Plumbing Blues

So I'm putting in the kids' Christmas present to their mother and horror of horrors, the job that should take two hour max ends up taking all day. Plumbing never comes easy and sure enough, one pipe breaks, another is weak, and before you know it I am revamping all of the pipes underneath the house.

This morning I am sore from bumps, scratches, and having been in positions that would have made a yoga guru proud.

So a poem is bubbling out... I just feel it!

Why is it that projects simple
Seldom work out like we plan
And become the proverbial pimple
On the butt of frustrated man?

I offer you plumbing
As an example quaint
Cause it is quite numbing
When what should be, ain't.

Chasing one problem after another
You find your project grows
And you'll be crying "mother"
Fighting your plumbing woes.

So what is the lesson taught
As you are feeling dumber?
You should do as you ought
Spend the bucks, pay a plumber.

A Bit of Relief

My parents were in a serious wreck last night. At the time of this writing they have been checked over and my dad has a chipped ankle and a sprained wrist while my mom has six broken toes and they are running xrays of her chest.

They were the lucky ones.

The car that they hit was out of control and sliding across the bridge when they hit them broadside. One woman, not buckled in, died at the scene. Another is not expected to live through the night. The driver is in serious condition too.

The kicker. The folks they hit were heading to a drug pickup (they left messages on their cell phones) and the driver is looking at two counts of manslaughter.

As for my parents, I am so grateful they are in as good as shape as they are in. I can only imagine what thoughts are going through their minds and I know they will be hurting for some time. For the folks in the other car, I am sympathetic to their families. I hate the fact they were engaged in the activity that had them out on an icy road and that those who live will never be the same.

It just reminds that in a blink of an eye our lives can be transformed forever.

Hanging Out with Saddam

So you've had your trial
You've made your peace
And in a little while
Your life will cease.
So at the end
Of a new rope
Your nation will send
Up cheers of hope.
So Mr. Butcher of Bagdad
As you drop through
We won't be sad
To be rid of you.
While scholars are debating
I must secretly confess
I hope the 70 virgins waiting
All have PMS.

Thirteen Things to Do on the Thursday After Christmas

1. Take down the Christmas tree.
2. Drink the last bit of egg nog, double strength.
3. Pack away decorations
4. Sip some of the nog, minus the egg.
5. Put all of the furniture back into place.
6. Forget the nog, go straight to double shots of bourbon.
7. Start writing the thank you notes.
8. Purchase more bourbon.
9. Sort through the Christmas bills.
10. Work on interesting mixtures with vodka, bourbon, and rum.
11. Vacuum the floor.
12. Sip on the concoction you recently created
13. Hope you don't fall into the neatly packed decorations...

A Christmas Blessing

Merry Christmas everyone!

May the day be blessed
May you find a bit of peace
May you be free of stress
And may anxieties cease.

May you be surrounded
By family and friends
And may you not be pounded
By the Christmas blues fiends.

May you end this day
With a contented sigh
And may your head lay
With loved ones near by.

Merry Christmas from Frustrated and mi familia!

May The Man in the Red Suit be Good to Ya!

Just a quick "Merry Christmas!" to all my friends, blogging buddies, and family. May the big guy in red be kind to you!

Taking some time off...

Next week I am actually going to take three to four days off from work. I am so looking forward to having the time to sit back and chill with the kids, my parents, and a few of my siblings. It will be a blessed break from the long hours and hard pressed days.

I hope all of you get the same opportunity!

So in celebration of those days away, a poem.

I Ain't Gonna Be There

Don't call me at work
Thinking you will get me
'Cause I have a perk
Called "days off" you see.
I'll be kickin' back
Sippin' coffee and such
Losing complete track
Not thinking about much.
So if you search for moi
Wanting my time so rare
Don't look at work Francois
'Cause I ain't gonna be there.

Taking careful aim, Frustrated slams a shot into the wrong goal...

Took the kids out for pizza and air hockey last night. It was one of those moments when a dad and his kids take out some quality time to learn those important lessons of life; dads rule when it comes to air hockey so come along and get your butt waxed.

I know, I know, I should be easy on them because it is Christmas. I want you to know I had promised to keep the gloating to a minimum and wouldn't even tell people how badly I beat them until...

Until...

