Yeah, a Love Poem for Valentines Day

I know this seems to contradicting my previous post but hey, who can pass up a chance to write a poem on a day that just oozes poetry? Not me...

I searched for a card that said
The feelings I have in my head
About how I want you to be mine
And how I think you are so fine.

But the cards didn't really say
What I felt on this lover's day
So I thought I would get candy
Since that is considered just dandy.

Alas, chocolate makes you break out
And your swelling looks like gout
So I thought "Why not a rose?"
"They're romantic, I suppose."

But who knew you once had fell
On a thorny rose covered knell
And the scratches became infected
Now pain with roses is connected.

I tried jewelry but who knew
What metals can do to you?
My wits end was quickly appearing
And romance seem to be disappearing.

Then Eros allowed me concession
Sating my romantic obsession
When you choked on dinner's entre'
And the Heimlich I did display

But I think the lovely sound
Of the water glass the particle found
Was perhaps my true love expression
Now demonstrated in a stomach compression.

Top that one Hallmark.

Reggie Rag

Gather 'round my friends and listen clear
'Cause we got a new dance for you my dear
It's called the Reggie Rag you know
In honor of him taking all that dough.

Kick those heels, make that flip
Reggie's family take another dip
For more bucks out of an agent's bag
Now we're doing the Reggie rag.

Live rent free in a mansion sweet
Cause we love your hands and feet
As they race to score once more
For ol' USC and agents galore.

Is it illegal, do we care?
That's a Heisman he's carrying there
And don't forget the championships
Courtesy of Reggie's elusive hips.

So kick those heels, make that flip
Reggie's family takes another dip
For more bucks out of an agent's bag
Now we're doing the Reggie rag.

As a big fan of college football, situations like these really get to you because it weakens the sport. There is an issue that needs to be addressed as far as compensation for the players who basically can't work because the sport they play is their work. But for now rules are rules and to put your team's accomplishments into jeopardy is just insane. I guess I am wondering what happens to the Heisman if he is found guilty. I know the team will be stripped of its championship, but has anyone considered how that will affect Will Farrel? We it make him do another asinine movie? These are consequences we must all consider.

Oh Reggie...

If Willy Shakespeare Were Writing Today

If Willy Shakespeare wrote today
Tapping his faithful keyboard,
Just what would Willy have to say
That would fancy both rich and poor?
Would he write spine tingling thrillers
Or would he be a man of mystery?
Perhaps he would cast Ben Stiller
For the lead in his life's history.
I have no doubt he would produce
A play that would bring down the house.
Provided he could reduce
His temptations to plagerize Faust.

Happy New Years!

The ball has fallen
The champagne drunk
A New Year's callin'
We're minus one skunk.
I hope it's good
I hope you're happy
You know you should
Avoid all that's crappy.
So we get
Another shot at life
But it's a safe bet
There will be some strife.
But I hope you escape
From the worst of it all
Taking life by the nape
And shake it till it squalls.

Happy New Year everybody!

Plumbing Blues

So I'm putting in the kids' Christmas present to their mother and horror of horrors, the job that should take two hour max ends up taking all day. Plumbing never comes easy and sure enough, one pipe breaks, another is weak, and before you know it I am revamping all of the pipes underneath the house.

This morning I am sore from bumps, scratches, and having been in positions that would have made a yoga guru proud.

So a poem is bubbling out... I just feel it!

Why is it that projects simple
Seldom work out like we plan
And become the proverbial pimple
On the butt of frustrated man?

I offer you plumbing
As an example quaint
Cause it is quite numbing
When what should be, ain't.

Chasing one problem after another
You find your project grows
And you'll be crying "mother"
Fighting your plumbing woes.

So what is the lesson taught
As you are feeling dumber?
You should do as you ought
Spend the bucks, pay a plumber.

Hanging Out with Saddam

So you've had your trial
You've made your peace
And in a little while
Your life will cease.
So at the end
Of a new rope
Your nation will send
Up cheers of hope.
So Mr. Butcher of Bagdad
As you drop through
We won't be sad
To be rid of you.
While scholars are debating
I must secretly confess
I hope the 70 virgins waiting
All have PMS.

A Christmas Blessing

Merry Christmas everyone!

May the day be blessed
May you find a bit of peace
May you be free of stress
And may anxieties cease.

May you be surrounded
By family and friends
And may you not be pounded
By the Christmas blues fiends.

May you end this day
With a contented sigh
And may your head lay
With loved ones near by.

Merry Christmas from Frustrated and mi familia!

Taking some time off...

