Thirteen Things I Believe About Christmas

1. I believe Santa Clause should be witty, fun, and a pleasant experience for the kids.
2. I believe if the child is terrified and doesn't want to sit in a strange man's suit, especially if he is wearing a fake wig, hair, and a smarmy red suit, then you shouldn't make them.
3. I believe kids are getting more and more cynical about Christmas. Wonder where that comes from...?
4. I believe Christmas music is great stuff. They should play it all year.
5. I believe the chestnuts have roasted over the open fire long enough. Time to bury that song.
6. I believe singing to a Christmas Tree is fairly close to singing to a fire hydrant. Neither one makes sense to me.
7. I believe adults who sit on Santa's lap and ask for a) husband b) girl/boy friend or c) fiance' are probably destined to live sad lonely lives.
8. I believe fruitcakes should be labeled as hazardous materials.
9. I believe Salvation Army bell ringers who harass shoppers probably don't get the same amount of donations as the quieter ones who graciously say, "thank you" when you toss money into the pot.
10. I believe Rudolph is a prima donna and most likely a cross dresser.
11. I believe people are more generous at Christmas and that is a good thing. I wish they would stay that generous all year.
12. I believe that the spirit of Christmas does exist, most often in the hearts of small children or the elderly.
13. I believe everyone should pause for a few minutes, enjoying a moment of quiet reflection on the true meaning of Christmas, and then in the spirit of generosity, write the ol' Frustrated a rather large check. Money orders and cash are also accepted.

Merry Christmas Ya'll!