Until... they whipped me like a red headed step child. I couldn't win a game to save my life. Three times we played me against the both of them and I would have demanding three point leads (6-3 in a seven point game) only to watch them come back and win. Twice I hit the shot that ricocheted back into my own goal. Jman was quick to add that I had indeed hit the winning shot...sigh.

So I'm thinking maybe I should've talked to them about the meaning of Christmas and the reason we should all give and not worry about the receiving the adulation of the air hockey masses during this special time of the year.

Nah, I will just wax them next time.

Yes, there will be a next time!

Crank it up!

Christmas is getting close and it is time to crank it up! Woohoo!

All the Christmas parties are over at the clubs and everything went oh so smoothly. Yesterday big grants came in that I was waiting for and that is like, yeah baby! Now today I will play Santa for the last time this year and deliver gifts to the folks who have mental retardation at a local state facility. They really enjoy the jolly old man in the red suit so it will be a thrill.

Saturday I have my two friends over from the same facility to have Christmas with them and my kids at my house. This will be such a kick and I am happy my kids are so eager to share with them.

Last minute shopping sprees...

Embracing the call of Wally World at 2 a.m.

Oh baby, it is definitely time to crank it up!

Thirteen Things I Believe About Christmas

1. I believe Santa Clause should be witty, fun, and a pleasant experience for the kids.
2. I believe if the child is terrified and doesn't want to sit in a strange man's suit, especially if he is wearing a fake wig, hair, and a smarmy red suit, then you shouldn't make them.
3. I believe kids are getting more and more cynical about Christmas. Wonder where that comes from...?
4. I believe Christmas music is great stuff. They should play it all year.
5. I believe the chestnuts have roasted over the open fire long enough. Time to bury that song.
6. I believe singing to a Christmas Tree is fairly close to singing to a fire hydrant. Neither one makes sense to me.
7. I believe adults who sit on Santa's lap and ask for a) husband b) girl/boy friend or c) fiance' are probably destined to live sad lonely lives.
8. I believe fruitcakes should be labeled as hazardous materials.
9. I believe Salvation Army bell ringers who harass shoppers probably don't get the same amount of donations as the quieter ones who graciously say, "thank you" when you toss money into the pot.
10. I believe Rudolph is a prima donna and most likely a cross dresser.
11. I believe people are more generous at Christmas and that is a good thing. I wish they would stay that generous all year.
12. I believe that the spirit of Christmas does exist, most often in the hearts of small children or the elderly.
13. I believe everyone should pause for a few minutes, enjoying a moment of quiet reflection on the true meaning of Christmas, and then in the spirit of generosity, write the ol' Frustrated a rather large check. Money orders and cash are also accepted.

Merry Christmas Ya'll!

Last Call

Sorry I haven't been able to post lately but life is past crazy with activities... just yesterday afternoon I had five events to get to within two hours... aaayyyyeeeeee!

Anyhoo, I am sending out the Christmas Stories so if you haven't emailed me your address, do it today! I need to get them off by tomorrow.

Have a great Tuesday!

Another reminder

Don't forget, if you want a Frustrated Christmas story delivered to your doorstep then you need to email me your mailing address.

Also, for this year only, I will send to first time recipients my book of Christmas stories I wrote my kids when they were younger. I will even autograph it for you so your parokeets can have an original Frustrated autograph to defecate on after you have perused the book. For that matter I will send a book to anyone who requests one.

You can send your mailing address to: derrickhallwithcowsandmolly@yahoo.com

There is no charge for either. It will let me get rid of the few copies I have left.

Singing Voicemails

Okay, my kids think I've lost it but this holiday season I am singing my voicemails to Christmas tunes. Call me strange, eccentric, or just plain nuts but I consider it my small part to spread a little Christmas cheer. Besides, I find so many people like to sing their message back to me... so it is like a musical in the making.

Thursday Thirteen 12/14/06

Thirteen Things You Shouldn't Say to Kids When You Are Playing Santa...

