Tuesday Tidbits 08/22/06
Yes! It is time for another addition of the Tuesday Tidbits where we live by the principle of providing positively useless information that might be partially accurate...
International News
Russians Fear Passenger Plane Might Have Crashed!
A Russian passenger jet with 170 people aboard disappeared from radar screens after sending a distress signal Tuesday and probably crashed, an emergency official said. The plane, on its way from the Black Sea resort of Anapa to St. Petersburg, disappeared from radar screens over Ukraine, Emergency Situations Ministry spokeswoman Yulia Stadnikova said.
"So it crashed?" was a question repeatedly asked by the few media members who were still sober enough to ask questions. Yulia Stadnikova would not be pinned down with a definitive answer and responded, "No, we think might have crashed as it has disappeared from the radar screen and has been missing now for several hours."
"How much fuel did the plane have?"
"Enough for a four hour flight."
"How long has the flight been missing?"
"No more than six hours. Hey, we don't know that this craft has crashed. Oh sure there have been some sighting of debris in the Ukraine, but you know those silly Russian pilots, always playing around with us. For all we know they are all sipping vodka and giggling at you for getting all upset about this tiny little blip disappearing off the radar screen."
"This seems more than just a tiny blip disappearing from the radar screen. Are you trying to cover up this story?" An obviously peturbed Stadnikova left the room in a huff shouting back at the reporters,
"Have I ever covered up anything from you? Who told you about the small meltdown at Chernobyl? A small incident that didn't amount to much but I, Stadnikova, told you about it. Oh go drink your vodka!"
Officials promise to report any findings as soon as they are found to be reportable.
National News
Karr Kept Comfy While Waiting for Colorado
The man suspected of killing JonBenet Ramsey is sitting in a secluded area of the Twin Towers facility in Los Angeles waiting for his first court appearance on US soil. His attourneys are quick to say the seclusion is for Karr's own safety as one of the other 3,500 inmates might want to hurt him. Karr doesn't seem to mind the seclusion saying he hopes to hear from some of his friends and maybe hang out with them until a decision has been made on whether or not he heads to Colorado for trial.
"I sure hope Michael is town. It would be cool to hang with him for a bit before they send me to court..."
"This man is not crazy," shouted Karr's attourney. "A little mixed up and possibly evil and vile, but he is definitely not crazy."
On another note, the increased sale of ropes in Colorado has many speculating how long the trial of Karr will last. "Well I hope they hold off on trying the man for at least another three weeks so we can end up on a positive note for this quarter," said hardware store owner Bernie Bauchman. "It sure would help us through the lean months leading up to Christmas."
State News
School van driver arrested with a van full of children!
A Harris County Sheriff’s deputy pulled over a 15-passenger van full of kids for an expired registration. Upon further inspection the deputy found the female driver, Kimberly Righteous, 28, was wanted on 11 outstanding warrants including a 1996 theft charge, so he took her into custody.
The van is believed to be connected to Rosa’s School, a primary education and after school program that and has been operating for years. The woman who called herself the school director was defensive about the hiring of an obvious felon to drive children to and from school.
"Do you know how hard it is to get good drivers these days? Ms. Righteous is an accomplished driver and had excellent references that touted her ability to flee from a curb, blend into traffic, and escape from pursuing vehicles. This kind of talent isn't available to you every day and besides, the kids love her and enjoy her stories. We are sure there is a mix up somewhere and Ms. Righteous will be back driving our vans in no time."
At press time Ms. Righteous was still in the Harris County Jail planning her getaway once bail had been posted.
Editorial
Life about to be back to normal
Texans are looking forward to the next few weeks with an anticipatory giddiness as they know life as they know it is about to return to normal. Yes, you've got it, Football season is about to start! Once again the week can be planned easily as you set your schedules to fit the football schedule of your local school team with Saturday and Sunday bringing you joy in the form of the NCAA and the NFL. Let me demonstrate how wonderful football season is to the person who lives by scheduling events.
International News
Russians Fear Passenger Plane Might Have Crashed!
A Russian passenger jet with 170 people aboard disappeared from radar screens after sending a distress signal Tuesday and probably crashed, an emergency official said. The plane, on its way from the Black Sea resort of Anapa to St. Petersburg, disappeared from radar screens over Ukraine, Emergency Situations Ministry spokeswoman Yulia Stadnikova said.
"So it crashed?" was a question repeatedly asked by the few media members who were still sober enough to ask questions. Yulia Stadnikova would not be pinned down with a definitive answer and responded, "No, we think might have crashed as it has disappeared from the radar screen and has been missing now for several hours."
"How much fuel did the plane have?"
"Enough for a four hour flight."
"How long has the flight been missing?"
