Evening Party

Just got back in from a fun evening party that substituted for a monthly Board Meeting. The food was great, the drinks cold, the people friendly. It occurred to me not all such gatherings are so congenial and there just might be those awkward moments when people are standing in a stilted pose wondering what the heck to say next... anything to get the conversation going. You are in luck because here are 10 guaranteed conversation starters.

1. Hey, wanna see my red speedo? (See Kevin, I do mention you in my blog...)
2. Wow, I thought you were going to have plastic surgery and fix that nose. What? You did?
3. This food sure looks good. Reminds me of the can of Whiskas Premium Fluffy and I shared last night.
4. Man, the sewer at my house has backed up into the house and you know it smells a lot like this salad here... and those raisins sort of look like...
5. Do you think this margarita will affect my lithium? I'm feeling a little manic...
6. Wow, today was all you can eat beans down at Stumpys. I tell you what, I got my $4.95 worth!
7. Is that a cat you have sitting on your couch? I hate cats. I like to rub 'em down with Vaseline and then watch them try to get themselves clean. Luckily, I saw some Vaseline in your medicine cabinet when I was using the facilities...
8. Hey gang, I brought my Twister game! Anyone up for a game of Strip Twister?
9. Guess what part of my body I'm missing...
10. So when are the party girls going to get here?

Yup, you can thank me later for these jewels. I suspect you can come up with a conversation starter or two on your own. I'll be waiting...