Thursday 13 for 2/1/07

Thirteen Random Thoughts

1. My staff member called yesterday about his brother. They are waiting one more doctor to take a look and then they will remove the life support. He is 21.

2. My mom is in the hospital having tests run. I am reminded again that life is unpredictable at best.

3. If a red light is burned out in a traffic light, does that mean you can go anytime you wish?

4. Why is it when you honk at a bumper sticker that says "Honk if you love Jesus" you totally upset the owner of the car?

5. So we voted at my service club yesterday on whether we should raise the dues slightly, move to a better location, and avoid having meals served to us that are often presented with additional garnish that is still moving and wiggling on your plate. The move was voted down. I am wondering if they allowed the cockroaches to vote...

6. My neighbor's have a dog that is supposed to be guarding their drive. Every time I take out the trash I sneak up on him, place my trash in the bin, and get back beyond my fence before he even notices I've been within ten feet of him. I'm thinking they may want to get a more enthusiastic dog.

7. My friend is in the hospital for some tests. We went to visit him last night and what a thrill it was to see his smile, his happiness at having three visitors, and most of all, watching him at his social butterfly best. Some of the best moments in life are found in the most interesting places.

8. Took two of my favorite people out to Zuchinni's last night. What a treat to spend time with them!

9. I had a great chat with one of the club members about math. I personally hated math in school but always made good grades in it but this child loves math and went on and on about how she handled the more difficult math problems that third grade tosses her way. I think such enthusiasm gives me hope for the next generation.

10. I was watching the shadows of limbs being blown in the wind as they danced across my bedroom ceiling. They looked frazzled, harried, and panicked... if shadows can truly look frazzled, harried, and panicked.

11. Molly Ivins kicked the bucket yesterday. Huh.

12. Sometimes in the morning hours, when sleep in elusive, I wish I could find myself a nice soft patch of grass somewhere in the country where I could lay down and just stare up at the stars.

13. I thought about an old friend who has long since passed from this earth. Lincoln Lohn could always make me laugh, taught me some of the finer points of shooting (which was pretty important to a young boy), but most of all, taught me the tools of the trade in telling a good story. He died alone in a nursing home down in San Marcos. I always wished I could've been there with him, swapping stories and jokes with him until his final breath. He deserved nothing less.

A Steven Wright Sort of a Day

Whenever I just want a smile I like to read Steven Wright quotes... here are a few of my favorites.

My theory of evolution is that Darwin was adopted.

On the other hand, you have different fingers.

Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time.

So, do you live around here often?

Some people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.

When I was crossing the border into Canada, they asked if I had any firearms with me. I said, "Well, what do you need?"

When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, "Did you sleep good?" I said "No, I made a few mistakes."

Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song? The guy who wrote that song wrote everything.

So who makes you grin?

Tradition One - Unity

So last night was tradition night, a discussion of the twelve traditions that go along with the twelve steps. I really wasn't thrilled about having traditions when it is enough work just to do the steps but I am now realizing why they are there.

Unity is tradition one - the fact the AlAnon group is unified in an effort against a common foe, an uncontrolled life of living with someone who is an alcoholic, whether they be family or friend. I think that includes standing together against a common enemy of trying to control the world around you, something everyone in the group suffers from.

Welp, the group told stories, discussed battles won and lost, and explored heartaches and triumphs from their lives. It is a most interesting experience since I know I am witnessing a form of emotional nudity. No one is clothed in pretense, all come baring their souls, sharing their anger, hurt, hope, dispair, or whatever prevelant emotion is hammering them on this day. No one interrupts. No one judges. No one puts them down. They listen. They tell their own story. They stand unified.

Last night I witnessed this on a whole new level. A person coming off the street, thinking we were a church group so that he could ask for ten dollars for a fix. When he realized we were an AlAnon group, he sat down and worked the program, being honest about his intentions and stating what he really needed was a fix... a fix of coming together with a community who understood his addiction, would not feed it, but instead would help him not give into it. No one judged him, they instead embraced him. No, he didn't get the ten bucks, but he left smiling and for a moment he left sober.

So this morning I am wondering why it is our other "communities" are not so supportive. The community we work in every day, the churches we worship in, or even our community of family. Aren't they all full of adversity and challenge? Doesn't everyone deserve the security and hope of having people surround them to support them instead of judging them?

I'm thinking it is a tradition this whole world needs.

Time is the coin of your life.

Time is the coin of your life. It is the only coin you have, and only you can determine how it will be spent. Be careful lest you let other people spend it for you.
Carl Sandburg

Go Carl! You hit this one on the head and these days it seems I am laying that coin down everywhere. Tonight we start doing taxes for people. Yesterday I received word I lost one of my two volunteers which means I am now going to cover one night a week by myself.

Next week we start a mentoring program for kids who want to go to college and help them fill out FAFSAs, hunt for scholarships, and apply for colleges.

I am pretty sure I now officially have no Saturdays free in February.

United Way proposals kick in during March which gives you weeks of late night and weekend sessions of assessing information, building cases for funding, and wrapping it up in a nice presentation for review.

Toss in three major fundraising events between now and the 4th of July...

I think I need a larger denomination of coin.

Hopefully there will be help soon.

A Harsh Reminder

Friday a young man is in my office discussing his future, his dreams, hashing out his options. He has such great potential and talents the only obstacle in his way is himself. The future looks extremely bright for him.