1. I saw the naughty list kid and this year I will be taking toys back from you...
2. Nope, there aren't any elves at the North Pole any more. I replaced them with Malaysian sweat shop laborers.
3. Wow, you're lucky Santa doesn't care if you're ugly or not.
4. Yeah so I told Ms. Claus, "Hey, I can't be taking viagra the day before I have to go down all those chimneys!"
5. An Xbox 360? Yeah you and a million other kids want one. Tell your parents to try Ebay.
6. Hey kid, this year skip the cookies and milk. Leave a shot of bourbon and beef jerky, okay?
7. Sorry kid, we are out of Bratz dolls. I do have a rather nice collection of blow up dolls...
8. Man, that Rudolph is such a ho...
9. Wanna pull Santa's finger?
10. Sheesh, I think Santa needs to bring someone here a bar of soap for Christmas.
11. You saw me over at the mall? Really? I wasn't at the mall, I was right here. Go tell that fake s.o.b. to stop impersonating me, okay?
12. Yeah, I was kissing your mommy under the mistletoe last night and let me tell you kid, it wasn't all that great.
13. You don't have a chimney? Whew, that's another house I can mark off the list.

May Santa Bring You Peace for Christmas

I was pulling into an empty lane of traffic when a SUV, hundreds of yards down the road, accelerates, begins to honk its horn, and continues the incessant honking until they catch up with me, 20 seconds later, pulls along side of me, gives me dirty looks, and then continues its honking as the SUV demon speeds up, whips in front of me, and then tailgates everyone in front of her.

Okay, if you want to be the Christmas Ass, then by all means, do it. If you are in that much of a hurry to get to McDonald's to feed your face, then hey, act the fool, put everyone's life at risk because you, after all, have an SUV which makes you THE INTIMIDATOR when you run down small cars. It is all about you and the world should revolve around your selfish, small minded, megomaniacal whims.

For you, oh speed demon, I hope this year Santa climbs down your chimney and leaves you something special... something to give you peace of mind... or at least to tone down the rage you obviously are experiencing. Valium comes to mind as a rather nice present but it would truly only be effective if you took the whole bottle at one time, washing it down with a pint of whiskey. If that isn't fast enough for you, I could think of some other mind blowing treatments that will deliver that all self serving peace you obviously need.

I hope Santa comes early before you kill someone.

Good Gracious Gracie, Grab Gobs of Gifts!

I was able to deliver my first set of Christmas presents today; picture frames for the Ho's with our picture in them. It was good to have a moment to enjoy watching them open their presents and I was appreciative they didn't toss them into the trash until after I left the building.

Life is good.

So what do you do with the unwanted gift? I find this is a dilemma some folks really struggle with, especially those who don't utilize such gifts for target practice. Hmm, I always give mine to charity and let them worry about it. I have to admit there is seldom a gift I don't like since someone took the time to pick something out for me (okay, the suspicious 7-11 tags on some of them have made me pause for just a moment and wonder how much they actually thought about the gift...) so why wouldn't I like it?

I guess if I had to choose the most unusual and bad gift it would be an old license plate given to me. Yup, an old license plate from some foreign country (I think it was from New Mexico) that had no meaning at all to me. I'm thinking it was one of those moments when the gifter was cleaning out his garage and thought, "What the heck? I really need to get rid of this old thing but hate to throw it away... I know, I'll give it to Frustrated!" Well, Frustrated wasn't all that thrilled with it but I did find it made a fabulous target...

So what is the one gift you wanted to take a shot at?

Character Defects

The meeting tonight had us discuss Step #7 where you humbly admit your character defects and ask the Higher Power to remove them. Hoo boy, admitting to a group of people that you have character flaws... especially when I'm pretty sure I am just a shade off of that level of perfection most humans lust after. Okay, make that a whole lot of shades off that level, but still, having to expose yourself to the group is rather risky but hey, why go if you aren't in for a penny, in for a pound?

"Wulp... my character defect I'm working on is bitterness and frankly, I'm a bit bitter I am still having to work on it..."

There, I got it out in the open. Whew, my turn is over and I can just relax and listen to everyone else. Wait, they want to go around again and mention another character defect? What? My bitterness isn't good enough for you, you want more? Sheesh, what slave drivers!

"Okay, I have a fear of failure that drives me to be controlling at times..." Whew, that wasn't so bad. I hope I passed their litmus test...

Double sheesh.

More Christmas Carols...

These Christmas lyrics are from Sarah McLauchlan and her CD Wintersong... I think she captures how sad Christmas time can be for some folks... yeah, almost depressing. I like the songs and the style she uses so I'm postin' 'em! (Please don't go sucking on a .44 after reading them...)

