pen at me pimples. actually, would laikes-it-alot!!!
LOL. If it was me with the beer on Saturday night then yes, I was planning on drinking all of them.
As for sticky little kids, I don't let little kids touch me...except my own kid. A boy I had a crush on in university didn't talk to me after he witnessed me stand on a chair to get away from a snot-nosed kid who was trying to touch my walkman. I guess he wasn't impressed that I didn't have a motherly instinct.
This is hysterical! I love people watching.
This made me laugh. Yeah public bouts of screaming are not usually acceptable in most societies.
LMAO! and so close to having pop shoot out my nose. brilliant! and no, no picture of that either ;)
have a great night!
Brilliant! I love people watching as well. Sugarized velcro indeed.
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