Saturday he is calling me to tell me his brother was in an accident, not expected to make it. Suddenly the future is forgotten and the here and now has his full attention.

In a blink of an eye our perspective is transformed, our priorities changed.

If you are of the praying mindset, I know he and his family would appreciate your prayers.

An Excellent Song

I've been listening to a lot of Nickel Creek lately and this is one of my favorites.

Tomorrow Is a Long Time

performed by Nickel Creek
written by Bob Dylan

If today was not an endless highway,
If tonight was not a crooked trail,
If tomorrow wasn't such a long time,
Then lonesome would mean nothing to you at all.
Yes, and only if my own true love was waitin',
Yes, and if I could hear her heart a-softly poundin',
Only if she was lyin' by me,
Then I'd lie in my bed once again.

I can't see my reflection in the waters,
I can't speak the sounds that show no pain,
I can't hear the echo of my footsteps,
Or can't remember the sound of my own name.
Yes, and only if my own true love was waitin',
Yes, and if I could hear her heart a-softly poundin',
Only if she was lyin' by me,
Then I'd lie in my bed once again.

There's beauty in the silver, singin' river,
There's beauty in the sunrise in the sky,
But none of these and nothing else can touch the beauty
That I remember in my true love's eyes.
Yes, and only if my own true love was waitin',
Yes, and if I could hear her heart a-softly poundin',
Only if she was lyin' by me,
Then I'd lie in my bed once again.

Two Good Flicks and a Song

Saw We Are Marshall and The Freedom Writers last night and I must say both were good movies. Since they are true stories it tends to make them even better and more uplifting.

Freedom Writers really hit home. The kids we serve aren't in as desperate of a situation as the one in the movie as the gang violence isn't anything like that of the major cities in California, but we do get our share of negativism and a sense of there is no way out for so many of the youngsters. To see someone beleive in them and help them rise above the expected failure to become literate and to develop dreams beyond "I want to live until I'm 18" gives a person hope. Like I said, it caught my attention and was just the message I needed.

Last week we had a young girl killed in her bed during a drive by shooting. 3 young men are in custody and are looking at living out lives that are now officially ruined, if they get to live them. They committed this heinous act in a culture of vengence, where no one talks to the police because it would remove their opportunity to strike back. These may not be the streets of L.A. or Long Beach, but they are still dangerous nonetheless creating a sense of angst within the communities.

Last week I suffered another cynical attack when I spent some time before a meeting working puzzles with a bright six year old. She was quick, she picked up on the word recognition almost immediately and was a true joy to listen to and to instruct. Other kids at the table were soon doing puzzles and showing me how good they were at putting them together and pronouncing the words on them. With my whole heart I want everyone of them to beat the street and become viable and contributing citizens in their community but the cynicism strikes and you start to doubt that most will graduate or even secure good jobs.

I realize such doubt and cynicism is the greatest enemy of the kids in the street. It leads to writing them off and looking to put bandaids on gaping wounds. The movie last night was a great reminder that such thoughts have no place in our world and are only good for killing the spirit and the hope of those who need us most.

Do yourself a favor and go see the movie. You won't regret it.

I wish I knew how to do the whole song bit where you can hear them while you read the post, but I don't so I will just post these appropriate lyrics.

When In Rome
performed by Nickel Creek

Where can a sick man go
When he can't choke down the medicine the old doc knows
A specialist came to town, but he stays at home
Sayin', "No one knows, so I don't"
Honey, when in Rome

Where can a teacher go
Wherever she thinks people need the things she knows
Hey those books you gave us look good on the shelves at home
And they'll burn warm in the fireplace
Teacher, when in Rome

Grab a blanket, sister
We'll make smoke signals
Bring some new blood
It feels like we're alone

Grab a blanket, brother
So we don't catch cold
From one another
I wonder if we're stuck in Rome

Where can a dead man go
The question with an answer only dead men know
But I'm gonna bet they never really feel at home
If they spent a lifetime learning
How to live in Rome

Reggie Rag

Gather 'round my friends and listen clear
'Cause we got a new dance for you my dear
It's called the Reggie Rag you know
In honor of him taking all that dough.

Kick those heels, make that flip
Reggie's family take another dip
For more bucks out of an agent's bag
Now we're doing the Reggie rag.

Live rent free in a mansion sweet
Cause we love your hands and feet
As they race to score once more
For ol' USC and agents galore.

Is it illegal, do we care?
That's a Heisman he's carrying there
And don't forget the championships
Courtesy of Reggie's elusive hips.

So kick those heels, make that flip
Reggie's family takes another dip
For more bucks out of an agent's bag
Now we're doing the Reggie rag.

As a big fan of college football, situations like these really get to you because it weakens the sport. There is an issue that needs to be addressed as far as compensation for the players who basically can't work because the sport they play is their work. But for now rules are rules and to put your team's accomplishments into jeopardy is just insane. I guess I am wondering what happens to the Heisman if he is found guilty. I know the team will be stripped of its championship, but has anyone considered how that will affect Will Farrel? We it make him do another asinine movie? These are consequences we must all consider.

Oh Reggie...

Thursday 13 for 1/25/07

13 Reasons I should be President in 2008

1. I can smooze with the best of 'em.

2. I can eat almost anything, except liver, lima beans and any pudding that looks like it might have been the result of a really bad cold. I would be able to attend any State dinner.