"River"

It's coming on Christmas
They're cutting down trees
They're putting up reindeer
And singing songs of joy and peace
Oh I wish I had a riverI could skate away on
But it don't snow here
It stays pretty green
I'm going to make a lot of money
Then I'm going to quit this crazy scene
I wish I had a riverI could skate away on
I wish I had a river so long
I would teach my feet to fly
Oh I wish I had a riverI could skate away on
I made my baby cry
He tried hard to help me
You know, he put me at ease
And he loved me so naughty
Made me weak in the knees
Oh I wish I had a riverI could skate away on
I'm so hard to handle
I'm selfish and I'm sad
Now I've gone and lost the best baby
That I ever had
Oh I wish I had a riverI could skate away on
I wish I had a river so long
I would teach my feet to fly
Oh I wish I had a river
I made my baby say goodbye
It's coming on Christmas
They're cutting down trees
They're putting up reindeer
And singing songs of joy and peace
I wish I had a riverI could skate away on

"Song For A Winter's Night"
[Written and first sung by Gordon Lightfoot in 1975]

The lamp is burnin' low upon my table top
The snow is softly fallin'
The air is still within the silence of my room
I hear your voice softly callin'
If I could only have you near
To breathe a sigh or two
I would be happy just to hold the hands I love
Upon this winter night with you
The smoke is rising in the shadows overhead
My glass is almost empty
I read again between the lines upon the page
The words of love you sent me
If I could know within my heart
That you were lonely too
I would be happy just to hold the hands I love
Upon this winter night with you
The fire is dying now, my lamp is growing dim
The shades of night are liftin'
The mornin' light steals across my windowpane
Where webs of snow are driftin'
If I could only have you near
To breathe a sigh or two
I would be happy just to hold the hands I love
And to be once again with with you
To be once again with with you

Catching up on photos

Thought I would post some photos I had in the ol' camera and haven't printed yet...

This one is what the Texas Panhandle looks like north of Amarillo. Funny, when you are heading home and you cross over into Texas to see this sight, it is rather heartwarming. I think Panhandle folks probably are the only folks who can appreciate the desolateness of the Panhandle but hey, it is the only way you can survive.

Sorry about this one being on it's side but I'm in a hurry and don't have to time to fix it. This is Jman doing the ice skating thing. He is an excellent skater, unlike his pop who prays he can make it around the rink without breaking something...

This is a night shot of the flag field that was put up in front of my office building for the Veteran's Day weekend. I know the light blurs are a bit distracting but I liked the look of the pic and decided to keep it...

Hope everyone has a great Sunday.

First Annual Ho Xmas Dinner

I used to work with the best bunch of cow0rkers ever and we called ourselves the Ho's. No, the three women here were the original Ho's and I was later brought into the group as a Ho when one of the original Ho's moved on to bigger and better things (no pun intended).



Since I have moved on from the previous place of employment we have tried to have lunch regularly (doesn't happen often enough) and so this year we planned the first Ho Xmas Dinner. The menu was Mexican food with Debbie Ho making two different types of enchiladas, Susan Ho bringing the guac, Cindy Ho supplying rice, pico, and roasted jalepenos, and the Frustrated Ho bringing Mexican Corn Casserole. We had Debbie Ho's daughter present to take the Ho pictures as she is a lot of fun and understands the Ho mentality. Thanks Amanda!

So here is the Christmas Ho pic... one of is our natural state and one with us just being ho's...

Timopheus

Bright eyes, face swallowing grin, and spunky, Patrick Timothy came into the world with everything against him; the child of a raped mother, a victim of a rare disease, and a host of doctors saying he had no chance of surviving. On that December 8th the outlook for this sickly child was grim and most folks would've started to consider burial options but not the woman who was called in to be his foster mother. For her it was a chance to give a baby love even if the child's journey through this life was short.

We didn't see much of my mom the next six months as she spent every waking hour in the hospital with Tim, or "Timopheus", as she affectionately called him. He was frightening to look at; tubes running in and out of his head and he seemed so fragile but mom was confident he would be just fine. A trip to Galveston to see a specialist, a medical regimine prescribed and the little guy who shouldn't have lived through the night, much less the week, survived.