"No more than six hours. Hey, we don't know that this craft has crashed. Oh sure there have been some sighting of debris in the Ukraine, but you know those silly Russian pilots, always playing around with us. For all we know they are all sipping vodka and giggling at you for getting all upset about this tiny little blip disappearing off the radar screen."
"This seems more than just a tiny blip disappearing from the radar screen. Are you trying to cover up this story?" An obviously peturbed Stadnikova left the room in a huff shouting back at the reporters,
"Have I ever covered up anything from you? Who told you about the small meltdown at Chernobyl? A small incident that didn't amount to much but I, Stadnikova, told you about it. Oh go drink your vodka!"
Officials promise to report any findings as soon as they are found to be reportable.
National News
Karr Kept Comfy While Waiting for Colorado
The man suspected of killing JonBenet Ramsey is sitting in a secluded area of the Twin Towers facility in Los Angeles waiting for his first court appearance on US soil. His attourneys are quick to say the seclusion is for Karr's own safety as one of the other 3,500 inmates might want to hurt him. Karr doesn't seem to mind the seclusion saying he hopes to hear from some of his friends and maybe hang out with them until a decision has been made on whether or not he heads to Colorado for trial.
"I sure hope Michael is town. It would be cool to hang with him for a bit before they send me to court..."
"This man is not crazy," shouted Karr's attourney. "A little mixed up and possibly evil and vile, but he is definitely not crazy."
On another note, the increased sale of ropes in Colorado has many speculating how long the trial of Karr will last. "Well I hope they hold off on trying the man for at least another three weeks so we can end up on a positive note for this quarter," said hardware store owner Bernie Bauchman. "It sure would help us through the lean months leading up to Christmas."
State News
School van driver arrested with a van full of children!
A Harris County Sheriff’s deputy pulled over a 15-passenger van full of kids for an expired registration. Upon further inspection the deputy found the female driver, Kimberly Righteous, 28, was wanted on 11 outstanding warrants including a 1996 theft charge, so he took her into custody.
The van is believed to be connected to Rosa’s School, a primary education and after school program that and has been operating for years. The woman who called herself the school director was defensive about the hiring of an obvious felon to drive children to and from school.
"Do you know how hard it is to get good drivers these days? Ms. Righteous is an accomplished driver and had excellent references that touted her ability to flee from a curb, blend into traffic, and escape from pursuing vehicles. This kind of talent isn't available to you every day and besides, the kids love her and enjoy her stories. We are sure there is a mix up somewhere and Ms. Righteous will be back driving our vans in no time."
At press time Ms. Righteous was still in the Harris County Jail planning her getaway once bail had been posted.
Editorial
Life about to be back to normal
Texans are looking forward to the next few weeks with an anticipatory giddiness as they know life as they know it is about to return to normal. Yes, you've got it, Football season is about to start! Once again the week can be planned easily as you set your schedules to fit the football schedule of your local school team with Saturday and Sunday bringing you joy in the form of the NCAA and the NFL. Let me demonstrate how wonderful football season is to the person who lives by scheduling events.
- Tuesday afternoon - Games for Pop Warner teams are played at local parks
- Wednesday afternoon - inter city middle schools play games at school football fields.
- Thursday afternoon - Freshman and JV games are played at the high school stadium
- Friday night - Varsity football at the stadium, be sure to pack along a radio so you can listen to how the other teams are doing around the area.
- Saturday afternoon and night - Texas plays! Oh, I think there are other college teams playing too...
- Sunday and Monday - NFL baby, football games galore!
During the off times you have ESPN Classic to watch those great games of the past. You also have Sports Center to help keep the edge off.
Yuppers, life is almost back to normal...
Movie Review
Bruce's 16 Blocks Should've Ended 15 Blocks Earlier!
I watched 16 Blocks on DVD this past weekend and thinking it had all the elements of a great guy flick I found myself a bit disappointed in the storyline. Bruce Willis is a drunk, disgraced cop, who in a moment of conflict, finds a chance for redemption and a chance to go out with valor and honor. Hmm... somehow I think this storyline has been done like a million times with Bruce Willis being the lead actor.
Let's get original Hollywood! I give this film one half of a quill because there were some good shooting scenes and you should get credit for any exciting gun play in a flick. The rest of the film deserves to be seen from the bottom of an empty bourbon bottle.
Disclaimer; all facts and stories reported here are again questionable at best. Quote at your own risk.
posted by Frustrated Writer | 6:10 AM
2 Comments:
yea! tidbits!
sure did make my day a lot brighter.
have a good one!
That's sad to hear about 16 Blocks. I had wanted to see it. Probably won't rush out now.
I do like your tidbits. They make me smile.
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