3. I am from Texas. (Not sure why that matters but it makes me happy to say it.)

4. I am a true believer of the Constitution. I don't want anyone messing around with it for any reason (and yes, that definitely includes the 2nd Amendment).

5. I am a student of history. I figure I can take the best tricks, uh, I meant methods, of the best presidents and apply them.

6. I don't know Dick Cheney. I also wouldn't let anyone go hunting with Dick Cheney.

7. I would have a diversified cabinet. I don't care about your race, sex, creed, etc. I just care if you can get the job done. As I am not a party man, there would be no agendas of either mainstream party, just the agenda of what is good for America.

8. I would push for more wind energy, solar energy, and tell the oil companies to kiss my hybrid.

9. My foreign policy would fairly easy. If you're French, forget it. If you're a true ally, we'll help you. If you are going to spit on our face, welp, save your own butt.

10. My stance on the war in Iraq is fairly simple.

11. I have four kids who don't mind challenging me on anything political and cover the spectrum of political thought. I am fairly sure they would keep me straight.

12. My State of the Union addresses would always start with thirty minutes from the Blue Collar Comedy team, just to keep folks interested to hear the important stuff. Might even insert them between points...

13. After four years, I would leave and go fishing, play with grandkids, and pull practical jokes on the SS detail assigned to me. I would only attend important funerals and would promise to stay off CNN, FOX News, and all the Sunday morning news shows.

The Disapproving Song

I worked a charity event last night for my service club and couldn't help but notice a couple of older folks who were "looking down" at all of the kids coming in and out of the basketball arena. Statements like "did you see her? Pregnant and no wedding ring..." "Well what do you expect?" "Somebody is paying good money so they can act the fool..."

So in their honor, the disapproving song...

Hey, pregnant girl walking
Can't you hear us talking?
We see your belly hanging low
No wedding ring do you show
You're just another tragedy
Another social malady.

In judgment we sit mightily
Whispering our gossip spitefully
Pointing our fingers without risk
Shaking our heads, saying "Tsk, Tsk, Tsk."

Hey young men covered in paint
Covering areas your own clothes ain't
You play the fool while Daddy pays
I bet you lay around all day
Being another lazy tragedy
Happy to be a social malady.

In judgment we sit mightily
Whispering our gossip spitefully
Pointing our fingers without risk
Shaking our heads, saying "Tsk, Tsk, Tsk."

Hey kids, you should be like us
Balding and fat, making a fuss
Stuffing our faces while we judge
Wishing someone had brought fudge
But at least we ain't no tragedy
Or contributing to a social malady.

In judment we sit mightily
Whispering our gossip spitefully
Pointing our fingers without risk
Shaking our heads, saying "Tsk, Tsk, Tsk."

Judge on my friends, judge on. You're doing your generation proud.

(Yes, I know writing this post makes me just like them but hey, I sit in judgment mightily, writing my rantings spitefully, pointing my fingers without risk, shaking my head saying tsk, tsk, tsk...")

Another religious gimmick?

Visited a church this morning with a friend and enjoyed the services but there is one thing that bugged me. In the middle of the sermon, they break away for a commercial promoting a self-discovery ministry called PLACE. Below is the description from their web site.

The P in PLACE is for Personality Discovery. Participants use the unique assessments to discover their Personality based on the DISC model. (Having taken this test and being rated a D, the ol' dominating personality, then I would assume my "place in ministry" will be dominating other folks. Cool, forget humility, domination is my gift and I need to be using it!)

The L represents Learning Spiritual Gifts. PLACE promotes a scripture-based, 16-gift model using our comprehensive 112 question assessment. (Well, this becomes a little more difficult since there really aren't any scriptures supporting domination tendencies, so maybe I will re-assess my gifts and go for something fun, like miracle making. We all could use that talent, right?)

The A stands for Abilities Awareness. Here, participants complete an assessment to discover the most effective environment for them to comfortably serve. (I find I work best in a football environment. Can I do all of my ministering at Buffalo Wild Wings with a basket of wings, cold drinks, and a game on the big tube?)

The C is for Connecting Passion with Ministry. PLACE’s unique curriculum helps Christians identify their passions for ministries and people, and discover how they best demonstrate passion. (You should see me at a football game, I get pretty passionate then. Does this mean I need to be spending all of my development at the local stadium? I could sure grow my passion there...)

The E in PLACE deals with Experiences of Life. This session allows individuals to explore the effects of their past experiences and how those experiences play a vital role in finding their place of service. (Hmm, maybe if I did all of this examinating at Buffalo Wild Wings I could really find those life experiences to match my passion. I am thinking I can skip the classes and go straight to BWW and start feeling my gifts grow.)

Okay, I am not much of a gimmick person. I didn't jump up and slap a WWJD bracelet on or even buy a Tshirt. I sure didn't buy into the Prayer of Jabez, or even got excited over the 40 Days...

Perhaps if folks would spend more time serving the hurting, poor, hungry, and sick instead of wasting all our time trying to figure out our purpose, our talent, our whatever the hot item is, maybe we would actually make progress in our communities.

Now excuse me, I think I need to go explore my gifts at BWW.

The Oscars!