Survive doesn't seem adequate to describe his life because Tim thrived. When he finally got clear of hospital beds, he took off in his development. He walked, ran, and plunged headlong into the terrible twos. By the time he was three you couldn't seperate him from dad and for most of his life he was affectionately called "little Dale" by those of us who knew him best. He was the only brother who was brave (or should I say foolish) enough to run from dad when he was about to be punished. He could always have dad laughing so hard by the time he caught him I think the punishments were greatly diminished.

We watched him play football, work beside us, and finally find a joy in life in the form of his wife and in a career he loved. He was a great uncle, a wonderful brother, and one of the most compassionate men you would ever meet.

He enjoyed life for 32 years until the disease caught up with him and he died of adrenal failure, collapsing in a field outside of Friona, TX. He left a young widow, five brothers, two marvelous parents, a host of friends, and numerous nieces and nephews.

I know yesterday my mom wept for her "Timopheus" and I'm sure my dad went about his business with a heavy heart. He and my youngest brother Scott were such a blessing to them and even now Scott looks after them.

Speaking as a brother, I salute Tim and his short life. May we all learn to squeeze as much happiness out of life as he did in whatever time we are given upon this world.

Friday finally

It is Friday morning, early, and I'm looking towards some quality writing time so I can finish up grants that are due today. A Board meeting at noon... Laundry to pick up... Lights to hang... Food to cook for a meal ... if that doesn't inspire poetry, nothing else will...

Friday Lament

Well it is Friday, my friend
A week of utter insanity
I hoped someone would extend
A chance to re-enter humanity.

People have demanded my time
Appointments out the wahzoo
I wonder if it would be a crime
If I snuck off and hung with you.

A moment to get away from it all
And let my mind wash clear
Of deadlines, reports and pitfalls
Just hanging with a friend so dear.

Oh well the clock is ticking
Another day of challenges to meet
But if I was doing the picking
Friday, we'd be hitting the street.

Hope your Friday and weekend are good ones!

Twisted Christmas Carols

Today's submission for not often sung Christmas carols is from the Bob River's collection of twisted tunes... a couple of my favorities that are never heard on the radio...

Walking Around in Women's Underwear
by Bob Rivers

"Lacey things, the wife is missing.
Didn't ask, for her permission
I'm wearing her clothes, her silk panty hose.
Walking around in women's underwear.
In the store, there's a teddy.
With little straps, like spagetti.
It holds me so tight, like handcuffs at night.
Walking around in womens underwear
In the office there's a guy named Melvin.
He pretends that I am Murphy Brown.
He'll say "Are you ready?"
I'll say, "Woah man!
Lets wait untill the wife is out of town."
Later on, if you wanna,
We can dress, like Madonna.
Put on some eye shade, and join the parade.
Walking around in women's underwear.
Lacey things, missing.
Didn't ask, permission.
Wearing her clothes, silk panty hose.
Walking around in women's underwear.
Walking around in women's underwear.
Walking around in women's underwear......"

The Restroom Door Said Gentlemen
by Bob Rivers

The restroom door said gentleman so I just walked inside,
I took two steps and realized I've been taken for a ride.
I heard high voices, turned and found the place was occupied,
By two nuns, three old ladies and a nurse.
What could be worse?
Than two nuns, three old ladies and a nurse.

The restroom door said gentleman it must have been a gag,
As soon as I walked in there I ran into some old hag.
She sprayed me with a can of mase and smacked me with her bag,
I could tell, this wouldn't be my day.
What can I say?
It just wasn't turning out to be my day.

The restroom door said gentleman and I'd would like to find,
The crummy little CREEP who had the nerve to switch the signs.
'Cause I got two black eyes and one high heel up my behind,
Now I can't, sit with comfort and joy.
Boy oh boy.
Now I'll never sit with comfort and joy.

Staff Christmas Party

We had our staff Christmas party last night and I am now the proud owner of:

A coffee mug (it will go nicely with the other hundred mugs I have)

A stress ball (this is actually a totally cool item)

Another rat to put on the wall of shame (oh this one is completely hideous)

A pipe cleaner snowflake.

I did come in third in our five minute pool tournament. Simple rules... five minute games and whoever is ahead at the end of the five minutes moves on to the next round. If you scratch, you automatically lose... I was three balls up when I scratched. Sigh.