Next week I am actually going to take three to four days off from work. I am so looking forward to having the time to sit back and chill with the kids, my parents, and a few of my siblings. It will be a blessed break from the long hours and hard pressed days.

I hope all of you get the same opportunity!

So in celebration of those days away, a poem.

I Ain't Gonna Be There

Don't call me at work
Thinking you will get me
'Cause I have a perk
Called "days off" you see.
I'll be kickin' back
Sippin' coffee and such
Losing complete track
Not thinking about much.
So if you search for moi
Wanting my time so rare
Don't look at work Francois
'Cause I ain't gonna be there.

Friday finally

It is Friday morning, early, and I'm looking towards some quality writing time so I can finish up grants that are due today. A Board meeting at noon... Laundry to pick up... Lights to hang... Food to cook for a meal ... if that doesn't inspire poetry, nothing else will...

Friday Lament

Well it is Friday, my friend
A week of utter insanity
I hoped someone would extend
A chance to re-enter humanity.

People have demanded my time
Appointments out the wahzoo
I wonder if it would be a crime
If I snuck off and hung with you.

A moment to get away from it all
And let my mind wash clear
Of deadlines, reports and pitfalls
Just hanging with a friend so dear.

Oh well the clock is ticking
Another day of challenges to meet
But if I was doing the picking
Friday, we'd be hitting the street.

Hope your Friday and weekend are good ones!

Baby It's Cold Outside

Well finally we've got some snow on the ground and the thermometer shows a brisk 25 degrees outside with a wind chill of 12 degrees. Yes! I am sipping coffee and watching the snow fall, what a treat!

I'm hoping the white stuff sticks around for the rest of the day. I needs me some snow!

So to celebrate the cold and the snow, a little ditty...

I likes me some white stuff
Falling from the sky
It doesn't stay long enough
For this cold weather guy.
I like to see covered trees
And crystals on the glass
As long as pipes don't freeze
Or I have to get my car gas.
Let it snow my good fellow
We'll toss a snowball or two
Just don't use snow that's yellow
Or smelly snow that sticks to shoes.

Keep warm everyone!

Post Thanksgiving

The bird's been 'et
The folks have run
Lest we forget
There's dishes to be done.

Ode to a Turkey

Oh Mr. Turkey all juicy and fat
Cooking nicely in the roaster.
Surrounded by dressing that goes splat
Made from old bread toasted.

You had such a cute name, I recall
When wrapped in netted white.
We lovingly called you "Butterball"
Looking forward to a feasting delight.

Now you're a gorgeous brown
Smelling like heaven has descended
Folks are starting to gather round
To devour you as intended.

So on this day of giving thanks
I thank you Mr. Turkey
For being there for our hungry ranks
And not being made of tofurkey.

A late night moment of reflection

It is just now past midnight in Atlanta and we have finished for the day.

I am beat. I am thinking having 18 CEOs in a room trying to come to an agreement over a powerpoint presentation is about as effective as trying to nail jello to a tree. We finally did finish the rough and have another two sessions to gather and fine tune the presentation. The interesting part is the group is highly intelligent, talented, and resourceful. Perhaps what prohibits positive progress is the river of strong personalities and opinions that flood the room.

Oh well, the presentation will be good. I think.

So on this early morning I think I will go to bed with a few lines of randomness...

They tell me this city is full
Of crime and wicked deceit
I'm sure there are men who'll
Kill you on these wet cold streets

Perhaps the cold I feel inside
Isn't from fear of evil or the cold
But is from having to abide
In this city of red and gold.

I'm so tired I can't even think
So weary there's an ache in my bones
I would go home in a blink
Instead of staying here all alone.

So as the fog settles into the mass
Of grey matter called my brain
I am wishing the rain will pass
So I can remain sane.

Happy Wednesday Ya'll!

Hanging with Saddam

Folks gather in the courtroom
Smile at Saddam and say
"What is sweeter than a desert bloom?
Could it be your execution day?"

Saddam smiles and shakes a finger
Holds the Koran high and shouts
"Allah is good, he won't make me linger
And I hope he kills you louts."

Judge man giggles and slaps his gavel
"Saddam you are one funny guy!
'Cause when that rope has unravelled
You gonna break your neck and die!"

Shites applaud with delight while saying
"Saddam is gone, he's toast!
Deliverance came from all our praying
Saddam can go to hell and roast!"

Saddam looks startled and maybe mad
Realizing they don't want to hang
With the one and only king of Bahgdad
And be considered as one of his gang.

"I can see you're not so inclined
To hang with Iraq's own Adolph
So your kind offer I think I'll decline
I'll just go to the desert and golf."