I know the Oscar nominations are coming out on Tuesday and being an avid movie watcher I should weigh in and make some predictions of who I think will get nominated... Okay, I haven't seen any of the films that are the buzz, but having watched a few trailers, reading a few reviews, and listening to folks talk about them, I am going to venture a totally non-educated guess that is based upon pure calculated wild guessing.

Best Picture - I am going with Little Miss Sunshine (I actually did see this one and loved it...) I am thinking probably Dreamgirls or Departed will probably win.

Best Actor - Leonardo DiCappicino... I think he is due.

Best Actress - Meryl Streep for The Devil Wears Prada. Her other six are so lonely...

Best Supporting Actor - Eddie Murphy will probably get it for Dreamgirls and I'm cool with that but I am hoping it is Steve Carrell from Little Miss Sunshine.

Best Supporting Actress - Hmm, I will pick Meryl Streep for this category for A Prairie Home Companion. No, it isn't that great of a movie but she sure was cute in it.

Best Director - Clint Eastwood for Flags of our Fathers. Hey, I like Clint and anytime you can give Dirty Harry another piece of hardware, you should do it.

Best Song - Did anyone use a Nitty Gritty Dirt Band song this year? What? No? Then this category really doesn't matter, does it?

I know that probably none of these picks will even make the nomination but since I am just whistling in the dark and have already admitted total ignorance, then I will feel like a genius if any of them make it. A genius!

It was a good date...

Okay, I know some of you are dying to know how the date went. It was great!

I think I will leave it at that...

Engaged!

Slvr is engaged, officially! You can go to her blog and read all about it. You would think this would get easier for fathers... hmm.

A Dreary Day

This morning is one of those mornings when the temptation to crawl back under the covers is strong. The weather is miserable, the air is damp, and a dreariness is draped over the skyline, bringing me back to the desire to bury myself under the covers. If I had a fireplace, I would light a fire... if I had a chance to hop a plane to someplace where the sun was shining, I think I would.

But no. Obligations beckon me to get up, get dressed, and hit the bricks. I guess I will spend the day doing what I am supposed to but deep in my heart I will be envying some lucky sap who is waking up to a brilliant sunrise, the bright sky caressing his psyche, filling his day full of hope.

No, I'm not depressed but dreary days make me sad. Sigh.

Thirteen Things About My Life Today

January 18, 2007

1. The temperature outside has finally risen above freezing. What a treat, we are at 33 degrees and should hit the forties today...only to have another front hit tonight that will bring more ice and snow, keeping us frozen into next week.

2. I have a date for Saturday night... if it doesn't get frozen out from all the predicted moisture. I hope not... sigh.

3. Had a chance to spend some time with two of the Ho's yesterday. What a great time and wonderful reminder of how precious friendship is. They kept me laughing, a good thing!

4. Slvr called last night to tell me the Boy had officially proposed and she had officially accepted. Congrats!

5. Talked with my mom and dad last night for an hour or so. They are doing much better and are in great spirits because they are finally getting past some of the pain, the bones are mending nicely, and they are half way through with their six weeks of no activity.

6. Talked with my oldest daughter, Cryss, last night and we had some lively conversation about so many different topics. We ended the conversation with what each other was cooking for supper; she was making a vegan taco salad (soy bean meat? oh please, kill me...) and I was making bisquits and gravy. I know my cardiologist would love my meal more...

7. I did all this talking on my new Blue Tooth! Yeah, finally got it in! It was a gift from my kids for Christmas. I love it! It is great to be hands free in the car.

8. Must remember to keep the cell phone with me when chatting on the Blue Tooth as it tends to disconnect when you walk out of range of the phone.

9. We have new computers in the office. I am still trying to get files and such transferred but they are exceptionally fast with fantastic RAM and processors! It is so great to work with 21st century equipment!

10. I have been fighting allergies. I am so ready for the cedars to stop popping!

11. I am reading a book called "First Break All the Rules." Good stuff!

12. Planning on cleaning the house top to bottom on Saturday morning. Purchased cleaning supplies from Wally World late last night and was thinking... "If you are getting excited about house cleaning then maybe you need a little more excitement in your life..."

13. Hmm, this is my first Thursday Thirteen that is just about what is going on in my life. It wasn't as painful as I thought it would be.

Happy TT everyone!

Interview with a resistance fighter

I walked down the snow covered ally looking for the dock bay my mysterious phone caller had directed me to. Stepping over frozen garbage and sidestepping a mangy cat, I arrived at the slightly slanted incline that led to a half raised sliding door. Glancing down at my notes and confirming this was the place I call out, "Mr. X?"

"Shhh, man, keep it low. There are people out there who would love to take me out." I could barely make out an image inside the gloomy interior of an abandoned warehouse.

"Oh, sorry. My bad. Can I come inside?"

"Sure, come on in. You will have to slide under the door. You might want to watch your clothes though, this floor ain't the cleanest." I pull myself up onto the dock bay and roll under the door. Standing up I glance around at a warehouse full of pallets, boxes filled with scrap parts from ancient pieces of long dead machinery. Mr. X glances around with me and then smiles, "It ain't much, but it is home to the Freedom Allows Guys to Smoke resistance movement. We meet here several times a day to light one up, plan our strategy for defeating the smoking ban and Sally Klingerman. That woman and her hoarde of second hand smoke alarmists are Satan's own creation. They can't die from lung cancer quick enough as far as the Freedom movement is concerned."