Best part was getting to hang with the staff in a relaxed setting.

Hope everyone is having a great week...

Thursday Thirteen for December 7, 2006

Thirteen Useful Applications for Fruitcake

I love the Christmas Season but will admit I am not fond of the scourge of the season, fruitcake. However, I have thought up 13 wonderful ways to use those fruitcakes that show up in the mail...

1. Use them as pavers for a nice colorful walk in your back yard.
2. Toss them at Impatient Grouches who honk in parking lots. It's Christmas. It's the Mall... It's gonna be busy...Have a fruit cake and Merry !$%#$)#^)* Christmas to you too!
3. Use them for target practice. Heaven knows they are indestructible.
4. Send them to Iraq so I soldiers can use them as weapons of mass destruction. Just the morale busting qualities of being given a fruitcake should have the insurgents surrendering in a week.
5. Use them to hold down tarps on windy days.
6. Use them for science fair projects and let the kids try to figure out what the green and orange lumps are inside of them.
7. Lay them down on busy streets and use them for speed bumps.
8. Take them on your next camping trip. I'm pretty sure they're combustible.
9. Use them as decoys in the airport. Security will be so busy trying to figure what kind of hideous device you were trying to take onto the plane that they'll never notice you taking shampoo that isn't inside a baggie.
10. Carry them when you are walking alone at night. You can brain muggers with them.
11. Have them all forwarded to your exes or their divorce lawyers. They took everything else so they definitely should have the fruitcakes too.
12. Hold on to them and send them back to the sender for their birthday. See how they like it.
13. Hollow them out to hide valuables in such as keys, cash, or jewelry. Believe me, if someone breaks into your home to burglarize it, the last thing they are going to look at or steal is the fruitcake.

More Favorite Not Often Played Christmas Carols...

Today's Christmas carols come courtesy of the Nitty Gritty Dirt Band...

I really debated about posting the third song since it really brings out the pain of children at Christmas time because of divorce. As this is my first year in this situation I realize that Christmas won't be the same for the kids and so I am posting it because it is always better to confront those feelings the kids must have and not let my own personal pride get in the way.

Remember, if you want a Christmas card, email me your mailing address. Send it to derrickhallwithcowsandmolly@yahoo.com

First two are just good sing along songs...

"Colorado Christmas"
(S. Goodman)

Lookin' out the window of this Hollywood hotel
You'd never know that it was Christmas Eve
The billboards and the neon took the place of silver bells
And the temperature is eighty-four degrees
I can hear the traffic on the crowded strip below
As the palm trees poke their heads above the scene
But there's not a single reindeer and it hardly ever snows
And Santa drives a Rolls Royce limousine

But all along the Rockies you can feel it in the air
From Telluride to Boulder down below
The closest thing to Heaven on this planet anywhere
Is a quiet Christmas morning in the Colorado snow

I remember Christmases when I was just a boy
In the morning I would run to see the tree
And the carolers on the hillside sang their songs of Christmas joy
Well, I always thought they sang them just for me
But now the sun is setting in the California sky
And I can't find the spirit anywhere
So I think it's time for me to tell Los Angeles goodbye
I'm going back home to look for Christmas there

But all along the Rockies you can feel it in the air
From Telluride to Boulder down below
The closest thing to Heaven on this planet anywhere
Is a quiet Christmas morning in the Colorado snow

It's a quiet Christmas morning in the Colorado snow

"Love Has Brought Him Here"
(B. Carpenter, T. Kell)

In the crowded streets of this desert town
I've heard the rumor going 'round
But it doesn't seem the time or place
For a Savior child to bring His grace
There's too much trouble, greed and tears
Who could greet Him, conscience clear?
And who among us would believe

Till the trumpets sound His song
That the promised one has come
Then a star came out and the cattle low
And the street turned bright with a manger's glow
I thought I heard the message clear
That love has brought Him here

Who are these people, peasant poor
Who sit inside the stable door
Where is the sense in such a choice
What have we waited for
Seems a King should have much more
Then the star turned bright and the mother smiled
At this gift of life her precious child
I saw right then the message clear
That love has brought Him here

Then the star came out and the cattle low
And the street shone bright with a manger's glow
And this old world will one day know
The love that's brought Him here
The love that's brought Him here
The love that's brought Him here

