Step 1
Monday night at Al Anon was step 1 night, admitting we were powerless to control people, places, or circumstances. As I listened to the folks around the table talk I had to admit this is not an easy step to practice. I think we all admit we can't control other people and their actions, but that doesn't mean we like it or wouldn't like to try.
For me the tough part is accepting the thought of working on me and not worrying about them. I believe they call that the "fixer syndrome" and I know I suffer from it on a large scale.
Which brings me to the three sets of folks who I need to grasp this concept and incorporate it into my life:
1. Family
2. Employees
3. Friends
The consequences of not following this concept tends to be anger, frustration, and exhaustion. To many times I find I am a modern day Jonah, who in his inability to control the situation tells God, "Hey, just shoot me." Okay that is a paraphrase to the max as a) there were no firearms yet so it would've been kind of difficult unless an arrow was used and b) Jonah was much more dramatic than that. Still, the concept is the same as are the consequences when I can't seem to let go of the control.
Perhaps some of the issue is embedded in a deep distrust in people in general to get the job done and perhaps even more of the issue is from having a cynical heart. However, I am working on this step and on days I totally fail at it (yesterday would be a good example) I end the day making amends and go to sleep determined to do better on the morrow.
Sigh, the steps ain't so easy.
For me the tough part is accepting the thought of working on me and not worrying about them. I believe they call that the "fixer syndrome" and I know I suffer from it on a large scale.
Which brings me to the three sets of folks who I need to grasp this concept and incorporate it into my life:
1. Family
2. Employees
3. Friends
The consequences of not following this concept tends to be anger, frustration, and exhaustion. To many times I find I am a modern day Jonah, who in his inability to control the situation tells God, "Hey, just shoot me." Okay that is a paraphrase to the max as a) there were no firearms yet so it would've been kind of difficult unless an arrow was used and b) Jonah was much more dramatic than that. Still, the concept is the same as are the consequences when I can't seem to let go of the control.
Perhaps some of the issue is embedded in a deep distrust in people in general to get the job done and perhaps even more of the issue is from having a cynical heart. However, I am working on this step and on days I totally fail at it (yesterday would be a good example) I end the day making amends and go to sleep determined to do better on the morrow.
Sigh, the steps ain't so easy.
Labels: Workin' the steps
posted by Frustrated Writer | 3:54 AM
2 Comments:
I would love to have a mind control device that turns my coworkers into my minions. :-\
It's really hard to step back and let a situation do what a situation is going to do.
It is difficult, maybe one of the most difficult things in life, to sit back and not try to influence a situation.
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