I am scribbling down this information furiously when I pause to look up at Mr. X. "You realize your acronym spells FAGS, right?"

"Yeah, I came up with that one myself. Kinda catchy, ain't it? FAGS are cigarettes in London so it is a play on words. When people see us walking down the street with a cigarette burning brightly as we inhale that glorious nicotine enriched smoke, they are going to point at us and say, 'Hey, there goes a bunch of FAGS!' Wait, that doesn't sound quite right."

"This is Texas you know, and FAGS doesn't quite mean the same here."

Mr. X had a puzzled look on his face as he shook out a Marlboro from a hard pack, scrounged around in the front pocket of his jeans, produced a lighter and lit his cigarette. "I think we might be changing the name for our resistance movement."

As he pulled on his cigarette, I took a mental inventory of Mr. X. His wrinkled face seemed to be permanently drawn into a thoughtful pose as his nicotine stained fingers held the cigarette against his lips. He was slight in build almost to the point of being scrawny. The greasy hair that graced his head was slowly fading from a jet black to a salt and pepper phase and the thick glasses resting on his nose seem to scream for a good cleaning.

"So tell me Alan, what is the overall strategy of the smoking ban resistance movement? Do you have a plan? How organized are you guys?"

"Well, hey wait a minute, how did you know my name?"

"You forgot to take off your Wal-Mart nametag... and you also have it monogrammed onto your Wal-Mart vest. So are you guys organized or are you just meeting here to smoke in a semi-public way to make a statement against a city wide smoking ban?"

He snatched the name tag off of his vest and took a moment to reverse the vest so that all I could see was "nalA" which was to throw me off of the track. I was beginning to question his intelligence.

"We are organized! We meet here four times a day, before work starts, during lunch, during our afternoon breaks, and after work. We talk and plan on how we can take out the evil smoking ban woman, Sally Klingerman. We have a few ideas we are working on."

"So basically you guys are taking smoking breaks and sitting around in this abandoned warehouse, out of sight, out of the public eye, smoking cigarettes and shooting the bull. Is that about right?"

"No, it is much more than that! Why we have even taken action against the city and Klingerman. Last Friday night we drove by her house and threw empty cigarette packs onto her lawn and stuck a sign into the ground that said, 'Americans are free to get cancer if they want to!'"

"Well that is a catchy phrase, I guess. How many FAGS are there?"

"Our numbers are increasing daily. We started off with four of us and we have grown over the past two weeks to six. We are just the beginning and invision a day when we will have the largest group of FAGS in the state."

"Six guys. Hmm, so basically you litter, post signs, and smoke in private with five other guys. Help me out here Alan, I don't see much of a resistance movement."

"It's Mr. X and if you can't see the upswelling of discontent between these walls then you must have already been blinded by the propaganda of the second hand smoke machine. Get out of here, you make me sick."

"Okay, I'll leave but I have to tell you I really don't have much of a story here. Call me back when you have 20 guys and you've changed your name. Somehow I don't think my editor will buy a headline that reads 'A Bunch of FAGS Caught Smoking in Abandoned Warehouse.'"

"You make us sound so dirty! Get out!"

So I did. I slipped back under the door, made my way out of the ally and stepped out into the parking lot of Wal-Mart. Breathing deeply, I embraced the fresh air of carbon monoxide infused molecules produced from petro-chemical driven vehicles and smiled knowing that the second hand smoke of cigarettes wouldn't be touching me today.

Honoring a Gentle Giant

Today I will be officiating a memorial service for a friend who has been released from his suffering. A successful man by anyone's standards, he was able to work 40 years for the same company, climb the corporate ladder, and end his working career in a job he absolutely loved. While talking with his family and looking over the awards he received during his career, it was obvious the greatest acheivements of this man were not accomplished in the oil field, but in his life outside of the petroleum world.

He was a gentle man and a loving father. Walking and living among alcoholics, he was the refuge for so many of his family during the periods of stormy conflict. He constantly kept busy helping others, fixing up places, finding another project to keep people involved in to help them in their own personal growth.

He spent his retirement years building camps for kids, churches for poor communities, or helping out his own children and grandchildren. The kindness and gentleness he brought to so many is apparant by the happiness of so many that he was finally released from Lewisbody Disease, a long slow deterioration of the mind.

Much like its cousin Alzheimers, this disease brings on aggression, regression, and cessation of sociatal controls. For the last four years his family has watched his demeanor change, to see the frustration in his face as he realized he was slowly slipping from reality. Words he never would have spoken came from his lips, angry thoughts expressed, and for the first time in his 80+ years, a form of meaness was expressed. He ceased to be the man they knew and loved and became a victim of a terrible transforming illness.

Today we will celebrate his healthy years, the years full of warm memories from his compassionate gentleness... the years when he was the refuge, not the conflict.

Ice

We are iced in for a few days. The roads have been bad enough for plenty of wrecks but not bad enough to totaly shut down the town. I was worried for the kids as they headed back to school but they made it just fine. I am thinking being iced in isn't all that bad as it has been a chance to sit back and relax, catch up on some writing and reading, plus just kicking back and watch some football.