"One Christmas Tree"
(J. Hanna, J. Ibbotson)

The season is on us when all our dreams come true
And for a while the spirit of giving is renewed
And children wonder about the truth of things
That they say at church or hear the angels sing
Our kids have two trees, one at each of our homes
Yours with antique balls and mine with dime store globes
Their Christmas wish is as simple as it's clear
Let their parents pride and anger disappear

So this year at Yuletide, here's how we'll do it
We'll put up one Christmas tree
Then gather 'round it, sing hallelujah
Peace on earth and to our family

The kids swear they remember loving years before
When they heard the neighbors caroling at our door
And mom and dad were both snuggled in one chair
Watching wrapping paper flying everywhere

So this year at Yuletide, here's how we'll do it
We'll put up one Christmas tree
Then gather 'round it, sing hallelujah
Peace on earth and to our family
And to our family
Peace on earth to our family
Peace on earth and to our family

Xmas Xtras Xcellent Xercise

As all you folks from the nonprofit realm know the Christmas season is total madness for your organization. You have parties to plan, fundraisers to put in place and the ever so popular Christmas Appeal that must go out because everyone in the city is going to get 200 of the suckers and you are competing for the same dollars.

I have to say I'm really happy with this year's Christmas Card (appeal) and having my brother, the graphic designer, do the work pro bono is an added blessing. I kept it simple but hopefully the message is easy to grasp and folks will want to donate. The designing of the card is fun, it is the rush to print, cut, fold, stuff, and address the envelopes that gets tedious at time. I worked quite a bit this weekend on the card and fortunately had a great friend and volunteer help out so the work went even quicker. Time to get them puppies into the mail and hope for the best.

Now the fun part, planning parties for 600 kids. Buying gifts, working up activities, organizing the cookouts and snacks, and last but not least, getting the logistics down to transport them to and from the ice rink during your operation's hours. Fun, but oh so tiring.

Staff Christmas party to host and plan. It is tomorrow night and I think I am down for meat and cheese trays, a veggie tray, and responsible for the games. I wonder if I should start working on that soon... hmm. It is a white elephant gift party and if there is one thing I can do, it is picking out a white elephant gift!

Board Party in a week. Luckily I just have to find a suitable piece of art for matting and framing for the outgoing President. A breeze.

Two grants to finish by Friday. No sweat. I think I can have them done by Thursday.

Friday night is a special night with friends.

Saturday morning is Board Orientation.

Saturday afternoon is the State 3A Semi-finals at Shotwell Stadium, my Canyon Eagles are playing!

Saturday night I play Santa at Christmas Lane.

Sunday I think I will rest. Hopefully I will have a chance to hang with my two friends at the State School.

Next Monday... we start it all over again.

I'm reminded of line from "Bowlegs" by the NGDB - "Run on a treadmill and you'll get tired alot (puff, puff)."

Here is to running and getting tired. Cheers!

Christmas Carols Cause Contentment

Okay, I admit it. I love Christmas carols and have quite a collection of them. Some of my favorite are not traditional and do not get a lot of play time on radio stations but I thought I would share some of the lyrics as this Christmas season gets into full swing. Today I'll post two of my favorites from John Denver and the Muppets, A Christmas Together

The Peace Carol
by Bob Beers

The garment of life, be it tattered and torn
The cloak of the soldier is withered and worn
But what child is this that was poverty-born
The peace of Christmas Day

CHORUS: The branch that bears the bright holly
The dove that rests in yonder tree
The light that shines for all to see
The peace of Christmas Day

Verse 2: The hope that has slumbered for 2000 years
The promise that silenced 1000 fears
A faith that can hobble an ocean of tears
The peace of Christmas Day

(chorus)

Verse 3: Add all the grief that people may bear
Total the strife, the troubles and care
Put them in columns and leave them right there
The peace of Christmas Day

(chorus twice)

It's In Everyone of Us
the Hollies
(The lyrics posted in italics are the ones sung on the CD, those in regular script are the ones that are not.)
It's in everyone of us
To be wise
Find your heart
Open up both your eyes
We can all know everything
Without ever knowing why
It's in everyone of us
By and by (repeat)

It's in everyone of us
I just remembered
It's like I've been sleepin' forty years
I'm not awake as I can be
but my seein's better
I can see, through the tears
And I've been realisin' bad
I bought this ticket
And watching only half of the show
But there is scenery and lights
And a cast of thousands
You all know (you all know)
what I know (what I know)
And it's good
That it's so
It's in everyone of us
To be wise
Find your heart
Open up both your eyes
We can all know everything
Without ever knowing why
It's in everyone of us
By and by and
It's in everyone of us
By and by

Time to do some housecleaning...