Poor Saddam doesn't quite get it
His ruling days are really through
There's a bucket and he's gonna kick it
He's gonna dance with Satan's crew.

When did the Underground get so trendy?

I went to visit Atlanta
Hoping to capture a childhood dream
But land sakes, pass the Mylanta
'Cause the Underground has gone extreme.

Historical arcades and ancient cafes
Are replaced by stores with themes
Surrounding a brightly colored array
Of kiosks peddling the dream.

I miss the old ceiling of steel supported asphalt
Now replaced by preformed beams of concrete.
I am not sure what fiend is at fault
At removing the soul of the place complete.

When did the Underground become so trendy
And why did they kill the joy of the place?
I long for the Underground that was windy
With the city's character etched on its face.

Strong Women

In recent discussions with a friend I made a rather rash statement that women divorced themselves from chivalry with ERA in the 70's. Not that it was a bad thing, I just think they threw out some basic manners when all of a sudden men were not to open a door for a lady or assist her in any way.

I could be wrong but the decade that followed of growls, snarls, and snippy comments produced a generation of fearful men who failed to pass on good etiquette to their sons. Maybe the new system is better but I fail to see how being a gentleman threatens the strength of a woman.

Realizing it is wrong to make a broad sweeping statement about any gender, I still want to put out a little something in poetic form...

So a ditty my friends, a ditty indeed.

I went to open her door
She met me with a growl
I stopped, a bit unsure
Until she gave me a nasty scowl.
"It's just a door," says I
But she is having none of it.
"No, it's man's way of getting by
With repressing women's wits!"
"We don't need your faux fancies
Of helping out ladies in distress
We are more than some Jim Dandies
Who can live beyond the dress."
I agreed but tried in vain
To explain my intentions
To save her from the pain
Of a swinging door dimension.
But alas, the woman strong
Succeeded to put me in my place
Despite the painful wrong
Of watching the door hit her in the face.

Life's Cow Patty Blues

As requested by Beverly... A poem about all the sh%% that goes on in life. Not sure what is going on in her life but I do know that at sometime during our existence, we all have to wade through the vast sea of fecal matter we call life. It's not fun, it's no thrill, but when it's done, we'll be stronger still.

Now on to a rather stinky poem...

Sometimes I feel like I'm caught
Among a cosmic movement foul
And everything is for naught
Being dropped from Life's lower bowel.

Sometimes I land on top
And that seems almost divine
When I can breathe in the flop
From Life's cosmic bovine.

Sometimes the bottom's my place
And the view is rather dim
As the cow patty splatters my face
And my success seems rather slim.

But I remember that everyone
Will experience the bottom and top
What will matter is what they've done
No matter where they've been dropped.

So friend when life seems so foul
And you're the bottom of a cow patty plop
Let your friends hand you a towel
And help you come out on top.

Speaking from experience, it is our friends who do get us through the rough times. I can think of several who have been there during the good times and the stinky times and for them you thank the good Lord for such a blessing.

My Tense Defense

I apologize for all of the poems of late, just in that kind of mood.

She said I seemed tense
I said I wasn't though
She pondered my defense
I wished it wasn't so.
He said I should relax
I said I was simply limp
His face denied those facts
I felt like such a simp.
They said I needed to chill
I said I'm cucumber cool
They could determine still
My denying made me a fool.
I wished my muscles pliable
I wished my brain to clear
But it seem my ol' reliables
Could not bring relief near.

A Matter of Respect

So a kid looks at me and says
"Why should I obey your rules?"
A fair question for the day
I think, as I sat upon my stool.
"Maybe because I sign your check
Or maybe because you agreed
To follow policy and specs
And help children succeed.
You may not remember, I suspect
The reason we are all here
It is really a matter of respect
For those in our influential sphere.
So that's why you obey the rules
And are constantly aware
That these kids aren't a bunch of fools
And know when we don't care."

Ramadan Blues

A holy month of fasting and prayer
Sharing the joys of life
Meant to remove any cares
From those suffering strife.

Eid al-Fitr brings a feast
To be shared by poor and rich
Cause Allah cares for the least
Hoping all find a joyous niche.

''Eid Mubarak'' is happily heard
Among the streets of Iraq
As terrorists fulfill the absurd
An celebrate with an attack.

"I bring to you Allah's joy
With a feast of goodies today.
Something for girls and boys
Oh look, I'll blow you all away!"

Carnage found in mangled bodies
Innocents dying on the streets
Should make them feel a bit naughty
Cause Allah's joys are truly sweet.

Maybe Muslims have forgotten
Why Ramadan was instituted
Hey! Stop treating people so rotten
And making the holy month polluted.