I did get a healthy dose of humility when I went to the gun show and slipped on the ice. Did a nice heels over head back flop, much to the delight of other gun nuts who were making their way into the building. Didn't hurt anything but my pride but luckily I did get a score of 9.3 for style and technical form from the laughing judges. Hey if you are going to make a fool out of yourself, do it with style, right?

So tonight I will curl up under the covers and watch Monk, maybe the Hula Bowl later. Yuppers, just laying here and enjoying the ice...

The Blessing...

So there we were in the kitchen, my daughter's boyfriend and me, working on making ratones when he asked,

"Can I ask you something personal?" Hmm, now that can be a loaded question because when someone requests to ask you something personal you immediately think they are about to ask you something... well, personal.

"Sure. Fire away."

"I would like to propose to Slvr but would like to have your blessing first."

"Sure, you have my blessing."

"Do you have any reservations?"

Hmm, now another loaded question has been laid down because what father doesn't have reservations about any lad who comes to ask for his daughter's hand in marriage? Add to that list of reservations a healthy dose of cynicism and you have a roadmap to a disastrous conversation in which no one is going to come back in one piece.

"One day when you have a daughter you will understand that there will always be reservations when it comes to your child. Fortunately I trust Slvr and her decisions so we don't need to go into my reservations."

Afterwards we had a good discussion about dating, marriage, etc. I was shown the ring the next day before they left for school. He hasn't officially proposed yet but he does have my blessing, something he didn't have to ask for but I appreciate his asking anyway.

Tax Time

I will be attending a tax seminar today and tomorrow so I can once again be qualified to give free tax services to the people we serve. We will do all basic 1040's for free, file them, and make sure the refunds are put in the proper bank/savings account or delivered to the folks' home.

What does that mean? It means it is time to do some IRS lovin' baby!

Things I Learned from Leadership Class

I am in a Leadership class sponsored by the local Chamber of Commerce which means every month I am spending a Thursday being educated by a different segment of our city. Yesterday we learned about the Healthcare Community. So here is what I learned am now passing on to you as sage advice or simple observations.

1. Health care costs are high and will continue to rise at twice the rate of inflation.

2. There are 47 million uninsured people in America. 12 million of them live in Texas. Wow, it is sooooo cool to be #1 in something... isn't it? Everyone should move to Texas immediately to be a part of this wonderful trend.

3. The State of Texas spends more money on healthcare issues than it does on education which means we want to be a healthy ignorant people. Hey, you can come to Texas and enjoy a marvelous level of healthy ignorance.

4. There are some pretty impressive pieces of technology out there. The demonstration at the cancer center on how they isolate a brain tumor and ensure they don't radiate the wrong part of the brain was mind boggling...to say the least. I wonder if they can perform lobotomies with the radiation technology?

5. All that technology is expensive but fortunately they can pass the cost onto us, the consumer.

6. Hospitals do not like insurance companies. Nay, they hate, despise, abhor and hold them in utter contempt.

7. There is a nursing shortage in this nation. Hmm, I always thought it was a woman's perogative on whether she wanted to breast feed or not. Oh well, what do I know?

8. Larva therapy is pretty cool. The use of maggots to aid with chronic open wounds is amazing. It seems they are working on developing a better maggot. They should check out the Texas A&M football team and coach... I think they will find three excellent maggots there.

9. Hospital's overcharge to cover the non-paying folks. Insurance companies underpay the procedures. The insured worker is then treated to a double whammy of having health care costs stuck to them. It is sort of a manage'a trois of financial rapists...with you being the unwilling third party.

10. The #1 important item I learned yesterday was.... DON'T GET SICK! It will kill you.

Thursday Thirteen for 1/11/07

13 Favorite Movie Lines (I'll let you guess what movie they're from)

1. "That's bold talk for a one-eyed fat man."

2. "Put the bunny back in the box."

3. "I'm your huckleberry."

4. "Don't let your brain interfere with your heart."

5. "There's no fighting in the War Room!"

6. "You rush a miracle man, you get rotten miracles."

7. "There's no crying in baseball!"

8. "What we got here is a failure to communicate."

9. "If my answers frighten you then you should cease asking scary questions."

10. "Remember the turkey!"

11. "Are you boys gonna pull those guns are start whistlin' Dixie?"

12. "Badges, we don't need no stinkin' badges."

13. "I suppose the life of an anorexic duck doesn't amount to much in the broad scheme of things."

Have a great Thursday!

Gators Greedily Gobble Glory in Championship

Welp, there you have it. The mighty Ohio State Buckeyes were plucked, peeled, and plastered all over the field as Florida gave them a butt stomping that would make a masochist flinch.

I think this game proves three things:

1. There is too much of a layover from the end of the season to the Championship Game.

2. We need a playoff system and it should be completed on January 1.

3. No matter what it looks like on paper, you have to play the game and after the last 7 years where the #2 has won six out of seven times, you would think folks would understand that one principle.

My hat is off to the Gators. They were impressive in their overwhelming of the Buckeyes in every phase of the game.

Step #9

We discussed step #9 last night at Al-Anon, the fun little step where you make amends to those who you have harmed in word, thought, or deed. Amends taking the meaning of "a change" has now taken place in your behavior. This is not one of more favorite of the twelve steps since some are much easier to handle and do not require actual contact with other folks. However, I am thinking it is the most satisfying of the steps as it brings closure to past hurts and allows you to suture your wounds and begin the healing process.