I have finally gotten around to clean up my blog buddies links. I have added Tubby and Random Speak. I also updated Alisa's new blog site that I have been so delinquint in doing... which meant if you clicked on it you went to her old site, totally frustrating.

I removed some others who have stopped blogging. When they come back to the world of blogging, I will add them again.

Now for the question I know is burning in everyone's brain...

"Will Frustrated produce another Christmas Story Card?" The answer my friends is "yes" and again if you want the card to be sent to you then email me your mailing address by December 20th so I can get the card to you in time for Christmas. You can email me at:

derrickhallwithcowsandmolly@yahoo.com

I hope you have a marvelous weekend.

Hunting with wild cows

Went hunting for the first time in two years on Saturday. I know many folks in Texas call sitting in a blind and waiting for a deer to show up at a feeder hunting, but my buddy Pete and I do it the old fashioned way; we walk and stalk. Frankly, sitting in a blind waiting for deer to walk up and shooting them with a scoped rifle falls more into the realm of butchering an animal as there really isn't any challenge involved, but hey, if that is how you want to hunt, more power to you but I think I'll stick to the walking method.

Walking into the wind, stepping lightly, constantly searching for any movement that might be a deer. We saw plenty in the cold morning twilight but they were too far away (I hunt with a .44 magnum pistol which means you have to get extremely close to take a shot). The walk through the brush takes about two hours and right when we thought the day was going to be a bust, I spotted three does on the other side of a draw, standing between two cedar clumps. Caught in mid-step, I had to try to balance while I took aim.

I fired.

I missed.

The does flee and immediately there is an explosion in a clump of cedars to the left of me. A red brangus cow and her calf come flying out and charge at me, then turn to enter the draw and disappear into the brush. I can feel my heart pounding and shake my head in wonder at what had just happened. About the time I start to think about the three does I am shocked to see them reappear in the same clearing and looking straight at me. I snap off another shot and in my excitement overshot the biggest one. They take off down the draw and about the time I start after them I hear more crashing through the brush and find the cow and calf have returned with a determined look (if cows can truly look determined) and run past me in the opposite direction.

Pete walks up shortly, laughing. He tells me his dad had just bought that cow and her calf and she is pretty wild. Won't run with the other cows in the herd but seems happy to roam around the place with just her calf. He can't figure out her behavior either since most cows just meander away from us and typically ignore our intrusion.

No venison for the freezer but I did take the time to go and practice my shooting. It goes to show you what happens when you fail to keep in practice. Two missed shots at 50 yards. Inexcusable. Oh well, Pete at least had a good laugh at my expense.

I do have to think hunting with wild cows does give the deer an added advantage as you have to make sure you aren't run over by a focused brangus who has who knows what on her brain. Maybe this should be a requirement for all hunts...

Some days you probably should stay in bed

Yesterday started off with a bang; snow, ice, and cancellations by the score. We even closed the clubs for the day so the kids wouldn't be endangered getting to and from them. This made work a productive day as no one is in the office and there is little if any disturbance.

Great day, right? Sure... sort of... okay, it didn't end so well.

Had an appointment cancelled without notice.

Get home and while I'm carrying a TV upstairs, I trip. Some yahoo had dusted the wooden stairs with Pledge, it is like ice now (okay, I'm that yahoo but still...) My knee is killing me and my other leg is just sore. I know this will take some time to work all the stiffness out. Oh, don't worry about the TV, it made it up the stairs unharmed. Go figure.

The day did end well though with a friend dropping by to chat and Jman and I finishing up the evening having breakfast (served my world famous fried eggs seasoned with toasted garlic, pepper, and olive oil. okay, they might not be world famous but I've never had a complaint yet)

Sore but well fed, I crawled up the stairs and called it an early evening. Was in bed by 9.

Today will be a better day.