Interestingly, I had a chance to work #9 yesterday with a person who had taken great delight in my past failures. It came in the form of a request from another person who knew this person was struggling with a painful situation. Against my better judgment I went and sat with them, talking out many of the painful conflicts that had occurred between us. It was two hours well spent and worth the time for me to make my amends with them, changing from having bitter thoughts to understanding the hard times they have been through. I would like to think yesterday provided release from bitterness on my part and began the rebuilding of a friendship I had missed.

Step #9 ain't easy, but the work is worth it.

Hunting Dialogue

There I was, laying on a beach, wearing nothing but a smile and caressing the soft silky skin... of my journal as I penned the final words to a best seller when the definitive sound of the opening strains to Sweet Home Alabama break up the revelry.

"Mornin'"

"Just thought you would want to know an armed man is sitting in your driveway."

"Oh man, my alarm didn't go off. Give me five minutes."

"No problem. Maybe I'll see something while I'm waiting."

I move my mouse to glance at the temperature. Oh great, 37 degrees, 20 miles an hour wind. Not sure what that figures out to but I'm thinking the wind chill is in the 20's. I put on the ol' longjohns, thermal shirts, hunting jacket, gloves, and ski mask.

"Sheesh Pete, do you know how cold it is?"

"It's a bit chilly. Will make the deer move."

"Ya think? Somehow I think they'll be hunkered down staying warm. Warm would be the operative word there." We drive out to the place, get out and load our guns, start walking. Walking into the wind, I find the joy of trying to manuever through prickly pear and mesquites with fogged up glasses. We make a pass through one pasture, climb a fence, make a run through the next pasture, climb a fence, and finally finish when we have completed the distance of the place.

"We should go down by the creek bed and see if we can jump something up there."

"Uh sure, the creek bed. It can't be all that wet and cold." So I follow Pete to the creek bed and we start to make a pass. We decide I should be the one who actually slides down the creek bank and work my way up the creek. My first step takes me plummeting down the bank.

"Can you be a little more noisy down there?"

"I'm alright. Luckily the briars broke my fall and I'm pretty sure all the skin ripped off my face will grow back with minimal scarring."

"Are you gonna stay down there whinin' or are you gonna start hunting?"

We make it down the creek with only a few struggles to get through the briars. Coming out on the other side of the property, we decide we should circle back towards Pete's truck which means we traverse the whole place again and cross another three fences. The great part is my frontside is now thawing out while my backside is frozen.

The trip back is unsuccessful and as we unload our guns, strip off jackets and buckle up, I hear words of doom come across the cab.

"Wanna try again this afternoon. It is supposed to get up to 47 and the wind isn't supposed to be blowing more than 30 miles an hour." I'm thinking, "are you crazy?" but I hear, with great horror,

"Sure, I'll see you around 3:30."

No deer.

No sense.

No problem.

Sigh.

Parental Update

Welpers, my dad had ankle surgery today and it went well. He is off his feet for at least six weeks but the good news is that he will be able to recuperate and hopefully not lose any strength in his legs.

My mom, broken toes and all, will be toughing it out until they are healed. However we are thrilled they are up and alive, a true blessing.

If Willy Shakespeare Were Writing Today

If Willy Shakespeare wrote today
Tapping his faithful keyboard,
Just what would Willy have to say
That would fancy both rich and poor?
Would he write spine tingling thrillers
Or would he be a man of mystery?
Perhaps he would cast Ben Stiller
For the lead in his life's history.
I have no doubt he would produce
A play that would bring down the house.
Provided he could reduce
His temptations to plagerize Faust.

Of Relationships and Regrets

One of the more painful experiences a parent has is watching their young enter into and exit from relationships. It doesn't matter the gender or the age, the pain they experience appears to be expotentially increased for the parental unit observing it. I have yet to feel anything burn worse than the tears of my child on my neck as I hug them close or more painful than the tortured looks brought on by their hearts breaking. Can anything stir your ire as quickly as seeing them hurt by another's insensitivity?

I would love to give them advice on how to protect their hearts, shroud their feelings, guarding against such relational inspired maiming but sadly I have nothing to give because when it comes to my past relationships... let's just say I wouldn't be batting cleanup.

Those failures of mine have been gracious enough to bring a truck load of regret along with them that keep me second guessing life, love, and relationships in general. However, to dwell in those regrets is die a rather slow inconsequential death that only lends itself to self pity and whining.

Luckily I have been blessed with a guide who has enlightened me on such matters. My mentor has shown me that when it comes to the affairs of the heart, to avoid pain through protecting and masking your own heart, you have robbed yourself of any chance to experience the best of life. Like baseball you can avoid the humiliation of striking out by never going to the plate to take a pitch... but by doing so you have cheated yourself out of the thrill of hitting one out of the park.

So I can only stand by and watch my offspring go to the plate of relationships and give it their best shot. They may strike out. They may only get to first base. They might even hit the big one and experience the euphoria of a true love, an actual soulmate.

As for the parental spectator, I guess all we can do is to be ready to applaud or comfort them when their time at the plate is through. That my friend is freakin' hard.

A Year in Review Meme

Stole this from Beth's blog...

1. What did you do in 2006 that you'd never done before?
Got a divorce.

2. Did you keep your New Year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
Yes, I did! I resolved to watch football, smoke a cigar every now and again, and to blog at least once a week. Already have made more resolutions that I will be capable of keeping.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth or adopt?
Depends on how you define "birth"

4. Did anyone close to you die?
Yes.

5. What countries did you visit?
Yankee Land.

6. What would you like to have in 2007 that you lacked in 2006?
No debt.

7. What dates from 2006 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
February 14 (filed for divorce) May 8th (divorce final) June 3-8 (Vacation in Arizona mountains) July 4th (big event was a smashing success) December 15th.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Keeping the clubs flush and building towards operating in the black.

9. What was your biggest failure?
Hmm, is it failure if you learned from it?

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Nothing fatal...

11. What was the best thing you bought?
My Ipod

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
M's. He has really gained ground.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Hmm, I can't think of anyone off the top of my head.

14. Where did most of your money go?
Bills.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Arizona.

16. What song will always remind you of 2006?
It's Morning!

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder?
Happier, definitely.
b) thinner or fatter?
Unfortunately, fatter. But... I'm working on it.
c) richer or poorer?
Richer, but still poor.

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Fishing.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Moving.

20. How will you be spending Christmas?
Since Christmas is past, I guess I will say I spent it with my parents and two of the kids.

21. What was your favorite TV program?
The Office.

22. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
Nope

23. What was the best book you read?
Knowing Your Strengths

24. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Night at Woody Creek by the NGDB

25. What did you want and get?
The right staff in the right place to give the maximum performance in serving the kids we serve.

26. What did you want and not get?
A '68 Camero

27. What was your favorite film of this year?
Lucky # Slevin

28. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Ending the year with a year's operation cost in the bank.

29. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2006?
Business practical and comfortable.

30. What kept you sane?
Friends.

31. What celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Rene Zellwigger (hope I spelled her name correctly)

32. What political issue stirred you the most?
Iraq

33. Who did you miss?
Vince Young

34. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2006.
It is okay to delegate, micromanaging will kill you.

35. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
"If we're ever gonna see a rainbow, we have to stand a little rain" NGDB

Hmm, time warp

Here it is Wednesday and I was so proud of myself this morning getting my Thursday Thirteen completed... and I realize I was a day early. Hmm... that probably means something but I'm not sure what.

I guess there will be no TT for Thursday afterall.

Sigh.

Wedding Bits

I officiated a wedding for a young woman who I've known since she was born. Weddings are wonderful places to find blogging material and this one wasn't any different. So here are some of the favorite quotes or scenes taken in during the wedding....

"Man, we should've checked the hog traps before we came up here. I think we had time." (Groom to a groomsman "Uh, it is your wedding day and wouldn't it be the pits to have to decide whether you want to take this really nice pig or try to get to the church in time for the wedding?")

"Now when you attend formal occasions such as this, check out the room first to find all the good looking guys but remember, sometimes the ugly ones are the ones with the money." (Advice from a mom to her preteen daughter..."I'm thinking someone should warn all the preteen boys about this one.")

"Hey, this isn't a race and I'm wearing heels. Slow down or go down that aisle by yourself!" (one frustrated bridesmaid... "Let 'em have it sister! Slap him twice to get his attention!")

"Should someone pick up the veil?" (said by a bridesmaid after the bride lost her long gauzy trail covering...I'm thinking, "Yeah, someone should since all of you have to walk over it to leave the auditorium.")

All in all it was a great wedding. The Groom and groomsmen were in faded blue jeans and white shirts (some patterned, some just plain white shirts) with athletic shoes. The Bride was in a traditional dress and her bridesmaids were in fancy gowns. It looked a bit different but what mattered was the two folks getting married were happy and had a great time. The reception was sandwiches and fruit, the cakes were red velvet and German chocolate.

Best part of the wedding was being accompanied by Slvr and getting a chance to chat with her during the reception. I always think a wedding without gun play or bloodshed is a good wedding.

Thursday 13 for 1/3/07

Thirteen Favorite Singer(s) or Groups

I love my Ipod and having an Ihome in the office sure allows me to listen to my favs and here are just 13 singers or groups you are likely to hear when you enter the office this week...

1. Nitty Gritty Dirt Band

2. Lynard Skynard

3. Alison Krause and Union Station

4. Clannad

5. The Eagles (I also have Don Henley and Joe Walsh playing solo stuff)

6. Chicago

7. Kansas

8. The Cranberries

9. Nora Jones

10. Bob Segar

11. Billy Joel

12. Enya

13. Joanie Madden

New Year's Resolutions

Once again Frustrated resolves to do the following:

I resolve to eat right. Yuppers, eat only those really tasty foods soaked in butter.

I resolve to speak only kind words about everyone... on every day that ends in Z.

I resolve to find the Blue Bird of Happiness and barbecue that sucker.

I resolve to enjoy my life, my kids, my work, and my friends.

I resolve to blog at least once a week.

I resolve to not break any of these resolutions for at least 24 hours. Now where can I find that Blue Bird of Happiness?

Happy New Years!

The ball has fallen
The champagne drunk
A New Year's callin'
We're minus one skunk.
I hope it's good
I hope you're happy
You know you should
Avoid all that's crappy.
So we get
Another shot at life
But it's a safe bet
There will be some strife.
But I hope you escape
From the worst of it all
Taking life by the nape
And shake it till it squalls.

Happy New Year everybody!